Desperate for Help!! Toddler Won't Stay in Bed.

It took a couple of weeks for him to get used to it, but what we did was to put his night light on a timer. When the light was on, it was bedtime. No questions asked. There was no playing around once it came on. If he wasn't ready for bed yet, he had better be getting ready. Once the light went off, he was then allowed to get up. We set a few specific rules about getting up while his light was still on, and the consequences.

We started this when he was 2 yrs, before potty training, but it still works for us even though he is now 4 1/2 yrs. As needed, we would adjust the times that the light goes on/off or the rules and consequences.

We have a baby gate across my daughter's door.

Things that have worked for us:
-the gate
- letting her look at books quietly on her bed. She can't leave her bed.
- letting her camp on the floor of her room.

Put a gate up and that at least keeps him in the room and he will eventually fall asleep. I would tell him he needs to go potty before he gets in bed and then that should be 'it'. Of course if he needs to go in the night you could take him then. If you let him continue a pattern like this it will only get worse. He's using the potty as a way to get you to come, of course.

Oh, that is so tiring for mama and baby!
I have a friend who bought a very cool clock type thing for toddlers. One half has a night scene that glows until morning when it is okay for the child to rise and shine, and then the other half lights up to show a daytime scene! ATraining Alarm Clock, but you can turn the alarm sound off.
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId...
Worth a try to get some more sleep, right?
Sweet dreams!

K., here's what my ped said to do if I needed to (I didn't have to, but I've never forgotten it.) He told me that I could put the lock on the outside of the door by turning the doorknob around, and lock the door so he couldn't get out. However, if that was too upsetting to me, that I could buy a cheap interior door from Lowe's, have them cut it above the doorknob hole, sand it to prevent getting splinters, and install it in place of his regular door. That makes it like a very tall baby gate, and he can see out into the hallway. You put the lock on the outside so that he cannot come out of the room.

Another mom on here mentioned that they greased the doorknob with vaseline, and their child couldn't get the unlocked door opened. That's a lot less trouble, but also means that the child is used to a closed door.

I would really get tough with him and tell him that you will no longer come in to see him, and that he may not come out of the room. Then stay away from his door. Let him cry about it, let him lay in the middle of the floor, whatever. Just as long as he stays in his room. He needs to put HIMSELF to sleep without expecting you to do it.

Eventually he will give up and go to sleep wherever it is most comfortable, which is his bed.

Good luck,
Dawn

Is he able to use the potty on his own or still pretty much in the early stage of training? If he can go on his own I would keep a potty in his room, which would eliminate that excuse. I use an extra tall gate so my fearless climber can't get out of the room if he tried.

I would set down the rules, "Bedtime is now, you go potty before bed, if you have to go again YOU go, I'm not coming back in. I'm going to sleep now, and you need to, too." No bribes, rewards or threats. If a gate won't work try a door knob cover on the nob so he can't open the door or do what Dawn suggested, put the lock on the outside of the door. Also try one of the cool Cloud B night lights, they project a constellation of stars on the ceiling and stay on for 45 minutes:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3...

These don't plug into the wall, they're battery-operated.

Don't give in to him when he calls, just remind him that it's bedtime and he needs to go to sleep, engage as little as possible and don't go in the room. He may cry, he may scream, he may fall asleep in the middle of the floor, but he will learn to go to sleep on his own.

_______

Have to say, which I usually don't, that if someone doesn't agree with me that's fine, but to say my belief is "disgusting," have some respect. Just because you disagree with advice doesn't automatically make it wrong and yours right. Also realize that the person asking a question has the ability and right to make the best choice for their child, and is not obligated to take any of our advice. I actually thought this was the reason we were here, to share advice and have an opportunity to benefit from what we all know and have experienced, not dictate. Maybe i'm naive...

And, no, I'm not having a bad day, i just feel we ALL deserve to share our advice without being criticized. A little respect goes a long way.

I start my bedtime routine at 8 and my daughter is still up at 9.30, in and out like a yoyo. It is frustrating, and it pisses me off. I get so mad with her!
Honestly I don't know the answer, my son did it too, and still did it up until he was about 5.

I'm not sure how old your son is exactly, but when our older son was 2 we used to sit with him until he fell asleep. It really made him feel safe and helped him relax until he fell asleep. Then we transitioned him out of that by making up excuses to leave the room with the promise of coming right back (load the dishwasher, empty the drier, use the restroom, etc). We always came back but gradually increased the amount of time we were gone. It wasn't long before he was asleep before we got back. Not we just say goodnight and leave.

Meet his needs now and work on a plan to transition him. I think forcing him to stay in his room might seem like the easy answer now, but it would be sending him the wrong message. It's tiring but well worth it in the long run.

Can you move his starting routine back maybe half an hour? I know my kiddos are not ready to start bedtime at 7:30, that's just too early for them.

Get him audio books via Itunes.. be it Goodnight Moon, or Brown Bear, Brown Bear, record all his favorites on one CD, put it on repeat, give him a couple of books and tell him he can listen to his stories but has to ly down and try to go to sleep.

He will eventually get bored and fall asleep. If you can close the door, keep the nightlight on for him near his bed so he can at least see the pictures in the books.. it will get his imagination going, and have pleasant dreams. If you have to put one story on repeat so be it... at least it keeps him in the bed, listening...

good luck. There is no right or wrong way mommy - all you can do is try.

I agree with setting some guidelines about time and getting up. I've heard of the night light timers and those would be a good idea, as CM suggested. We told my daughter that she can't leave her room until the clock says 7. If she wakes up before that she can play in her room or go back to bed. At the beginning she would play, just b/c she could I think, but now she almost always goes back to bed!!

As far as the gate issue, could you just try closing his door? That way maybe there is a barrier to make him feel safe but he could still open it if he needs to go potty?

As far as him coming into your room when it's not time, tell him in advance that when he does that you will be putting him back in his room and you won't be talking to him or hugging him or kissing him, you'll just be taking him back to bed. If it comes to that, he probably won't like it since he wants the attention and love of mommy and that will likely help to end that behavior too.

Good luck!

Can you move his starting routine back maybe half an hour? I know my kiddos are not ready to start bedtime at 7:30, that's just too early for them.