S.B.
I realize that this is heartbreaking for you. I suggest you call your GI doctor's office today and talk to a nurse or the doctor. Ask them, while you are not sedated, if there are any other medical options available that will not interfere with your breastfeeding. There may not be any medicines compatible with breastfeeding, so be prepared for that as well. As disappointing as this may be to you, you need to take care of your health. Untreated ulcerative colitis can lead to needed parts of your large intestine removed. This is a major life altering surgery. Your baby will be fine. This does not mean you are a failure. It does not mean you loved your other children more. It simply means a change of plans.