Discipline Help Anyone?

My six year old has just started witrh her power play and talking back. I have been kindly saying: "I can't allow you to speak to me like that." If you are unhappy about something I've asked you to do, you need to understand that I have to make some choices for you until you can do it on your own." If you've asked her to, clean up something and she back talks, remind her that you need her help and that its important for her to learn how to help out. I remind my children that sometimes they will be in situations that require them to help out. I tell them that my hope for them is that they will look around the situation and say : What can I do to help", then do it. Calm conversations about the guide work that you are doing for her will bring her into the circle of understanding. When my daughter keeps it up, I have her sit out for 10 mins, then back to it. I keep calm and don't let her see that she has pushed my buttons. It just doesn't give her the message I want her to have. My three children are my biggest lessons in how to deal with people who don't agree and to get through it without loud drama.
It just takes practice.
Breathe deep and know that you can do this to help her on her way to being her best self. Good luck!
L.

G.~
I recommend watching supernanny on ABC! It is such a great show and she gives the best dicipline techniques! Be consistant and stick to your guns. Best of luck to you.
J.

My son is 7 years old and pulls the same stunt. In one ear and out the other. I got really sick of repeating myself and starting yelling at him. I knew the yelling wasn't going to get us anywhere so I decided to hit him where it hurts.
My son lives, breathes and sleeps for Hot Wheels cars. He has close to 300 of them. I give him 3 warnings if by then he still didn't listen I told him to give me a certian amount of cars. Boy did he start to cry! And it really puts him back into check. Depending on what he did, would determin how many cars I took. (I'm not even going to tell you how many I took when he broke a window in my house.)At the end of the week, usualy on Sundays, if he did more good then bad, and depending on how good he did, I would give some back.
My son also has chores to do in the house and sometimes I will also give him an extra chore or two for the day. I hope this helps you, good luck!

I am mother of two and an elementary school teacher. I have zero tolerance for talking back so with my children I did the same thing you are doing with taking away privileges. I also instituted timeouts based on the offense. Timeouts took place in their bedrooms for a period of time. In my classroom, I have a thinking chair near my desk and it actually says "thinking chair." No one likes to get sent to the chair but it is a effective way to reflect on unacceptable behavior.

I am a 50 year old mother of 4 and a grandmother of one 2 year old girl. All children go through the talking back stage around 7 or 8. Children at that age also have a short attention span. What you need to do as a mother is be consistent in your discipline. You can't correct her for talking back one time and then give in the next time. The child has to know that there are consequences for her bad behavior. It may take a while, but she will get the message.
I would take something away from her that's a little more tangible because T.V. loses it's appeal after a while.
Does she have a favorite toy, or extracurricular activity that she really likes?
Also, set boundaries for her if she doesn't complete her tasks. Give her one task at a time, make sure she understands your instructions by having her repeat them back to you. If she doesn't complete it, then set a consequence for it. Be CONSISTENT! Children may scream and balk, but they really do want boundaries and to know that they can't push their parents around. It gives them security to know that we don't change.
You might also try making a chart of her chores and rewarding her with a gold star as each one gets done. At the end of the week, IF she has all gold stars, do something special with her. But only reward her if she has 7 days of gold stars. It will also give her a great sense of accomplishment to know that she has done something well.
Good Luck! S.

I won't make this wordy and drawn out. I believe in discipline,but...my imediate thought is that an entire week of discipline,is to long. Kids have a way of forgetting,and forgiving real fast,and after a few days,wished they could make up and move on.I personally wouldn't want to hold ill feelings towards my mother,or her towards me, for that length of time. If I was that kid,I'd probably have the attitude,that it didn't matter much, how I acted for the remainder of ( THAT WEEK) Just a thought G.. Good luck to you

Hi G.! I'm a special ed. teacher and although many strategies I use are geared for children with disabilities, they work just as well for other kids. I agree with all the other suggestions to be consistent and stick to your guns with WHATEVER conseqences you choose to enforce, but one area I think you should really stress is positive reinforcement. Catch her being good and verbally praise her whenever possible. In your case that would mean catch her being respectful to one your requests or being good in another way such as talking nicely to a friend or relative. Many times we get so focused on what to do after a behavior occurs, but providing the child with positive reinforcement when she does comply may prove to be more powerful than punishment. Star charts used to earn favorite treats are also great, and you can start out with quick, small rewards after even one day of no back-talking. I guess the point of my reply to say this- remember to try to stay as positive as possible and look for the good things that come out of your child's mouth. Good luck!!!!