J.G.
I'm not sure what happened a year ago, but in many ways the marriage ended when you took off the ring. Most nights I sleep on the couch & my hubby in the bed, but it is because of different reasons.... I wake-up in pain when I sleep in the bed. So much so I can hardly walk & we don't have the funds to get another one right now... maybe next year.
We do fight - I don't know 2 people that don't from time to time... but when all is said & done it's over. It sounds like the last year has been one really long fight. Whatever happened a year ago hasn't been resolved. You need to ask yourself if it is possible to resolve it... if it can't be, then there is no point in dragging your kids or yourself through this anymore. If there is hope that it can be resolved - then it's time to try to sit down & resolve it.
Men do want "things" for working everyday and taking care of the family. If you are a SAHM - then that means he is the "worker" of the house (the one pays to put a roof over everyones head). I understand it is hard to think of him in that way... but men get more angry the longer they don't get what they want. Not that you should just give in & let him have it... but try to understand that some of his anger and verbal outbursts could be because of the lack of "stuff" going on.
I'm currently a SAHM - that is since I was laid-off last July... I still do get unemployment, but I'm enjoying my dream job of being a mom & wife during my hunt for a new job. I do understand that at the end of the day you can be very tired... I have 3 kids of my own & one on the way (which is why I don't have $ for a new bed - had to get one for the baby due in July). We give up a lot so that our families can have what they need... and sometimes even that make it seem like your not as important as everyone else in the house.
For right now - I think you need to search yourself & see what you really want out of life. If you can't reach that with him - it is time to let go. Many kids are raised & turn out good in a one parent enviroment. Don't "stay together for the kids"... if you and hubby can't work things out, get over whatever happened a year ago, move on from here & work on becoming friends & lovers again... it's time to let go for both of you.
But if you do choose to stay... you will have to put that ring back on your finger, try finding a way of talking to him & not fighting, try to find a way for your skin not to crawl when he touches you & start over from the day you choose to let it all go.
I wish you luck in whatever you choose!! You are the only one that really knows what is really happening in your life & I hope you are able to find peace in it soon!
