Dealing with Stressed Spouse

I am the stressed spouse who has more work responsibilities than my DH has. My husband has found ways to take over for duties at home that he can easily do, and when I ask, he usually finds a way to do extra things. He knows when certain large work volume times of the year that I won't be cooking or cleaning. He takes care of DD when he is home and I've had to bring work home. Basically, we have set it up that he will take care of things when I'm busy with work. When we can be a family, we make an effort to have family time by exercising, going to the movies or finding some family-friendly event in town. I've decided to make my designated family time the time to let it all go and enjoy myself. I hope that alleviates the stress around the house. Even though it will be a big dent in our family income, I think I am going to go down in hours soon to see if my life will be more sane as a result.

I have a highly depressed spouse, he started medicating with alcohol till I put a dire consequence to that if he continued. Now he is just depressed and refuses to see anyone. However at this time he does NOT take it out on our children. He always puts on a happy face for them. I do know they know he is unhappy from how he treats and deals with me. I explain this to him, but so far it hasnt motivated him to get help or change. I deal with it, in my own way. Since I did take that vow, in sickness and in health. I just hate breaking promises.

My husband gets stressed at times. It manifests itself with him snapping at me and the kids, being highly critical of everything we do, yet not willing to help with much. When he's like this, he tends to veg on the couch. I try to ride it out and take on more than I already do because he just can't seem to do anything else. Lucky for me, this ebbs and flows based on his workload. I wouldn't be able to stand it if it were all the time.

My husband has been diagnosed as bipolar, but honestly, since he got a much less stressful job, he is a totally different person. What I did, and still do, is to explain to my son, who is now 19, but was much younger when
i let him know, that his father has a mental illness, and this is how it looks sometimes. I made sure that my son knew that when Daddy has a hissy, it is not his fault or mine, but it is the illness speaking. A very good psychologist had him try a concoction of yogurt, flax oil, brewer's yeast, wheat germ and lecithin daily. It truly helped him. I make sure he does/t run out of yogurt... These things have nutrients that stress depletes from the brain, so it helps if a person needs them, and he obviously did/does. When he was in one of his moods, I would give him privacy, and take my son elsewhere for a few hours. And make sure that I was doing all I could to keep calm in the midst of the storm - yes I take my daily 15-30 minutes of time to meditate and pray, and I sometimes eat some of his yogurt concoction too. If it ever gets physical, you must protect yourself and get away. Luckily that never has happened with him yet. If he won't go to counselling, go by yourself to learn tools to use when he is stressed.

I don't know if I understand your question because you said so little. Just because someone is high stress doesn't mean it manifests itself the same way.

I thrive on stress, couldn't live without it, but I tell jokes, all the time. At home I am the opposite. I think it is a pretty healthy way to deal with stress, ya know?

I know people that cannot handle stress, even the smallest amount. Heck my ex thinks he is under constant stress and he has the easiest job on earth. I know, my son does the same thing and told me as much. He yells at everyone around him. He is not a nice person to be around. With him I handled it by divorcing him. I don't like toxic people, he is toxic.

I guess that is why I don't understand the question. Everyone I know who lives high stress lives is pretty laid back like me. Everyone I know who lives a charmed life acts like my ex. So how do you define a high stress person?