Discipline Help - Pasadena,TX

I read a book when my son was 18 mos (he is now 2)that blew my mind away. It is called- The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old
by Harvey Karp (Author), Paula Spencer (Author)

It has some really neat ideas about why the way you are attempting to communicate with your youngsters it not working. I don't live by the practice, but I use it when I am really desperate and it really works. The premise is that toddlers are like little cave people that speak in short to the point repetitive phrases. If you picture it you can kinda see it. Anyway, I was out to eat with some friends that don't have children. They were visiting from out of the country, so our lunch had gone on a bit long and my little one was getting bored. He started really belting it out when I whispered into his ear in neanderthal language that I understood why he was upset and offered him something else to do. (You can only make the offer of something else after they acknowledge that they know you understand why they are upset to begin with. To make a long story short he went from screaming to coloring in about 30 seconds and my friends were amazed. I felt good too, knowing that we both avoided a major stress out session.
I know this is a bit wordy, but this book really helped me. They also have a DVD. This might be more helpful because they stress that facial expression and body language play a major roll in the process.
Hope this helps
N.

Enroll them in martial arts, where they will be able to work out their hostility and learn to NOT hit, and take away privileges anytime they hit each other. Keep taking aay priveledes until they have nothing but their textbooks and vegetables for dinner. Serve punishments coldly and without emotion. Finally, and most importantly , be more stubborn than they are.

that must be sooooo frustrating. my first thought is, why are they fighting like that? a good part of it is probably normal behavior, two little boys, close in age, and at an age where they need to be taught manners and discipline, etc. but, underneath it, do you think they may be acting out frustration because of... i don't know, why is mommy not taking care of us? where is daddy? the positive male role model is important, or so they say. i have never tried it, but i know there are child psychologists, who know how to communicate and understand children that young. it may be worth looking into, if the thoughts i addressed ring a bell.

try taking them to a corner make them face each other, hands on each others shoulders, looking each other in the face. for as long as it takes them to laugh. hope this will give you longer periods of peace.

A.

Well my husband and I watch Super Nanny weekly for any tips. She always does the time out, natty chair, whatever ya want to call it. The time frame is minutes per child's age. If one is 4 years old that's 4 minutes in time out. On the show and in our lives it has proven to be a continuous thing. Do not try for a month and then try something else, the child will work ya till they know you'll do something else. Also try taking things away, their favorite toy, etc., depending on the behavior or what the child did. I am sure it is very hard for your daughter and you, but know there is a solution and you both will find one. Many moms here have great advice.

Hi, I am a single mother of an 11 year old son. It sounds like they are not busy or active enough. They need more to do with themselves. Take them out doors and let them run or play ball with them, ride bikes. 2 to 7 years old they need to be busy. Teach them how to write their ABC's. Take them to the library. I had to find out the hard way that keep kids in the house is not good enough for them. Keep your local children's magazine and see what's free for kids all during the week. They are fight because maybe they have seen some adults fighting each other. But kids need to use their energy in a positive way or it will get negative and out of control. They are crying out for love and attention from the caretakers. After about a week you will get use to it and it will become a routine, two good evening hours of being busy. They will welcome some quiet time. Make sure they are not eating to much sugar late in the evening because that does not help. After they have a good solid dinner they are through with the fighhting each other. They will sleep hard and through the night. We really have to talk with our children ask them question to motivate their spirit and mind. We cannot think that they just come in the world knowing how to get into positive play. Show Them, You have my blessings and prayers.
Peace