Hi Ladies. My profile is not up to date. Jack is now just over a year old. He does not sleep through the night for us. He has before, sometimes days at a time, but it is always a surprise when he does. It is becoming a particularly desperate situation. He is getting to the point where he wakes nearly every hour, and takes a very long time to get back to sleep, if at all. My husband takes the majority of the night shift (bad because he works full time to my eight hours a week). What happens to me is this: I get up with Jack for about 30 min-an hour, and then Russ takes over when I can't get Jack to go to sleep. Then I go to bed and toss and turn for anywhere from an hour to the rest of the night. I haven't gotten any sleep, and neither has my husband, who dozes in the chair in the living room with Jack. He is coping much better than I, being perpetually on the verge of tears. No one ever takes Jack overnight for us, so this is our every single night. I am miserable. During the day I try to be super mom, and Jack is naturally super baby, but I am losing my edge. I can't find the enthusiasm to keep up with his expanding awareness and energy.
Our pediatrician is really old school, and will only recommend the cry it out method, which we have been unable to stomach so far. In our defense, Jack makes a very compelling argument, and in the middle of yet another night, our defenses are down. We don't give him a bottle in the night, so I don't think he's hungry. He just has really bad habits and an insomniac mother.
Any suggestions are welcome.
HELP!
Thanks for all the insight girls! Russell and I decided to try a Ferber-esque method where we put him in his bed, giving him affection while he fusses, but refusing to remove him from his bed. When he stands at the rail, we hug him and kiss him, telling him how tired he is. Then we lay him back down. He doesn't like it so much, but we have been able to get him to fall asleep in his bed instead of astride one of our chests. Last night he slept from two until nearly seven, after several false starts earlier in the night. It wasn't a full night's rest by any means, but it was a far cry better than what we have been experiencing. I forgot to mention in my first post that Jack has been sick in some way or another this entire month. First it was a stomach bug, then bronchitis with breathing treatments, then he got ear tubes and suffered an ear infection afterward. While these illnesses are not the cause of his bad sleeping habits, they only served to make a bad situation worse. He's feeling better, and hopefully we can change his habits with more ease. Thank you all again for your input. Sometimes just knowing that we're not the only sleep deprived couple in the world helps.
We had the same problem with our daughter. It was recommended that just before bedtime, give him a bottle with rice cereal mixed in. It worked wonders! My daughter would often do the same thing Jack does. It seemed that she would only fall asleep out of exhaustion from crying, and then wake up an hour later. The bottle/cereal mixture seemed to do the trick for us. I hope it works for you.
Hey C.,
I also didnt think I could do the crying it out method, until I just didnt have any other option. Although it could be more than just a bad habit of waking up all night, odds are that is what it is, just a bad habit, and Jack needs your help in breaking it. Let him "cry it out" on the weekend, when you and your husband can tolerate it better. That is what we did. It took ONE time of crying badly, it last 1 1/2 hours (I of course went in, patted her, etc) after that it was 5 min to 3, 2, now NONE. Every now and then she wimpers to sleep, but she LOVES her bed, it is her say place. I know it is scary, I really didnt want to do it, but I really think you should try it. Think of it like this, a year of no sleep verses a night or two of him crying it out......Good Luck
Try "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." My sister's twins were the same way, and it worked MIRACLES for her, all with gentle parenting that didn't go contrary to her instincts. the library, a book store, Amazon, wherever you can find a copy, get it and get some SLEEP! (I know, it's my favorite word, too LOL)
For your own sleep (I, too am quite the insomniac), the technique that works best for me is something I learned in my Hypnobirthing class. Breathe in to a count of four and out to the count of eight. Focus on your breathing and counting, and you'll find yourself starting to relax. It takes practice - in the beginning, I was awake for nearly an hour doing it. Now I count about three breaths and I'm out. Hey, if it helped me sleep through labor (!), it's worth a try, right! LOL
Hang in there, go with your gut, try the book (it even has fast reference pages with "real-life situations and examples), and good luck!!!
Jodi Mindel's Book "Sleeping Through the Night" and Ferber's "Solving Your Baby's Sleep Problems" are both excellent resources to guide you step-by-step to getting him out of this bad sleeping pattern and into a healthier one. I understand you not wanting to have your baby feel abandoned at night, but he needs his sleep as much as you do. You are going to have to do a little tough love, but both of those books will give you options on how to go about it. I think they may both be available at the library as well as national booksellers.
