Dealing with an Overtired Overly-emotional Crabby-pants

Oh man. My son is 10 and he is a hot mess if he is tired.
Every little thing makes him cry. He doesn't get sassy or rude, he just cries. Which drives me nuts.
And it doesn't matter if he goes to bed at 9pm, regular bedtime, or midnight. He is going to get up at 6:30-7am not matter what.
So, he just asked me the other day if he could stay up later now that it is summer break and I said "nope! You are a crabby pants and cry at the drop of a hat if you are over tired and I don't want to deal with it. Bedtime is 9pm"
I guess that means that in *my* case it didn't get better. I just learned that he MUST go to bed at regular bedtime or it's all down hill.
L.

Frankly, she is 6, you can't get her to understand and agree to it. You just have to enforce that it happens.

It really sounds like you need to make her bed time earlier. If she is clearly not getting enough sleep, you need to make some changes so that she does get enough sleep.

At 6 years old, you are asking too much of her to recognize what her body needs. It is great that you are letting her know ahead of time what is expected of her, but it is not age appropriate for her to have the coping skills you are asking of her.

What you described is true of all kids. When they get overtired, they get upset about everything. That's just how little kids are. As they grow, they do mature. So to answer your question, when does it get better. Well, little by little it really does get better. But her behavior is entirely age appropriate for someone not getting enough sleep. You need to get her to bed earlier.

I would take the rest time away from her by saying.. I am tired. I need to rest. Come sit with me while I rest. Please read me this book. Then have a book you and she have not read and have her read it to you..

Or tell her, I am exhausted, I want to watch ...some quiet movie.. Ask her to join you....

I used to do this with our daughter and we would both, pass out..

She does not want to stop on her own and admit she is tired, so come up with some ways she can automatically calm down.. By the way,, her behaviors need to be treated exactly like whining. So when she threw the fit at the party, I would have taken her home, kicking and screaming.

Not putting down theDS? I a sure you gave her a heads up? In 10 minutes we are eating dinner. Finish up the game and then wash up for dinner. If not, Take it away until she can learn to do as you asked.

2 bites and finished? You handled it well. If you are finished, then no dessert. You need to eat your meal and the dessert. Stick with it..and send her to find a better attitude.

She's only 6 years old. If I left my 6 yo to "recognize" what he thought his body needed, he'd stay up all night, never bathe, eat corn chips for breakfast, and Oreos for lunch. lol
I don't know about your 6 yo, but mine is just not mature enough for all of that self-awareness. You lay down the law and stick to it. When it's time for bed at my house, it's time for bed. I'm the mom, I know what's best and I make the rules.Period.
You don't mention bed time, but I try to have my son in bed at 8:30. My son can play DS in bed for about 15 minutes and then it's lights out.

I think much of this is normal. My son is seven and exactly the same way. Instead of crying, now he argues. Back talks. Yells. Overreacts. Etc. It's irritating to say the least. It's rare for our kiddo to nap. We do some quiet time, but it doesn't seem to help. And our kids are both early risers too.

First, we have had several talks with our son about how he behaves when he is tired. We started these talks with him when he was well rested. Then reminded him when we saw the "sleepy angry kid" show up. We are trying to teach him to cope with being tired.

Second, regardless of the reason or cause, he is punished for inappropriate behaviors.

Third, we really, really limit screen time, especially video games. To get screen time our kiddo has to "earn it". I've noticed that video games are not good down time for my kid. It's like they rev his brain up. I am not an "anti video game mom" by any stretch, but it's not a daily activity. When the weather is nice, my kids know not to even ask for it. The DS is for times we are on a long car trip and need entertainment or places we are stuck waiting. ( I have them charging now because the kids will have to go to a doctor appointment with me today.)

Lastly, we have toned down the schedule. Bedtimes are usually earlier in our house than others. We have cancelled a few things here and there. Not told him a few things he "missed" out on. This weekend we wanted to take the kids to the drive in, which makes a late night. After the activities of the week, we realized our son needed sleep more, so we didn't go. Or we make shorter visits. Last week we went to a bounce house place. After two hours we left. Our friends stayed an additional two hours. We don't do this all the time, just when we notice he's tired or needs some down time. He is not old enough to read his own cues and recognize his needs just yet. It's my job to do it for him.

Mid afternoon is when I'd have her start laying down n watch TV or a movie she needs it. Or it'll be a long summer. If she is with someone during the day have them make sure she gets a quite time around 1 or 2

She sounds like she's either coming down with something or she's about to have a growth spurt and her body needs a lot more rest.

Plan quiet activities during the middle of the day so she can have that down time.

I would keep her up at night so she doesn't get up any earlier but I'd make sure she had as much quiet time as possible in those afternoons with the hope she'd fall asleep.

Mom, you understand she's too tired. Get her out of there sooner. If you can tell she's about to her breaking point pick her up manually and get her out of there.

She's six. She's not going to recognize all of the signs for herself. Instead, you and her other caregivers need to plan her weeks and days so she has adequate time for rest. If you do a daily rest time and don't just ignore it when there are better things going on, she'll get in a routine.

We're never going to change our children into little robots who allow us to push the off button. Instead, keep her schedule consistent and don't schedule too many of these extra activities that push her over the edge. When kids are overtired -- which your daughter sounds like she is -- it's truly hard for them to settle down.

So, your daughter is normal. There's nothing wrong. But you're asking too much if you expect her to go go go all day and do these great activities and then self regulate to take naps when there are more fun things going on. Instead, it's your role -- as a parent -- to plan for naps and enough sleep time at night. She has trouble leaving bounce houses and birthday parties because she's overstimulated and overtired. That means that sometimes you might have to say no to an invite. Or you might need to leave a party earlier. Watch her and you will learn her queues and signs so that you can help catch it before she melts down.

We always had quiet time between 1 and 3 no matter what.
You need to catch her before she winds up. Look for the signs.
I always stated what kind of behavior I expected before we left the house.
"When it is time to leave,you will not make a scene. If you do, there will be no TV and you will go to bed early."
And then I followed through. If they were well behaved, I'd paise them in the car on the way home.
Be consistent.

She may not be getting enough sleep. Falling asleep in the early afternoon or evening along with hyperactivity and irritability are sure signs of sleep deprivation. Try giving her a regular, calming bedtime routine every night. Maybe a snack, a bath, a story or watching TV for a short time, then lights out. No sugar right before bed, and no running around or excessive exercise. She probably also needs some down time--sounds like she's had an awful lot going on lately. I think if you can work out the sleep time issues, the eating and behavior will fall into place.

Kids that age really don't know what's good for them. They'll just run, run, run on hyperdrive until they collapse if you let them. They need routine and a set bedtime.

What happens if you suggest a movie? When my kids were little and had given up naps they would have quiet time instead, which often consisted of watching a movie. If they were really tired the movie would put them to sleep.

It will get better as she gets older.
My son would "hit the wall" and we just soldiered through the normal bedtime routine, but EARLIER. It's all you can do, really.
During crab days, if she won't nap or lie down--at least get her "unplugged" and doing a quiet activity: coloring, play doh, looking at books, make a collage, etc.
I know with mine, overstimulation needed to be countered with a large dose of CHILL.
But at 10--I still never hear the words "I'm going to go lie fown & take a nap!"

So, I've been reading "The Whole-Brained Child" and it explains stuff like this. Developmentally, this is normal until about 10, apparently. Check it out. It gives a lot of brain development information without being a textbook AND provides parents suggested ways to fill your child in on how their brain works, so they can learn to integrate their brain and better regulate themselves.

This book was recommended to us by a child psychologist specializing in attachment disorders as a great way to help children self-regulate. We are also reading this book as part of our foster parent book group, but it is applicable to many kinds of children. I'm learning a lot from it already and am only on chapter 2. ;)

Here's a link to the book ... http://www.amazon.com/books/dp/0553386697

we often do an afternoon quiet time for my 6 and 7 year old. I put on a Disney movie.. we all get comfy on the big bed.. and they watch the movie.. I rest my eyes... it does help recharge them.. as young kids do not know they are tired.. they just get onery..

maybe your sitter can do the quiet afternoon time.. she really doesn't need a nap at this age.. but just a quiet time to chill out..

You are describing my 4.5 year old son. Sometimes I make him do quiet time, but it doesn't always help.

She young enough that she doesn't CARE what her body needs; she only cares about what she wants. She's only five.

I think natural consequences will work much better than anything when it comes to her behavior when time to go home. If it were me, the next invite she gets, tell her it probably would be fun, but she cannot go because of her behavior the last couple of times when it's time to go home. Stand your ground; don't give in. If you stand your ground, it will be a lesson learned. At the next event, remind her on the way about her behavior when it's time to leave. If she has a tantrum, then she misses the next event. Eventually she'll get it right.

As for the sleep issue, she is NEVER going to willingly miss out of one minute of life. My GD is exactly the same way. She will go and go and go; stay up late; get up early, etc. I have to be the parent and make her go to bed early Instead of nap time or quiet time, have movie time. That's the time where she sits/lays on the couch and watches a movie. If she's tired, she'll fall asleep.

It helped with my 5 1/2 year old to show her how she got circles under her eyes when she gets tired. Now when I tell her she looks tired she finds a mirror and can SEE that she is, and lies down to rest.

She may also need to go to bed earlier. I have my daughter in bed with lights out by 8:30 (up at 7:00 +/- 1/2 hour). When she pushes back (which of course she does sometimes) I remind her that sleep lets her have energy for the next day and keeps her healthy so she can do the things she likes to do.

I did have to go over it with her a few times (dozen :) )but she does understand now how when she is tired she acts naughty. Since she does not want to lose privileges by being naughty she knows that being tired is not good. Now when she is tired rather than admit to it, she asks if she has circles. If I say yes or if she sees them in the mirror she takes a nap or goes to bed early.

Good luck!