My 3 and a half year olds pet frog died yesterday. She is pretty attached to it and our first idea was to tell her that the frog left to go home/with his family. But as I think about it, I think it might be better to be honest and tell her that he died. I'm torn as to which is better. I think she will be upset either way but hopefully get over it in a couple days. She wasn't quite 2 when our cat passed away and she still remembers it and will occasionally bring him up and talk about him coming back. But the cat was more important to my husband and I so I think she remembers us being upset about it too.
What do you think we should do? How should we explain it?
We told her the truth. I used some of your ideas as far as how to talk to her about it. I think I knew deep down we had to tell her but sometimes I just want to protect her from sad things. Of course, not always reasonable or realistic. Thank you for all your kind words, I know it was just a frog but was very important to her.
It is better to tell her the truth. Death has to be explained at some point and IMO it is better to explain when it's a pet and not a family member.
I agree with everyone that the truth is important.
"Froggie's body just stopped working, sweetie. Frogs do not live a long life,and it was so nice that we got to enjoy our time with him."
Let her figure out how she feels about this and just reflect her feelings back to her.
"I see you are sad."
"You really loved Froggy."
There is a book by Bryon Mellodie called "Lifetimes- The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children". My son was about your daughter's age when a baby in our community suddenly died. This book really helped. It's simple and reassuring.
I'm sorry for your family's loss. Our littlest critters are often very beloved by our children.
This is an excellent opportunity to teach her about the death. Get some books from the library. Better to learn about it with a pet frog than grandma.
I would tell her the truth. There are excellent children's story books and factual books about death, specifically written for children. We had about 5 different titles. We read them for years as needed..
Tell her the truth - don't make something up.
If she were a grandchild of mine, I'd tell her that Kermit (he must have had a name...?) died - that God gives some of his creatures short lives instead of long ones, and frogs are among them. I would remind her that all of us will miss him and, if she wanted a burial for him, I would find a little box and do just that.
Expect questions from your daughter at any time in the future, and think now about how you will answer them.
Definitely tell the truth.
Honestly, I think the sense of betrayal that you gave away her pet (or allowed it to go live with someone else) would be worse than dealing with the concept of death. Plus, it doesn't give her any closure... My daughter still asks about the kitty we had to leave with our neighbor when we moved... And it wasn't even our cat! It was just a friendly stray that we fed. (Though, the neighbor decided to take her in when we expressed how bad we felt about leaving her behind.)
I would find a book that explains death at an age-appropriate level. Just make sure to read it yourself first to make sure it goes along with any religious beliefs you hold, and answers the questions you feel she may have.
I say tell the truth. Animals and people die all the time and it is best that your child learns how to handle grief. It can also show her that her family will always be there for her even when she is upset.
Tell her the truth. Living things die, they are not meant to be around forever on this Earth.
Tell her that because of your family, that frog had a great time. You can find another pet and give that one a loving home, too.
If she ask about humans dying, talk about your beliefs. Be ready.
FYI, she may not grieve like you would expect. Don't get upset if she just let's it go.
I'm late chiming in here but I completely agree with the truth.
Just 2 weeks ago in the midst of our ice storm our 14.5 yr old Cocker was suddenly paralyzed. We did not know what was going on. He was our daughter's 1st dog. My hubby drove to get daughter to bring her here ( she lives 20 minutes away in her condo), so she could be with her dog that night.
We all stayed by the fire comforting our pet and in the morning hubby and I went to our dr and he was put down. So sad.
I got a lot of very nice messages thinking of us and a favorite which we've used before... Was very helpful . Rainbow bridge. It's a lovely poem which helps you through the process.
I know " it's just a frog" but this sets up the future for your communication with your child as well.
I'm sorry about the frog. Best wishes
