My dd is very sensitive and emotional. But lately, when she hears or sees something horrible on tv or at school, she dwells on it and it upsets her for days afterward. For example, her school did an internet safety assembly and a detective talked about how some creeps abduct kids after meeting them online. My dd freaked out and cried that she thought it would happen to her. I tried to explain that these detectives were just trying to let kids know that they need to be safe. I told her that even though they made it sound commonplace, these events are rare.
I don't even let her communicate with anyone I don't know and she never uses her real name or location online (like instagram) and her phone location is always off....but she still has these horrible obsessive thoughts.
Any suggestions on dealing with this?
Sounds like anxiety. Make an appointment with the pediatrician and get a referral for a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders in children/teens. It's VERY common and a good therapist can help her AND help you in dealing with her irrational (but real to her) fears.
This sounds very similar to my girlfriend's daughter who is now a preteen but started being like this early on, probably even in primary. She has anxiety. She went to therapy and it helped a great deal.
One of my kids suffered from the what ifs. Not about these kinds of things so much but what if I have to go the washroom and there isn't one, what if I don't know anyone, etc. We just finished an empowerment group at school and the difference has been great. It was for giving kids tips and tools on how to manage their anxiety.
One of the ways we did it was to go through exercises such as "What if ..." and then going over the worst case scenarios. You write them down. So for example "What if some creep tried to contact me online" and you say "What would you do?" and she would say "I'd let you know" and so on ... so that they know there are ways of dealing with creeps. That even if it did happen ... you would be there for her. They just need to know someone is in control.
The key is letting her share her fears, acknowledging them, and then coming up with plans. Kids relax a lot when they know there's something they can do should their fears arise. Empowerment really helps with anxiety.
I would think about making a list of your rules for her safety online and remind her how those rules will help her stay safe. Explain that she has you to help her navigate things but some of her classmates may not and need to know what they need to do to stay safe.
It is never too early to practice deep breathing techniques. To talk through things and empower her to know she's smart and capable and will do a great job of making good decisions.
If she's still having issues then I agree with others that a counsellor will be able to help her develop coping strategies.
Best!
My daughter was born shortly after 9/11. I mean days after. At the time my son was only 2. As a result we never watch the news in our own home. I did not want my kids growing up scared of everything.
Maybe because your daughter is so sensitive you need to be cautious and mindful of how you talk about things in the world. Also, if you know about an event, like the internet safety assembly, warn her in advance so her mind does not start spinning out of control. Yes bad things happen but the detective was nice enough to talk to the kids about it, etc.
Guess it was nothing our son ever had a problem with.
I thought watching Jurassic Park might scare him when he was 3.
(He was so very into dinosaurs so I let him watch on dvd at home.)
Nope!
He very firmly believed the T-Rex would be his friend and he would go riding him all over anywhere he wanted to go.
He thought it was way cool and we watched it over and over and over again.
How old is your daughter? My grandson, now 12, has Aspergers, he has mostly assumed that whatever negative thing mention will happen to him. He clings to the negative. He mostly gets upset if we try to reassure him more than a couple of times. What has helped us is too most of the time is to say, just once, something like, "that's scary." The less we say and the more we ignore hid comments the quicker he'll forget his worry. It does come back from time to time. We make a comment that tells him we've heard and move on.
This sounds like anxiety. Maybe ask your ped. for a referral to a therapist so the two of you could learn some coping mechanisms. You won't be able to shield her from hearing and experiencing bad things as she grows. Kids can benefit much faster than adults with a little intervention.
You don't say how old she is - this is very common in young kids. But if she was in a program with detectives and since you allow her some on line activities and a phone, I'm guess she's a bit older. So I think maybe there's some generalized anxiety going on here, and perhaps she could benefit from some short-term counseling with someone experienced with kids. Ask the pediatrician about it and get a referral. Life's too long to be miserable.
How old is she?
If she gets this upset, maybe she isn't ready for a phone and being online.
Keep in mind that she also picks up on your perception of things.
I would be mindful of what I talk about and how she perceives my attitude.
If she is as bad as you say, maybe she would benefit from some counseling so she can learn to cope with her fears.
It is horrible how some people live their life in fear of all the what ifs in the world.
You don't mention her age, but I am going to guess that she is young since an officer came to talk to the class about abductions.
I think it is our day and age. We hear so much more today than we did when I was growing up. I don't recall the news crew being on scene during war, however, it is today. Maybe we only had the cheap (free) channels growing up. My 10 year old was on the sensitive side, but has grown out of it to some degree. She is still very compassionate, which I love about her. For a long time, we did not turn the news on or we would change the channel if there was some sort of tragedy. Somehow, she deals with it a little better. I try to explain to her that tragedy's have been going on for many years. She loves history, so I am able to tell her that as one thing replaces another, we adjust to the news as history and we move on. The only ones who have to live with the pain are those in which it hit home.
With that, she has been to Washington DC and went to a lot of the memorials. I explain to her that we just take a breath and keep in mind what our servicemen have done for us over the years.
It is not an easy thing to teach and it takes a lot of time.
How old is your daughter? My son did things like that and I always assumed he was overly fearful or anxious because I got divorced, the teacher was mean, I was too strict, I wasn't strick enough, etc etc. etc. It took a long time in this case to figure out the solution to his case ( and I am not suggesting he and your daughter have the same condition at all-she could just be fearful), but he turned out to have a mood disorder which happily is solved with medication after many years of my own anxiety trying to understand this. Your best bet is to search for professionals, call NAMI perhaps (sorry I do not have a number for your location) or check out any community services that can help with this anxiety.
