Discipline Advice for 1 Year Olds?!

please ask her mother the same things you've just asked us. My daughter is 13 months and sometimes a very aggressive girl. She has tackled other girls twice her size out the blue! If this is a regular issue, I would need help disciplining her. I believe she should learn right at the moment she's doing the behavior (when she's with you)--a long talk hours later when I pick her up isn't really going to do it. You and her mom should agree on how to discipline (saying NO, time outs, how long, etc.) so you can both be consistent. and ask her exactly what she considers overstepping the bounds. If it's something you don't agree to, then maybe you may choose not to watch her anymore, for your own daughter's sake. Direct communication is your best bet. Good luck!

The first two mothers have given you very good advice.

I would add that, because your daughter does come before your job, I would not feel bad if you end up not being able to watch this other girl. BTW: My kids were not aggressive. Though your child might become aggressive in a few months, as the other mom said, knowing that does not help you address the problem at hand. (You must address what you are seeing right now.)
Amy

Hi A. - I wanted to compliment you on the even-handedness and fairness in your post. Even though most of us know that a one-year-old is not old enough to be intentionally mean, a lot of people would have a hard time with that when their own child was the victim of an aggressive toddler.

I liked the advice about discussing approaches with the other mother. One thing I noticed with both of my boys was that I would start to repeat the "rules" of behavior to them and one day, miraculously, it would "stick" and they would do what they were supposed to do - and eventually repeat the rules! So even though she can't yet act on the rules, she is taking them in.

I think I'd probably have that conversation with the other mom, commit to a time frame (if even in your own head), and really try to make it work for that amount of time. Be very consistent in responding. Also, is the child getting enough sleep? Is she teething? (ask her mom if it's ok to try tylenol one day and see if it has any effect on the cranky behavior.) Also, if you like the mom, remember that you might trade one bad phase with this kid for a worse bad phase with another kid (one friend of mine's son was getting bitten for months - yikes.) Good luck!

I'd say keep redirecting her when she gets possessive. This is very normal for her age and no matter how mellow your daughter is now, she'll also go through this soon.

At one, children don't yet grasp cause and effect so disciplining the child by time outs or other things likely wouldn't have an effect. Maybe along with redirection, you could also provide a 'buffer' area between the 1 yr old and the 10 mo old -- seperate play areas nearby with similar toys?

I would definitely let the parents know though -- just because it's part of their daughter's day away from them.

good luck!

I also agree heartedly with all the moms here. U need to put your daughter first..

Wow... That was the longest question in the world! I would love to give advice but i really just wanted to say hello and cant wait to see you and your little one soon!

~M