Daycare Question- Should I Be Concerned or No Big Deal

I can see the privider's theory but it is simply impratical and sounds very off-putting to parents.

Then I thought of it like this....Do I get to tell my boss, my colleagues, my clients that they may not interrupt my day? No I do not. I provide a service to them and am compnsated to do so and when their requests for my time are at least vaguely reasonable, I comply. I may negotiate by saying, "Let me know when you want to stop over. Nap time would not by the best and sometimes we go on walks, etc. and so I'd like to plan around this."

Any day care, home or otherwise, that does not 'allow' pop in parent visits would never be allowed to care for my children. It gives the impression that they could be doing something wrong, ie watching tv instead of the child, ect....

I run an in home daycare and my parents are welcomed to come anytime I let them know when nap time is so they know.

I would be very concerned. You should be able to stop in when you want to. Her concerns can be understood, but the kids are usually picked up at different times from daycares, so they probably won't even notice. Also, if you and your husband can drop him off in the morning and leave and he is okay, then there is nothing wrong with stopping by later in the day. I would NOT tolerate that. You are paying this person.......they aren't doing you a favor. While you obviously don't want to be disruptive or interrupt planned actvities, this is still YOUR child and you make the decisions!

Well, I'm going to give you both sides of perspective......

I did daycare for 5 years. During interviews parents would ask if they could stop by unannounced. I ALWAYS SAID: Yes, I don't mind unannounced visits once in awhile. However, if a parent feels the need to check up on me all the time, I'd prefer that they find other childcare arrangements because they obviously don't trust me...... BUT, I actually had grandparents (and even a dad) come by to "visit" a child/children a few times. THIS did NOT bother me. They were coming to see the child, NOT to check up because they didn't trust me. My only request for these visits was that they didn't come during nap time. Nap time was totally quiet at my daycare. All kids either napped or watched a movie and this was MY time to prepare snack, do my food paperwork and other daycare paperwork, give any babies I may have had special attention, and just get to SIT down for a short while (and IF I was lucky, watch one episode of "A Baby Story"! LOL.)

Rarely would the kids get upset by their visitor leaving without them...... And the "OTHER" children??? What is that all about??? NEVER did visitor upset my other kids! The kids all LOVED visitors!

You and your husband SHOULD have the option to pop in from time to time. What your provider said DOES RAISE A RED FLAG IN MY MIND. I do know a few bad providers. They are VERY good at deceiving the parents.......

As a parent. I would want to be able to HAVE THE OPTION come unanounced. I would be concerned at her being SO opposed to your husband popping in even ONCE!

I think this is typical. I am sure if you or your husband ever wanted to pop in to see how the daycare is run, that is a different story and would not be a reoccuring thing. I do go to my son's daycare in the middle of the day because I have to drop him off after pre-school and I did have some children cry once or twice for their M. then. However, they got used to it being a reoccuring thing and it does not even bother my other son who is there before and after I leave. My sons have never had a problem with me leaving them for daycare or school though either. And, I do know that it is a very difficult thing for alot of kids and could see her point. It could also just disturb her daily plans. Sometimes when I drop my son off, they are in the middle of a song or an activity and all the kids are distracted and lose focus on what she is doing with them and also she does too because she probably feels the need to talk with me. She does have another person there, but it is still a distraction. I would bet she just means it more from a distraction point of view. However, I am very very comfortable with the place my children go and have nothing but trust for them, they are like family. If it makes you this uncomfortable, maybe you are not that comfortable with the place to begin with and should consider that as well.

This is a tough one, which I can see both sides on. I can understand your husband's desire to go visit your son, but I can also see where she is coming from.
I would not be concerned, because her reasoning is lokoing out for your child and the others in her care. Yes, crying may only be temporary, but is it really worth it to possibly disrupt the day for not only your own child, but the others there?
If your hubby really wants to stop by, what about doing it on a volunteer type basis, and timing it with naps? He could plan a day he wants to visit, and be there to kind of assisit with an activity, and leave at naptime. That way, it doesn't look like he is just there to see your son, but to be there for all the kids, and then there is a set start and end time to the visit. That way the provider can explain to the kids that he is coming to visit, but everyone will have to say goodbye at naptime. It could be a good solution on both ends. =)
Good Luck!

I understand where she is coming from I run my own preschool and childcare out of my home, however as long as it was just occasional and I had advanced warning from the parent as to when he would be showing up and as long as it was for a short visit, 15 minutes or less I wouldn't mind. What are the ages of the children, young ones especially 2 and under do have a much harder time with the good byes and in the end where as the visit might be really nice for your husband, is it really worth it if you know your child is going to get all upset when you have to leave all over again, is that really what's good for the child. There's no way she can keep you from stopping by if you want to and if there are other reasons you want to stop by because you don't trust her care of the children then I totally understand and it would be best to stop by unannounced if you want to check up on her. But think about how you would feel if someone came in and totally disrupted your class, it's not their intention of course, however it does occur frequently, how would you feel if the parent leaves and then you had to spend the next 15 to 30 minutes calming down not only his child but possibly 2 or 3 others, when everything was running smoothly until the parent shows up. It can be a hard time because it can also be a big time where the child will test you both to see whose rules he has to obey, all my parents know that as long as their child is in my room they will obey the classroom rules whether or their parents are there or not. Just somethings for you to consider. I am a parent and have been in the childcare and preschool field for over 25 years so I know what I'm talking about. Hope this helps.

i have been a 'babysitter' for years. i have had kids that range in age from under one to 12 yrs. old. all the kids got picked up at different times. sometimes unexpected and in the middle of nap time, which only affected her kids. it never phazed any of the other kids to see the parents for a few minutes. to be perfectly honest, the kids that were leaving here where more upset.i can understand her reasoning BUT there should be no reason ever for a chidcare provider to tell you NO. they have no right to tell you when you are able to see your child. i, personally, would have pulled my kids out of there the minute she said no. good luck

I would be concerned about any daycare that didn't have an open door policy. Yes it is disruptive, but you should be able to pop in any time you want, with no notice. I would look for another daycare and have that be one of your interview questions. How long has your son been going there and does he seem happy? My son's first daycare was an inhome daycare and she was ok with me coming by for lunch. I did it for a couple of weeks more for me than him. Most of the time I went there I found her watching Jerry springer and MTV, etc. He was young and he wasn't affected by it but I pulled him out of there.

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This is my opinion, but as a parent, I'm not going to ask permission to see my child from anyone ever! I would politely let my daycare know that we would be popping in on occaision & if that is a deal breaker, then so be it & consider yourself lucky. We have some daycare centers that have live video feed where parents can log in online & see their kids playing, etc... they should have nothing to hide if they are providing appropriate care. Now, I know some parents are really picky, but if your not making lots of special demands, then I don't see any problem. I stopped in often with mine mainly cuz I wanted to see how my son interacted when I wasn't there. Hope this helps you.

She cannot just say "no". She should have an open door policy. She can definitely tell you about her opinion and her concerns but then it should be up to you to decide.

Red flag!

Kids in traditional daycare see parents come in all day long and take their children home at all times and don't even bat an eye.

This makes no sense at all; if she is really a care-provider and not simply a 'babysitter' then she should have the skills to be able to help your son negotiate through separation issues (if they pop up) when dad leaves instead of being 'inconvenienced' by them (how selfish of her!).

I'd be worried, too. This makes no sense at all.

I wouldn't be overly concerned, but you should be allowed to visit whenever you like. It is the law in many states as a matter of fact. I she licensed? If so, do some background on her licensed and on her. It may be as innocent as she say, but that wouldn't sit well with me either. I would tell her that you or your husband will be "popping" in and if she has a problem with it you will take your business elsewhere.

I would definitely be concerned. Any licensed child care should have an open door policy when it comes to parent's visiting their children. Unless it's during nap time, there should be no reason you or your husband shouldn't be able to visit. I can understand her being concerned that your son will be upset when he leaves, this is definitely a valid concern and will probably happen, but again, it's our decision as parent's what to do with that when it happens. I say bring it up again and stand your ground that it is a parent's right to visit during the day!

i would be concerned. the only time we're not allowed to come to our dd's daycare without advanced warning is naptime, which makes sense, since where the kiddos nap they would be woken up by the door opening.

If any caretaker ever told me I was not welcomed to come in any time my child was there, I would pull my child out. That is NOT OK.

It is her responsibility to be able to handle the child if the child does cry when your husband leaves. The crying will be temporary, and she can console the child, as that is her job. Children cry

You should never feel restricted as to when you or your husband can visit your child while at daycare/sitters, of course absent some extreme circumstances. It is a little more understandable that maybe she wouldn't want him to come during nap time, but even then, if he is quiet, he should be able to come in whenever he pleases.

I would find that a little unsettling. My son is at a home daycare and we were told from the beginning that we can stop in any time and I find that very comforting. We work further from home/daycare and we don't have the option to just stop in but I have tried to pick my son up at different times of the day (sometimes I warn the daycare provider and sometimes I don't) and she is always very accomodating.

I would be concerned. I understand the sitter's concern; however, you should have access to your kiddo at anytime.

Like most other answers here, I understand her reasons...however, you should be able to see your child at any time. Maybe you can compromise and have your husband bring a new coloring book when he "drops in" and everyone can enjoy coloring a page. That way everyone is happy to see a visitor. Or drop in and have your husband take your child home early that day. Bottom line though...trust your instincts. If this really bothers you than you need to start looking for another day care you are more comfortable with.

I would be concerned, My kids were in daycare and we could stop in anytime. He is your son, why can't you check on him during the day. I would think she is hiding something. You can never be too careful with your kids.

This is NOT okay? i would definately be concerned. That is YOUR child and you or your husband should be able to come see you child any time you want to! I would tell her this and if she is not willing to comply, then I would find a new caregiver for my child.

Our Day Care has an open door policy for parents to come and go at your leisure. I do understand her rationale because our kids would be completely the same. They used to be in adjacent classes, and we'd have to walk through one to get to another. If you wanted to pick-up 1 for a doctor's appointment, you couldn't avoid the other.

If it is a private day care, unfortunately, they can probably make any policies they wish regarding disruptions to the classes. Is it right? No, but we're not the ones who have to deal with the kids after they have a meltdown.

If it bothers you considerably, is it a possibility to move to a different facility with more open policies?

A lot of daycare providers will say that, but you should be able to do that if you want to!

For me it would depend on whether it was a daycare center/facility or an in-home daycare. At a facility that is a little more structured, I can see that they would not appreciate parents coming in to play and visit, but they should still allow unannounced visits to check up on things. I could see them not wanting you to actually go in the room though. There might be insurance liability issues in this case also. So I would be understanding of not allowing playtime at a faciltiy. Plus, facilities have lots of people around and the chance of a bad sitter is less likely.

For an in-home daycare however, I would not be okay at all with this. They should expect dropins to check on the kids, and in a less structured environment planned visits should not really be a problem. If you did it all the time and it was disruptive, then maybe a new agreement would need to be reached, but you should still be allowed to come by unannounced occasionally. If they are objecting, I would wonder what they are hiding.

The only thing I would be okay with is them saying no visits during naptime and maybe even mealtime, which should have specific hours. That is completely reasonable because your presence would be disruptive. I'd drop in on her one day this week and see what is going.

My son goes to an inhome daycare and she would not care at all if a parent wanted to stop in during the day. I think that is very wrong that she said he is not allowed to stop in and see his son for a few minutes if he wanted. I think i would be a little concerned. You are paying her to take care of your child and you should be able to stop in at any time you want. I would talk to her more about it and if it concernes you find a new daycare. Good luck!!!

Yes I would be very concerned. All daycares have an open door policy and sometimes ask that you respect naptime but will still allow you to drop in whatever. Its your child and you are paying her to watch your son, and you should be able to see what she does through out the day and how your son is doing in between the day as well.