Decrease in Desire to Show Affection After Baby

I have a four year old son and a 17 month old son. After our first, everything went back to normal after he got a little older, but with my second, things haven't been the same at all. We never have time for each other and I used to complain to my husband all the time, but now I just accept the fact that while we have little ones things are going to be different. I don't exactly know how to fix it, but I just have faith that things will be better for us in the future. We love each other and our family, so I'm confident that our marriage will only become stronger through all of this. Just another part of the journey of having children. Good luck to you and your not alone!!

Glad to hear I'm not the only one out there. My baby girl will be 3 months on the 18th and my husband and I have only attempted sex twice since she was born. I know he "needs" that, but with me nursing, touching my breasts has been uncomfortable and that was the main way to get me arroused. We didn't have sex about a month or so before she was born...I was on bed rest and it was just uncomfortable...and now it's going on 3 months after. Not only the sex is an issue, I'm tired all the time and the interest is just not there. I still like and enjoy just cuddling, but really nothing more right now. I've tried taking a bath and relaxing...I want to be in the mood...I'm just not. I SOOOO understand where you are at and hope we can find a way back!

No suggestions here, but I'm in the same boat. I have a 19 month old and a 3 month old. I think part of it is just being tired/overworked and never having a second to be "off". I have been trying to make an effort every day even when I really don't want to. It is getting easier.
Good luck!
A.

I had the same problem after my son almost 3 years ago. I stayed home with him until he was about 8 mos. old, so I got to cuddle with him all day long. My husband travels for a living so when he would come home I was so into my son that I didn't have much time for my husband. Of course this didn't go over real well with my husband and he sat me down and said look I'm still here what's going on with you. We talked about it and I made an effort to meet his needs while still being a mommy to my son. This went on for quite a while, once things started to get better I ended up pregnant because things got so much better. After my daughter in April I had no problems like I did after my son.
What helped me was for my husband to tell me look these are the things I need from you emotionally/physically. It was almost like I didn't know how to take care of him anymore after having a baby and trying to balance work and life. My husband came first before my kids were here and I had to get back to that. I am his wife first and foremost, then I am a mommy. It's hard to put those in that order because children need us more than adults do. That's not to say I neglect my kids because my husband needs attention. I just have to remember to take time out for him and I. You will get back to that. Being in a relationship just takes work, every aspect of it. Your little boy is only 4 months old, so remember that your body and mind are still trying to get back to normal before the baby. I guess I would tell you to make a conscious effort every night to have time for just you and your husband, this will help you get back that desire for him.
Good Luck!

Aubrey,
This happened to me when my first daughter was born 7 years ago! it's completely normal and you're not alone. It seemed that I had been cuddling my baby girl all day so my "cuddling" needs were met long before my hubby got home. Besides a newborn skin is so soft, hubby was kind of scruffy LOL!!!!

I'm pregnant with my second daughter and due in April and I expect the same thing to happen regarding the affection, and physical contact. I'm not worried since it went away the first time, after a while. I don't remember very well but I think I felt like that for about 8 months, right around the time I was starting to space out breastfeeding (didn't stop completely until 1 year and 1/2).

anyways good luck and congrats on your new baby! such an exciting time, can't wait to be on the same boat myself,