Daughters Bedroom - How Neat Shoudl It Be????

J.,
Stop helping her, I did that for years and it was a big mistake. I have not been able to get them to clean the way I do, unless it is the bathroom or kitchen. Their bedrooms are their stuff, if they can't find what they are looking for, it is not my problem. Will I buy them another one of what they lost, no way!! SO, they get to pay the consequences of not having what they wanted. I recently took several things away from my daughter (18) because she won't keep up with all of her stuff. SHe knows she can have them back when she keeps her room under control.
Just like she wants a dog, I told her that she has to make the time to walk the two we already have, and then mark it on the calendar. It has been 10 days, and she has only made time once. Needless to say, that won't work with a young puppy, so, so far the answer is no. I have taken to
sitting on the bed, and giving them directions on what to do to finish, but I refuse to do it for them, or even with them anymore, they are all teenagers and need to be held even more accountable than before. I hope this helps.
W.

Daughter's Bedroom and Neat in our house is almost like an oxymoron, LOL. We work hard to make sure that she understands the need to be orderly, but we have also made it easy and we still have some struggles but it is getting better. Our daughter is also 5.

What we have done is made it easy for her to clean. We have the tote system. We have a plastic dresser in her closet that we got from target I think. the top drawers are less deep so they hold her kitchen stuff, the other drawers hold her dolls and dress up, and then we have a tote that goes along side of it for her stuffed animals. So when there is clean up time, all she has to do it dump stuff in the totes. It makes it easier, but now that she has papers and such that part gets messy. So once a week we do the trash bag and empty out the trash. Really I try not to make it a big deal because it just stresses me out. But I do need to be better about it!!

Good Luck!!!

J.

The rule in my house is NO food or drinks in the bedrooms for the kids. And I do have them at least pick up every couple of weeks. But I was never the a place for everything and everything in it's place kind of person to begin with.

In fact my parents finally gave up and just shut the door to my room. And as long as it didn't smell and there was nothing growing, they learned to just let it go.

5 is a little young yet to determine if that's the best route to go. If it's an important issue for you, still set the boundries you're comfortable with. If you can live with just shutting the door and doing a weekly (or in my house monthly) thorough clean job then go for it. And definitely give your daughter as much responsibility for the care of her room as is suitable for her age. Picking up clothes and toys, straightening her bed, vaccuming ... that kind of thing.

And definitely be VERY clear about where the line is of how much you will tolerate with a messy room. My kids know that I'm not all that particular about their rooms as far as neatness goes, but I better not EVER walk in there and find food and drinks. And the other main rule I set up with my kids was making sure they found a way to make sure clean clothes didn't end up in the laundry room to be washed. I'm still working on getting that one down pat with my youngest ... but he's gotten MUCH better lately. I'm only finding one or two folded items in his dirty clothes now ... rather than half of the basket being clothes that were still folded LOL.

I hope this helps somewhat. And good luck :)

I bought one of those shelves with bins. They work great for organizing toys.

This might now work for everyone, but what I do is when my 3 year old asks me for something like, "Mommy, watch Cars?" or "Mommy can I have a cookie please?" I use the opportunity to have him clean up. I'll tell him I'll give him the treat after he cleans up his toys. It's a great motivator. I also help out so that he isn't overwhelmed, but I don't know if that's necessary with a 5 year old.

As much as I like organization (and seeing the floor), I also know that kids have to create messes sometimes. It's the play process and like everything there is a time for it. So usually I'll let him get away with making a mess during peak play time, but when I see him starting to lose interest, I'll make clean up part of play time.

It's easier to keep tidy when you do it more often (like anything else). Of course this is coming from a person who beats herself up every month for having a dirty shower... LOL... if only I cleaned it weekly!! Ha ha!

J.,
With my first I always did the picking up of her room (until I had the second daughter then went back to work fulltime) I think that I am paying the price for it now her room always looks like a cyclone has hit it, drives us nuts, I have spent the time to try to get her organized but it only lasts a day or two (she is 12 now) My youngest I helped her set up an organization system (bins and containers for toy types, and a book shelf for her books)she is 7 now. Her room isn't perfect but she way better at keeping it clean than her sister, you can actually see all of the floor. Her sisters you can't see any of the floor. I think if you help your daughter set up a system she understands she can keep the toys picked up and make the bed, but you'll need to changes sheets, vacuum and clean any glass such as windows and mirrors. Good luck
Amanda

I also got one of those systems with the bins and put it in her closet so I didn't have to see the mess. I too like order but I know she's a kid and it's her room. I want to teach her how to do things herself but I know I can't expect it to be as I would want it to look.

I told her that each night before bed everything on the floor needed to be in a bin. I also made her a "things to do" chart and in the morning she has to do those things before she can watch a cartoon. Huge incentive for her. And I'm tough, no chart, no TV all day long. The first thing on the chart is the clean up from the night before.

For us this has worked great. It took training but it's been great. Little by little I add a thing or two. Now I have hang up clothes. I showed her how to hang her clothes and she has to hang the ones from the day (if they are not going in the laundry). I still hang them up after laundry because there are so many at a time but she does help me.
Hope this helps!

She's only 5. There are two schools on the tidy room topic, one is it's their room, let them keep it the way they want it, the other is you need to teach them to be neat and organized.

After 18 years of parenting, I'm still not exactly sure which camp I'm in, because I see the logic of the "their room, their way" argument, but I don't agree with being a slob, so I don't personally like my kids to have pigsties for rooms.

I think in your home you ultimately get to have it your way, but at 5 it's probably too young to expect her to do most of it on her own. I think you should help her a lot at this age. Then you are ultimately modeling a clean room for her. But I don't think teaching them to be TOO anal is healthy either.

So overall I think a reasonable amount of clean and tidy isn't too much to ask, but don't expect too much from them at such a young age.

I think that even though this mildly messy room may make you cringe it usually helps to let your daughter keep her room the way she likes as long as its not a complete disaster. This will save you alot of trouble in your near future. :D

My daughter is almost 5 and is just starting to really help keep her room tidy--that is, she can put things into their boxes and clear the floor of clutter on her own, if I ask her to. It's the same with my 6-year-old son's room. I think it's reasonable to expect your daughter to keep a relatively tidy room, but you will probably be very frustrated if you expect her to keep it spotless on her own volition.

So if you can lower your expectations of tidy and organized and not stress yourself out, you can keep the hands-off approach and hope she eventually decides to pursue neatness on her own.

For me, I've settled on a compromise. I've got an organization system set up with clear, covered bins. (There's one for ponies, one for babydoll things, one for kitchen things, etc.) Then we've got designated games and puzzles shelves, and big boxes for dress-up clothes, and so on. I can now tell my kids that it's time to clean their rooms, and they know where everything goes with very little help from me. They can get things mostly tidy on their own, and I've decided not to let the rest bother me too much. (Except every so often I go in for a "deep clean.")

Anything you can do to get her organized will really help! Best wishes!