Dealing with Drama Queen Daughter for a Non Drama Mama...

I have recommended this book over and over... Raising Your Emotionally Intelligent Child. Your response to your daughter can have a drastic impact on the duration of her "fits" and the severity and frequency of them. Some kids are more dramatic than others, but helping to teach them cope with frustrations and sadness and anger will benefit everyone in the long run.

These sound like tantrums to me and I would just ignore her or make her go to another room if she wants to throw a fit over something like that. I think she will continue to do it as long as it gets her some attention. I'm not saying that she will stop altogether (although she might), but sending her to another room by herself should certainly shorten the length of these episodes since she won't want to be sitting in her room by herself. She won't have an audience there! When either of my kids pull these kinds of things with me, I just tell them that they have to go in their rooms (or timeout for my youngest) until they can settle down enough to talk to me without crying. My daughter is 4 and my son is almost 2.

Your daughter is plenty old enough to be able to talk to you without having, as you described, a "crying fit". I would start implementing some discipline in this area and see if it gets better. If not, then I might discuss it with the pediatrician because tantrums that escalate to that degree for such a long period of time don't seem normal for a 4 year old. But, if she hasn't been taught that this behavior won't be tolerated and that she won't get what she wants by acting this way, then you can't expect her to know any different. As for the paci, I say "to each his own", but you might want to think about taking that away sooner rather than later for a lot of reasons. I'm sure you've heard them, so I won't go there.....you didn't ask about that. :-)

I tell my 4 yr old drama queen to go find her self control, so she goes to her room til she's done & she usually comes out saying "I feel much better"

My four year old boy went through that when he was three so I would calmly tell him to go to his room until he was able to calm down. I did not get into an arguement about it, or get sucked into the drama, and if he questioned me I would just calmly take him there and tell him to come out only when he had stopped crying. I would make it clear he was not being punished but he needed time alone to calm himself down. He's now started some of this behavior again, but not as bad as last time. I now tell him that when he cries I can't understand what he wants and cannot help him, I tell him he needs to use his words to make himself understood. This has been helping a lot.

I follow a program called One Week Parenting Miracle with my little girl. Her drama is one of the reasons I got involved with this program, so I definitely know how crazy it can be! If you're interested, check out the program at www.oneweekparentingmiracle.com. This has actually helped her learn to calm herself down, and to see things a little more rationally. The main thing I like about using this program is that it teaches kids a higher moral reasoning where they can determine right from wrong by thinking and talking it through. I'm hoping this will help her manage her emotions so she can be a level-headed teenager.... ha ha. Hope this will help you!

My three younger kids are all extremely dramatic-I have NO idea where they got it! Anyway, I/we just make them go to their rooms when they start with the dramatics, when they are ready to be calm and nice to be around, they can come out. There have been times when they have had to be carried into their rooms, but they always come out a bit later saying 'I'm better now', and we go on with our day. Make sure you remain calm to set that example.