Diapers Off!

Wow...nothing is quite as messy as a little ones BM's! I am the Mom of 6 kids and grandma to 6, foster Mom to over 20. I am not an expert by any means, but two things come to mind. This is you little boys last bit of control. Toddlers don't have much power so to speak, but this is one area where a power struggle can crop up. I think you might be giving him mixed messages by putting him in pullups/diapers etc. Try just having him wear his underpants. He certainally has the idea he wants it off. :) You might also think about one of those toddler beds so he can have a chance to be successful. Patience is a huge virtue when toilet training is in action.

I would take those diapers off for good. Seems like he feels it is Ok to go in his diaper and not his training pants. He may have accidents. I would put a water proof pad under his sheet. With the diaper on it makes him feel Ok to do it in his diaper, but not his training pants.

Try putting the diapers on backwards. It is harder for them to see so it will give you more time to get there before he makes a mess.

Children tend to BM the same time of day, usually after a meal. It's good to start a routine with them. Put him on the potty after a meal and sit with him. My 2 year old daughter is the same, and my first born went through the same thing.
My 2 year old doesn't always want to sit on the potty because she wants to play, so I sit on the floor in the bathroom with her and read a magazine and show her pictures or talk to her about stuff other than going potty. Once they relax and sit long enough, usually a few minutes, she goes. Then I clean her backside and allow her to clean her front with a flushable wipe. I know your son doesn't have a front to clean, but maybe after cleaning his back he can do a little as well.
Little boys usually are more difficult to train and are older. Don't be discouraged. The fact that he's taking his BM diaper off means he's on the verge of potty training success!

Kids are usually pretty routine in their schedules so if you notice he BMs an hour or two after lunch, begin putting him on the toilet around that time. That's how I did it with my two year old and we would say "doo doo" so he would associate the act with the word. (Have him sit until he does the do but realize it may take him awhile to understand why you put him on the potty.) Pretty soon our son knew saying doo doo would mean he would be put on the toilet to do his thing. It took a few weeks for him to quit having accidents but he finally got it!

Here's the amazing tip that another mother gave on a different website: Cut the feet off a pair of footie PJ's and put them on the child backward, with the zipper in the back, for nap and bedtimes. That way they won't be able to get at their diaper.

I would suggest that he move to a toddler bed. Perhaps he would get up and use the toilet if was able to get out of his bed. You could talk to him about getting a "big boy bed" and that big boys don't mess their beds, that big boys get up and go potty at night. Since you are already cleaning up a mess sometimes anyway, try for a nap to leave him in underwear. I imagine he would be more annoyed with the mess in that instance and perhaps would want to go to the potty instead.
Good luck!
~H. C.

I potty trained my four boys by allowing them to run around naked and/or in their new undies. Seems kind of odd but it really works since they are able to pull them down easily to go. With my last, he would sneak away and go poo in his big boy undies then we'd have a mess to clean up. I remedied this by keeping a close eye on him and watching for signs that he was going to go. When I saw them, his undies were taken off. He would not poo on the floor and was forced to sit on the potty. Worked like a charm!

get him in a toddler bed asap so that he can get used to coming and getting you when he wakes up and then you can take him straight to the bathroom. i know that my first daughter would not have pottey trained as quick if she could not come get us because she was not calling for us when she did wake up and was in a crib. my 2nd daughter just moved into a toddler bed at 20 months and instantly started wanting to go potty and comes in everymorning and wants to go potty right away. when she was in a crib she would make some noise at 7am apparently pottying in her diaper and then go back to sleep. so for me i think the extra independence helps them want to potty train. good luck

time to get rid of the diaper! maybe without it he won't have that security to poop in them and then there won't be anything for him to take off. he's just 2 1/2 and already doing so great...trust that he's ready for the big time.

Hi, I'm a mother of 3 and also a grandma of 3 and one on the way. When my children got old enough to know when they had to go, but would hide in a corner or leave the room instead of telling me, I got some potty presents! Little inexpensive things; small box of crayons, match box cars, things that you could pick up at Wal-Mart. I wrapped each one in bright paper and put them in a clear glass bowel. I showed the child the bowl and told him or her there were presents in them just for them, and everytime they put their poo-poo in the potty like they should, they could pick one out of the bowl. I place the bowl on top of the fridge, so that they could see it but not get to it. By the time the bowl was empty of presents, they were all totally potty trained. Good Luck, let me know if it works for you. By the way, I wrapped about 8 or 9 little gifts and they only got 1 for going potty each time.
K. S.

Is there a reason he's still in a crib? If he's a big enough boy to go poo & potty by himself on the potty, I think he's big enough to have a big boy bed. My son is also 2 1/2 and he's been out of his crib since he could climb out at about 20 months. We recently got him a twin size bed.. about a month ago.. and he started potty training himself. I think since we made such a huge deal about what a big boy he was having a big boy bed he felt more empowered to be a big boy in other areas. He wears big boy underpants and gets so excited about it. It seems as though you're giving your son freedom in one area and trying to constrict it another, when in realty the two go hand in hand. With the potty training freedom, he needs to be able to get out of bed & go himself or he'll always depend on you taking him to the potty.

Hi R.! Your little sweetheart probably wants to get the mess off as soon as possible. Can't blame him. What he doesn't understand is the hygiene AND the mess for you. Here are some unorthodox suggestions to help him widen his perspective and be motivated to change.

The next time this happens, even though it will be difficult and maybe even messy, have your son HELP you clean up the mess. It can be minimal, but he needs to assist in the smelly job and then wash his hands three times. Afterwards, talk to him in age-appropriate language and tell him he will always have to help clean it up when he does it. But if he doesn't want to do that (and you should voice that you would rather not do that), he can ring a very special bell (that you and he go buy or find around the house) that will be his "poop bell." When he rings it and calls to you, you will be so happy and change him right away. THEN because you don't have to spend time cleaning up poop together, you and he will do a special activity together because you have more time to spend with him.

Find a fun, irresistible bell or other musical instrument that your son loves to use. There's never any guarantees, but perhaps this can open up your own creative outlook and maybe your son will begin to want to change. The GOOD thing is that he is trying to do something good for himself. Encourage him that there is a better "good" thing he can do.

Hope this helps at least open up your creative channel.

J. Lowenstein, M.S.
Director, Cr. for Child Stress
and Violence Prevention
www.childstress.net
Mother who homeschooled two children who are now 32 and 26 and will become a first time grandmother later this year!!!!!!! :)

My granddaughter did that and my daughter-in-law (daughter) put the sleeper pajamas on and zipped in the back so she couldn't get it off. Hopefully it will be solved because you don't want them in a mess a long time either, their tender skin can get burned very easily. You can put vasaline on as a barrier to keep from being on skin. Good luck!

We have had a problem with our 3yo son also doing everything from simply refusing to attempt toilet use (altho he was trained at one point) to taking his own diaper off and attempting clean-up which is a disaster. The occupational therapist for our baby had a suggestion: She said to buy the little 25 cent toys from the gumball machines in the store. These are the reward he gets every time he goes poo in the toilet. I was like "yeah, sure, we tried that with my older son with candy and he did not buy it!" WELL, we said what the heck...invested a few $ and bought some gumball machine goodies (not candy, the toys that come in capsules). I showed him the jar with toys in it, put it up out of reach, talked about it from time to time. He did not say much but took it all in. It took him about three days before he "got it". In three days' time, we went from daily accidents and multiple bathtimes per day...to NONE...and NONE for over a month now. Amazing! I think it works better than the candy for our older son because it is in a capsule, so he loves the thrill of getting the goodie out of the little capsule...like opening a present. And the toys are always different and interesting (I have started seeking out places to buy new and different ones...I also recycle the capsules with other goodies or the prizes if I find them lying around...he doesn't seem to care).

This may or may not work, obviously every kid is different. But be patient and see what happens. I thought it would be too expensive at first, but for $10 investment I decided I could get a LOT of toys and no more poo everywhere, so it was worth it!

He calls them "poopy treats" now which is funny. And we plan a "goodbye poopy treat" grand finale trip soon to a fun place like Chuck E. Cheese so we can no longer have to keep purchasing them.

I am an experienced mom.

And you might not like this suggestion as it does initially take some effort...but...If I was you, I would have him sit on the potty a little after each meal. That way he and his digestive system will start to get programmed. You will be amazed at how quickly he will learn to do this and it may speed up the potty training totally. Good luck...

Retired RN and mother of grown kids.

By the way, I was potty trained by one year as my mother used this method from my birth on.

Hi R. ,a lot of children who have difficulty with feeling what's going on,haven't done enough belley crawling ,when you belly crawl you stimulate the pelvic floor and you strenghten the organs an d muscles around which then give you control of those functions .Spend time with him on the floor doing belly crawling on a smooth surface like wood or linoleum barefoot,if you wish to know more call me ###-###-#### or ###-###-#### .C.

If he's only taking his diaper off when he's in his crib, I'd be going for a big boy bed . . . We moved our girls from the crib to beds at about this age mostly out of necessity, someone new needed the crib, but they did great in their beds. The other thing you could do is put pants or something over the diaper that makes him unable to get the diaper off - we are potty training now too and the velcro sides make pull-ups easy to take off, too so I don't think that by itself will do the trick. Good luck!

My oldest did that, and after many mornings of going in her room to a huge mess (imagine finger "painting" on her wall, or just unintentionally needing a full body scrub every AM)..we ended up duct-taping her diapers shut at night. It was the only way. Here is the bright side...we did her no long term damage. She is 15 and brilliant and funny and has alot of friends. She is a great kid with lots of love for her family!

my son use to do this too. does he poo in the crib?? like when he wakes from his nap?? What we had to do is learn his patterns. like my son goes into his room to "play" when he needs to poo. He only goes into his room to play alone when he needs to do this so we know that in like two minutes we need to go back and check him. if we dont and wait to long oh no messy messy. so if you know he goes right after a nap and he usually naps for two hours start checking in on him every so often near the two hour mark and that may control the situation. good luck!!

Is there a reason he is still in a crib?? does he have success with day-time BM's in a toilet? Maybe if you make a big deal about a big boy bed and let him help with getting it and putting together he might feel empowered to be a "big boy". Maybe he might get up on his own and go potty in the "big boy" toilet??

Just a thought.

Your son should be removed from the crib and put in a big boy bed. This way he can get up as soon as the urge arises. Sometimes this "urge" to go potty is a split second. As hard as it is to remove him from his crib, I had to do the same thing. Potty training is an independence thing, and kids should be able to make it to the toilet on their own.

I used to have to safety pin my kids pj's so they couldn't get the the diaper.

Babies won't BM in their sleep so it must happen sometime when he wakes up, even if it's only for a little bit. Try keeping an ear open to see when he first wakes up and then rush him off to the bathroom.
Good luck!

Try giving him a special ticket if any thing goes into the potty, even dumping it into the potty and then he gets a little something by turning in the ticket. Try making it two tickets to get bigger item. Or more tickets if he gets something into the potty directly and more tickets bring bigger items. The ticket system can of course be tapered or changed as he gets the habit of going into the potty regularly. Just one way thaat I have seen work with a little guy.

Hi..we had a similar problem. We were always watching him, and I know it's hard to keep constant watch, but it only lasted a little bit, and as soon as we realized he was going then we walked him over to the bathroom and went through the whole stripping down thing together and told him that the bathroom was the only place where it was okay to take his clothes off after a BM. He seemed to catch on pretty fast. He was closer to three though. Good luck.

Congratulations on your potty training success! First off I'd make sure he can get on the toilet by himself when he feels he has to go. He sounds like he is pretty independent and doesn't want Mommy or Daddy's help. Second, this sounds really gross but it works, make him clean up the mess (you can help a little if you must). While he's cleaning and complaining explain to him that he won't have to do this if he goes BM in the toilet or at the very least has you help him take off the pull-up without the mess. Be consistent with him doing the cleanup. He won't like it and he'll make a different choice.

Hi R.,
It looks like someone else suggested this too, but for the last 2 weeks I have been putting my 2 1/2 year old in sleeper pj's backwards. The fleecy 3T's are big enough that you don't have to cut the feet out. It has been working like a dream!
Good luck!
M.

Oh boy, can I relate! My 3 yr old daughter does the same thing and 'paints' her room and bed! The only thing that we could do....and it works great is to duct tape the diaper on. We call this her "belt" and she loves being able to "accesorize" her outfit. Luckily duct tape comes in various colors!! We just use a small strip over the tabs on the diaper (NOT on the skin!!!) and around her back, just so she can't reach them and pull it off. I hope this helps. I got this tip from my cousin who's son did the same thing....at first I thought it was cruel, but it isn't and it works really well!
I wish you luck!!!

Make it a habit that he goes into the bathroom to poop, even if it is in the diaper. Then have him watch as you empty the poop into the toilet and he gets to flush. He will start to get that the bathroom is where he does that. He gets to bring in toys and other entertainment and have potty training books too. We also checked out every library book regarding the potty for kids. My little one is suddenly really proud and interested in pooping on the toilet. If he is taking off the poopy diaper in the crib, I would make sure you cover him with a pair of pants he can't get off, like zip and snap topped pants and/or I would put a strip of duct tape on as reinforcement if you know it is the diaper he is likely to poop in, when you put it on.

Hi R., Boy this is a tough one, to bad this job doesn't come with an instruction booklet!! I would try a different approach, it may be that the diaper is the problem, psycologically he may revert in his mind, if you don't have trouble during the day. Tell him to go to the bathroom right before he sleeps, and monitor food, give him a couple hours between his dinner/lunch, and sleeping, tell him that you are throwing away the diapers because he is a big boy and he doesn't really need them. Let him help throw them away (use a clean receptical in case it doesn't work!) You may have to lose some sleep for a couple days, but you can keep an eye on him. You wouldn't be pregnant with another would you? That can do it too, my daughter put me through some serious paces!!! Good luck, keep trying. Unfortuately this isn't an exact science, just more proof that God does have a sense of humor!! R.

I have two words...duct tape. :)

R. -

All great advice you've gotten! My son did the same thing at that age. I agree that you should make sure the diaper stays on to avoid the mess and take steps to work on the poop training but one thing I would add is...

Be patient! Boys (and girls) sometimes take a long time to go from urine-trained to fully trained. (It seemed like it would last forever with my son!) If you get tired of poopy underpants, back off for a while and keep your cool. It can be easy to lose it when faced with the on-going mess!

my little guy is 20 months and strips off his diaper all the time. We are trying to start potty training, but not very successfully. The solution we have for the striping is put him in a onesie, all the time. Under his clothes if it is a two piece or has a zipper. he can't figure out buttons yet so we are safe there. We no longer find him naked in the crib, lol.

R.,
That is normal and I believe it happens to everyone. I have no easy answer or solution for you. Just be lucky that he doesn't paint the walls with the feces as some children do. I would keep a close eye on him if you put him in a diaper and he hasn't had his poop for the day. Be aware of how long his naps are and try to catch him before he wakes so you can get the diaper off and him on the toilet immediately. It's going to take some work, but it will pay off in the long run.
Best wishes, A.