Different Behavior in School and at Home

First of all, she probably really enjoys having the teacher's praise her so much and therefore continues that behavior at school because she doesn't want to let them down and wants to continue to have that praise. Make sure that you also praise her when she does things well at home, catch her being good, brag to friends and neighbors and grandparents (where she can hear you) about her good qualities that that will help! Second, continue to be firm with her regarding what your expectations are for your family and her role in it. When she realizes you mean business (plus that you're on her side), then she'll come around.

Hey we have the same situation. My prek son is amazing at school. So far he has yet not to have a perfect day. His teachers love him to death and always comment on what a joy he is. But at home he is agressive, never listens, and talks ugly to us. On the other side of the spectrum my 6yro son always is terrible at school, is agressive, spends countless hours in the principals office and in general just makes me want to home school him. Then at home is amazing. Always listens, does the right thing, and is awsome. So our plan was a chore sheet. I have a book and in it are the chore sheets you find at the learning kind of stores. All of their chores are written out and for my 4yr/o they even have little pictures. I use stickers on every box to mark if they have done a good enough job on the activity. If they fight or don't listen to me they don't get a sticker. At the end of the week they have to have gotten 55/60 stickers in order to do something special. On Sundays we have family time and if they have enough stickers they get to join. For example we might go to the zoo, the movies, or just make cookies. If the stickers aren't enough they miss out on the activity. It works. And little stickers are really cheap. Try it out. Good luck.

A.

When my daughter was in public school, we went through similar issues. I always thought that maybe this was because at home, she felt safe and could "let it all hang out". However, I had to get really tough with her at times, and be very consistent. In other words, there was no room for letting anything slide once or twice because I was tired of stopping her. If you exercise a punishment for talking ugly, you have to keep doing it. There aren't too many children that I know, that will catch on the first time. My daughter is now eleven years old, and a joy to have around, so I don't regret having to be so hard on her when she was 6-7 years old.

Same issues here!

My older son has always been like this. He's not "bad" at home, but he isn't nearly as good as he is at school. He's much more sensitive at home too (cries a lot). He gets excellent grades, good behavior awards, etc. We have found that as he gets older (he's in 1st grade now) that he respons well to us telling him how proud we are of him (and we have to say it often).

My middle son is very well behaved at school and pretty much a wild maniac at home. He's hyper, moody, you name it. We're just hoping he outgrows it and thankful it's not the other way around!

hi i live in el paso and i thought i was the only one with these problem, i also have a 6 year old daughter she is the same way, she goes to school and her teachers tell me she is the best student in her class, very well behaved, and than once we get come all hell breaks lose, i dont understand, ive taken her to doctors and they dont believe me on whats going on because she doesnt at like these at school, but i have a 1 year old that she is mean to sometimes, she gets me to where i want to pull me hair out and ive tried everything and i mean everything so when u finally maybe get some answers look me up my email is ____@____.com but i know ur frustation and i know exactly what u are going through, hang in there. hope to hear back from u.

I also think your daughter has figured out who she can control. Children are very smart and they will test the waters to see just how much they can get away with and with whom. My 5 yr old son is having the same problem except in reverse. He is for the most part an angel at home and is a trouble maker at school. My 14 yr old daughter was the same way when she was in elementary school. She had all the teachers in the palm of her hand and I told them this. When the school became stricter and less tolerable of her behavior she straightened up her act.

At home we have strict morals, values and rules that we expect the children to follow and we enforce them consistently. Consistency is the key! You cannot address/punish for something some of the time, if a behavior is not wanted it must be addressed each time until it is no longer a problem. The punishment has to fit the age/crime and also be something you are willing to carry out and live with no matter what because they will test the water and call your bluff. This is how they learn how far they can go and who they can control.

Good luck!

Sit down with her and tell her that behavior is not acceptable or nice. Tell her it's not the right way for a little girl to act. Do timeouts and take priviledges away. Hope this helps. I would also check to see what type of reward system the school has for her and try to duplicate it. Use that system at home and hopefully that works.

well ive never expereinced anything like that, but seems like your daughter might know who she can act up with. so have you asked her teachers to talk to her about it? maybe knowing that her teachers know about her behavior at home is might get her to stop.if she acts different there its probably cause her teachers wont let her get away with stuff like that. so when she gets home the bad girl she cant be at school comes out. tell her your gonna let her teachers know how she acts at home. probably she will stop.