Daughter Won't Eat Generic Food

Buy some name brand cereals of her favorite kind, when the box gets low REFILL it with the generic version of the coveted name brand. She won't be able to tell the flipping difference and you'll save money.

The package is a mental mind game. I did the same thing with a big yellow Cheerios box. I'd buy the grocery store generic brand and just swap out the bag inside the box. SWHITCHO CHANGO MAGIC!

No one is the wiser.

Also when it comes down to it, I don't make special meals for my kid. I make dinner. If she doesn't eat it, she can try her luck at the next meal. Subterfuge and hunger will make her come around to the new selections eventually.

I suggest that you stop trying to change her mind. Provide the food. If she eats it, fine. If not, fine. She'll eventually eat when she's hungry enough.

Don't discuss the reasons you're doing this. Don't talk about food at all. By focusing on getting her to accept different foods you're adding to the stress for all of you. Go back to making mealtime about something other than food.

Generic cereal is the BEST!

Dont take her with you anymore. She doesnt understand budgeting and will just stress you out more.

She will get over it eventually.

Dang! Woah. She really wont' eat it? Usually in my house for things the kids don't like, I just say, "fine, don't eat it" and they can wait until the next meal or snack I serve. I would just do that. It really doesn't taste much different, and she needs to learn to be a bit thicker skinned in a time of need for you.

I grew up on generics, coupons and budgeting, recycling for spare cash and getting everything second hand, etc. My parents would have had no tolerance at all for any spoiled belly aching about it. Not only did we sacrifice, but we donated, volunteered etc, and felt we had "a lot". She's acting very spoiled even though it's understandable if she's not used to the new regime, but she needs to get used to it and it will make her a more gracious and appreciative person in the long run when you get through this rough patch. I'd set her straight a bit and not let her bully you or whine so much about brand names. Don't sympathize when she storms off after not getting some REAL Frosted Flakes. You might want to cue up some starving children videos at that point (my mom would have). That behavior would upset me if it was my kids and I would not take it from them. I might be tempted to remove some other luxuries as well if they were feeling like victims.

Don't let her make you feel bad, mom. Make her grow. And good luck getting through this, I've been there many times and probably will be again...

Very frustrating but I can relate to her point of view. For foods that I eat frequently I notice a big difference between brands (whether that is between a store brand and a name brand or between 2 name brands). It is usually a texture difference for me more than a taste difference. I especially notice with cereal, crackers, and chips.

The best way to save money (though it takes more time) is to stop buying all processed foods. Buy things like oatmeal from the bulk bins.

Start making more things from scratch.Get her involved in finding recipes for yummy quick breads, cookies, or healthy bars. Then she can help you bake and keep the pantry stocked.
Breakfast ideas: Bake healthy breakfast muffins in big batches, freeze them, and thaw/reheat each morning instead of expensive cereals. Or make a 9x11 egg bake on Sunday (1 dozen eggs $1.79, 1/2 pack of the $1 heat/serve sausages, grated potatoes, and spinach). Then reheat a chunk each morning.

Start shopping the local farmer's market on Saturday mornings and planning menus around fresh, in season (which means less expensive) ingredients. We eat vegetarian meals every other day now to save money. Asian food stores are also a great place to buy inexpensive fresh ingredients.

At 11, she can start thinking of ways to earn a few bucks around the neighborhood like weed gardens or walk someone's dog or pet sit. Tell her she can pay the difference for a few of her favorite snacks each week.

Good luck! Change is hard for everyone but especially kids.

I do understand the other Mom's idea of faking her out...and that might be a way to go...?

And I totally get how some people can totally tell different brands, I myself am a TOTAL water snob...and my oldest child will only eat generic mac n' cheese, he actually thinks 'The Blue Box' is gross!!------>This was and still is a complete shocker for me, as a kid I HATED generic mac n' cheese (still do) and coveted 'The Blue Box'!

So I can sympathize with your daughter....however....

~If she were mine though we would be having a talk about how sometimes in life we have to improvise, adapt and overcome. And how money is tight for lots of people right now and how you have to do what you have to do to keep food on the table....and last but definitely NOT LEAST how some kids/people are WAY worse off and have REAL problems....I think at 11y/o she should be old enough to process this enough to stop giving you grief about it.

I think I would tell her that it's Aldi brand cereal or oatmeal - take her pick.

She will start eating what you buy when she finally "gets" that you aren't going back to the more expensive brands.

I think that at some point, mom, that you're going to have to lay it on the line with her that this is hard on you and your husband too, and you are tired of her complaints. I know you're trying to be understanding, but there comes a point that you have to put your foot down.

Honestly, I think you'll be shooting yourself in the foot if you pretend to be buying the store brand cereals. If she finds out (sees a box or reads a receipt or someone tells her), she will just be livid with you.

Perhaps she needs to help with the cooking, since she doesn't want to look at the shopping list or budget for it. It's time for her to start learning her way around the kitchen anyway, isn't it?

Good luck, Mom. Try not to let it get you down...

Dawn

Age 11? She would eat or not eat. No fight. Plain and simple.

You could do what my mom did....and I NEVER KNEW!! Neither did any of my brothers.
I have 4 younger brothers. YOu can imagine how tight grocery shopping was for my mom every week! My brothers and I would complain that she was getting nasty milk (we liked 2% and she was buying 1%), that the crackers were gross, that the cereal was bad...blah blah blah. So, she faked us out! SHe would buy the stuff she normally buys and put it in the box of the good stuff!! She would pour the milk into the "good" container.
So, maybe one week you could buy the "good" stuff and then the weeks after put the store bought stuff in the containers. She will probably never know.
L.
Funny! Everyone else said to do it too! BUT DON"T TELL HER!!!

I have not read the other responses, but I know for a fact that no one feels good, in our home, after eating cheap cereals like you have listed. I do not serve Frosted Flakes nor Rice Krispies at breakfast. Junk cereals are only a snack, never a meal. We would all feel like horrible from the lack of nutrients followed by the blood sugar drop after eating such nutrient poor food.

To me, your daughter sounds hungry and addicted to her cheap food choices for a quick fix.

Please add more protein to her diet to sustain her, like peanut butter, make your own sausages from ground pork which is cheaper than buying. Roast a couple of chickens, put potatoes in the oven. Make hash browns. Potatoes and rice are cheap and healthy. Even when I was poor I never bought the kinds of cereals you list or potato chips. Plain and simple, they aren't healthy choices and she's probably craving real food because she's growing. You and your husband are not growing and maturing and need the nutrients as much as she does.

My tips to anyone shopping on a budget is to purchase real meats, nothing processed, real potatoes, rice in bulk, beans, seasonal veggies and fruits and whole milk.

GL!

Post Edit** I just read some of your other posts and I am wondering if the same daughter you have in Gymnastics is the same daughter complaining about the food choices? There is NO way I would feed athletic children, who have extra protein, calorie and nutritional needs, the kinds of cereal you list. Please C., for a healthy future, switch your dietary choices.

The next time you have to go grocery shopping, leave her home. She's old enough to stay home if she's being a pain in the tush about this.

I grew up eating a lot of food that came in black and white wrappers and drank a lot of powdered milk. Sometimes, it sucked, but we all knew that things were tight. I worked in the cafeteria for free lunch for a few years, so I knew we were poor, and that I shouldn't complain if I got pb&j for dinner after the hot lunch because that was what we could afford.

If it were me, personally, I would address this in a few ways. You could offer that if she wants to buy the name brand food for herself, with her allowance (if she has one) that she's welcome to be the person to eat it all. You don't have the luxury of brand-name food, but if she wants to spend HER money on it, so be it.

If she doesn't have an allowance, let her choose how she wants to spend $10 a month on the foods of her choice. This will put her in an empathetic position of learning to budget and having to make choices.

She's also old enough to go down to the food bank with you to volunteer. Perhaps a small dose of reality might be helpful.

Also, read the article someone just posted a few questions back, about whining. There is a certain 'status' to name-brand foods. I will warn that it is very difficult to talk a youngster out of what they think is the 'best' or what they want to 'fit in', and I too went through some hard times when we couldn't afford a few items I thought I would die without. However, I'm happy to report that I did make it through life without those buckle-back jeans I so desperately wanted.

Sorry you are going through such a hard time with this. Hang in there and remember, the hard times can teach us a lot. Hopefully, she will learn to be very grateful for what she has. Maybe there are ways to help her focus on her blessings this season. Here's one you might like to do as a family:

http://www.shelterness.com/20-cool-thanksgiving-trees-you...

We will do this with our son; my sister did it with her three boys. Write a 'thank you' on a leaf each day and put it on the tree. Awesome, and keeps us focused on our blessings.

This hard time, too, shall pass.

I think there is a bigger issue here that is manifesting itself - stress. Does she know money is tight and that's why your are buying the generic? If so, it's likely she's more concerned about the bigger issue (money being tight) and it's manifesting itself throught the obvious signs. She wants things to be back to normal - when she had the regular frosted flakes - because she is uncomfortable with the situation. This would also explain her reluctance to be involved with the shopping and buget.

IF this is really what's going on, then I suggest doing what others suggested - refilling the 'regular' packages with the generic. She needs her comfort zone. Be very, very careful she doesn't find out what you are doing because this could create some real trust issues. The instinct will be, 2 weeks in, to say "hey, do you realize you've been eating the generic for 2 weeks and didn't notice the difference?" Resist it. At the end of the day, she is a kid, not an adult. They cannot be expected to be as sophisticated in their thought process or reasoning as adults. Maybe 10 years down the road when she is in college and is buying the generics you could tell her!

Good luck!

You could do the switcheroo, but then that is playing into her drama.

She is used to things a certain way and she is struggling. That's normal, but like you said, if she is hungry, she will eat it. Plain and simple.

I really think she's acting out in response to your and your husband's stress level. 11 year-olds have such limited power to change a situation, and can lack the maturity to express how they are feeling without our help, so they act out in ways they can control. She doesn't just want the old cereal back, she wants your old life back where you aren't counting the cost of each grocery item and having the stressful conversations that she overhears about how tight money is right now.

"I don't want to DO this anymore!" is a very telling statement. This is not about food brands, the food complaints are a side-effect of what's going on with her. She knows she's making you angry, but then she's got your attention. I think she needs a bit more attention right now.

I would recommend giving her more opportunities to talk, and you to listen. Don't try to make it all better, just make sure she is heard. Kids need to be reassured that their parents have things under control or they can feel so out of control and lost. Once you have heard her, there may be a time that you can ask her to think of ways to help, with saving money, to help her feel some control.

Put everything into plastic storage tubs and toss out the boxes so she never sees the brands. We started doing that in our pantry because it kept things fresher and so half empty boxes of cereal didn't get knocked over and dumped all over the floor.
We often dump in the new box with whatever is left from the old one if it is the "same" cereal unless it is super different from store to store, which is rare.
It sounds like there is adjusting to the new budget in other areas and food is where she's taking it out.

She is old enough to sit down and have an honest talk about money and budgeting, and how there are some things that are outside of hers and your control/hard times come to all of us. Sit down and have a family meeting (get DH on the same page before the meeting, so he can play a support role). Talk about the changes, and let her express her feelings--don't judge, just listen. Then, ask her to help come up with some solutions or ways to make it feel a little less restrictive/depriving of a situation. Some options might be: give her $3 or $5 that she can spend every 2 weeks, on whatever splurge food thing she wants, or have the family sit down together and with $5 or $7 every 2 weeks (or whatever amount makes sense to you), figure out a splurge item for the family to enjoy together (might be that Edy's super-awesome favorite ice cream or fav. type of name brand chips, or etc.). Have her go grocery shopping with you, and have her be in charge of the calculator---give her the starting amount of money, and have her do 2 lists, one with the generic and one with the name brand as you go through the store and put items in the shopping cart. At the end of it, she should be able to tangibly see that the $ goes less far when buying the name brands.

When I was about 14, as one of our requirements for a class (had to do with matth/budgeting), I went grocery shopping with my mom, and it really opened my eyes. My mom, at her best, saved $100 in groceries using coupons. That was a huge deal, when she was feeding family of 7, including 3 hungry teen boys in house! Before seeing her do that, and pay attention to it, I never really realized how hard my mom worked and how much she helped our family save money.

Plan on involving her in the cooking process, as one option: lots of things that we love to eat are cheaper if we make it ourselves. So, come up with a list of things that you want to experiment with to try to find make-at-home copycat recipes. Whether it's cheesecake or Chipotle chicken burritos, there are literally 1,000s or copycat recipes out there to try. The results are not always perfect, and some recipes you'll keep and some you'll toss, but make it a challenge and an adventure.

If you haven't already, start buying in bulk; you don't need a Costco or Sam's Club membership for it--check to see if you have Gordon Food Services (GFS) near you--example: you can buy pasta sauce in the giant can (6lb, 10 oz) for $4. And for rice & beans and lentils, check your local ethnic food stores---if you have any Indian or HIspanic or Asian groceries stores around, you can buy bulk rice and beans and other items often a lot more cheaply there.

I also recommend The Tightwad Gazette for other great ideas for frugality/penny pinching.

Ugh. Sorry to hear you're going through this. Frustrating, isn't it? You are working so hard to stay within your budget, and all you hear is complaining from your daughter.

We didn't have much money when I was growing up, and I was thoroughly embarrassed that we had to buy all generic foods. I was so thankful that I ate hot lunch at school so that I wouldn't have to pack generic soda and sandwich bags of generic brand cookies or chips.

Looking back, I feel so stupid for putting so much value on name brand food. It really doesn't taste any better than generic. I just felt like it was further confirmation that we were poor. I thought it was already bad enough that I didn't get any name brand clothes. But having a pantry filled with plain white cans and boxes of food just made me feel poor.

I wonder if this is how your daughter is feeling. It is not your fault. It is just the age where girls are self-conscious about their economic status.

Keep buying whatever is best for your budget. Your daughter will eat when she is hungry. In the meantime, keep an eye out for your local grocery fliers. A couple months ago, I got Rice Krispies for $1.50/box (and saved even more with coupons) at Garden Fresh Market, and I recently got Cheerios and Cocoa Puffs for $1.50 (before coupons!) at Dominicks. Aldi has good prices, but if you have the time to go to all the other stores for their loss leaders, you can get name brand groceries for even less. Good luck to you!

you're under a lot of stress and some of it is unnecessary. she's 11, not 4. she is perfectly capable of understanding that money is a little tight right now and we don't always get to buy all the expensive "good" food. (any kind of chips is always the first thing to go on our list, she should be lucky you're getting her even the generic chips at this point).

honestly, i know you're stressed out and you're trying to make everyone happy- just stop. tell her that she is no longer allowed to complain about the menu or the brand or the selection. next time she does it, send her to her room. honestly. you may think it's harsh but who pays the bills? who earns the money? it's NOT her.

trust me. i put together 2 weeks worth of dinners on $50 and what we had in the pantry the other day. and then my husband lost his job 2 days later. i KNOW where you're coming from.

at some point you have to put your foot down mama. you are literally doing ALL you can to put food on the table. i would not keep trying to cater to her - OR feel guilty about it. she is old enough to understand that you don't always get what you want. i'm irritated at her for you lol. if my son did that he'd hear real quick what i thought of his opinion. "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." period. she needs to stop making your life more difficult. hang in there. (she doesn't need to be involved. at this point she's being ungrateful and acting like a brat. just stop allowing it. you don't have to be nice about it at this point.)

(fwiw, the fact that you say you don't make it a battle, if they don't like it, you find something else, makes me think that yes, you do make it a battle, and you let them win. not making it a battle means you take what you're given. if you don't like it, you don't eat. guess what. they always eat eventually. you've really given her a LOT of control about food, it sounds like to me. i could be way off base. but honestly. we eat to live. it's not about name brands, sometimes it's not even about what tastes better. it's about getting sustenance.)

If budgeting is not her cup of tea try tapping into the right side of the brain.
Creativity. Find sites with low cost meals and $10 dinners and such and envolve her in meal prep and cooking. It's about time she prepares dinner once a week. Make it a game of who can prepare the most tasty cheapest meal. How many different ways can you change those leftovers into something new? What can she make with those frosted flakes she hates?
My youngest sure made me roll my eyes a lot too with the guilt. He is still not a good eater, unfortunately! I have been changing things to healthier alternatives and trying new recipes. Occasionally he will balk. I have learned not to react just shrug. He won't starve. Neither will your daughter. You go mom!! It's a thankless job sometimes.

I've been going through something similar with my daughter. She is an absolute sugar junkie. I swear to God ice cream is like crack to her! Anyhoo, I have QUIT keeping sugar in the house (cookies and ice cream were the main culprits, we rarely have candy.) From now on ice cream is something we go out for, a special treat, and we only have cookies if we bake some (which is fairly rare.) I bought some DELICIOUS somewhat healthy Kashi bars (dark chocolate, coconut, super yummy) plus a few other "alternatives" and for two weeks (at least) she bitched, moaned, complained there's "nothing for dessert!"
Guess who loves those dark chocolate Kashi bars now? Yep, SHE does!
It takes time mama, and it's not pleasant, but is it ever really pleasant to tell our kids no? Of course not. Especially when they are used to having what they want, when they want it.
I'm not sure why it makes you feel like you want to cry (?) You're being a good mom, and being responsible. Your daughter is a child, and frankly she sounds a bit spoiled, I think a reality check is in order. If she's making YOU feel bad then there's clearly a imbalance of power in the parent child relationship. Nip that in the bud, NOW!

You've received some excellent advice :)

One thing that I wanted to make sure you know is that many items in "generic" or store brand labels are name brand items packaged at the name brand plant in the generic/store brand labels. Store chains have done this for many years. Growing up we ate lots of generic "plain wrap" items and I noticed many tasted the same, as I got older I met people who worked in plants and told me of bagging the brand name chips or whatever item in brand name bags and then using the same machines to bag in plain wrap items, etc.

As a gramma on a limited budget raising a 3 year old I have to be frugal in everything. What I learned from my parents growing up and on my own stayed with me and the fridge, freezer and pantry are filled with tasty food, mainly generic.

Hang in there, with the suggestions you've received it should all work out...it has to!!

Have you tried just saving an old Frosted Flakes box and putting the generic flakes into it?
And you can also keep a few apples on hand so when she says 'there's nothing to eat' hand her an apple.
You might want to take her to volunteer at a soup kitchen (you volunteer with her) so she can see people who REALLY have nothing to eat.

Yes ! Buy the generic cereal and put it in a container. Do not let her know this is taking place. When the brand name cereal goes on sale, buy it, and tell her to fill the container. Then go back to the generic and get rid of the box. Do what u must !

The economy stinks ! I hope it gets better for all of us !

I agree with not taking her shopping. Not worth the fight. With generics, it's all about the presentation. The boxes and containers are ugly. They just aren't appealing. Some generic foods really aren't as tasty. Some taste exactly the same as name brands, and a rare few are actually better. It takes awhile to learn what's good and what isn't. Keep buying the generics, but try storing the food in other containers if you can. I'm not sure I would go so far as to fill up name brand boxes with generic foods, but I sure would try to hide the ugly labels. Shopping at Farmers Markets is a great idea. Also, you can start making cookies and treats from scratch. Get creative. Do things like putting food coloring and/or pumpkin spice in pancakes for breakfast. Add some more Italian seasoning to the generic spaghetti sauces. Make some nachos with generic chips and cheese and such. Don't be too hard on her. Remember, this was what she was used to before things changed. And she is only seeing it from an 11 year old developmental level. Haven't we all been there with food cravings? If she has a few favorite name brand foods, look for coupons and sales and treat her every once in awhile. I do "Free Treat Friday" with my youngest as incentive for riding her bike or walking with me to her school each day. It makes the once a week tradition something for her to look forward to and she doesn't plead every day for us to stop for a hot cocoa before school or a shake after school. If you can't afford all the name brands all the time, let DD pick one favorite each week or whatever, if you can.

She's probably revolting in general. I assume there have been other cut backs other than just in the grocery department? If there haven't been, maybe you could offer her a choice. Offer her to stop doing whatever activity she really enjoys to pay for the name brands she wants. I don't know if that would work or not (she may pick the name brands, who knows) but she might gain a better grasp of the money being tight all around, it just so happens to be easier to cut back in the grocery area than some others.

This reminds me of a story my mom told me regarding my love of Red Cheek Apple Juice.

Tired of its cost, she simply saved a bottle and poured in the generic stuff.

This must be a trying time. I am in the same boat only my daughter isn't old enough to decipher.

She will learn an excellent lesson about budgeting from this. It might not sink in now, but later when she is doing her own shopping. She may even thank you one day.

Hunger is a great motivator. She will eventually "settle" for the generic stuff.

I actually think some of the generic stuff is better! Love Archer Farm's from Target!

I was going to suggest Laura's suggestion, also!

Go ahead one week and buy the REAL frosted flakes...... and also buy one of the "cheap" ones...... and as she eats them, secretly start adding some of the cheap ones to the box, and eventually you will have just all the cheap ones. (Hide the box of cheap ones so she doesn't get the idea that you are doing anything.)

And... stick to your guns... she doesn't run the house, YOU do. She really won't starve..... she may grump around a bit because of the menu changes, but it will get better.

you might want to do a taste testing party for your family. Put the generic products up against the brand name and everyone votes on which they like better or if they are both equally good. After all the votes are in reveal everyone's choices. The ones that everyone (or just her, lol) voted generic on you keep doing generic, the others you do less often but name brand. She can make the choice basically - generic frosted flakes every other week or name brand every 3rd week.

We had to scale back on money too, and our older daughter was 11 at the time. We felt it was a good lesson and she learned about price per ounce and how to determine needs vs wants. At 11 your daughter can be in charge of shopping once. Give her the hundred bucks and tell her this is your list, you must buy everything on this list then whatever is left you can buy what you want. Let her know you will take her to any 2 stores she wants. Then let her do it. The worse that happens is you have a week of little food and you eat from your pantry and freezer. Either way it's a very important lesson for her to learn. She is old enough, even our then 8 yr old figured it out pretty quick.

Yes, changes are hard, but they are also part of life. She doesn't have a choice but to deal with it just like you. Maybe suggest she find a job walking dogs, housesitting, mowing lawns, etc. to have the money to purchase her brand name stuff. When I was a kid that is what I had to do.

I put the cereal on top of the pantry in the clear plastic Rubbermaid containers. When I get a new box it is in the pantry until the other container is empty. Then I refill it. That way the cereal in the bottom stays fresher.

I can honestly say that Aldi's brands taste really bad to me but I buy Walmart stuff all the time and that's what the kids like. She'll get used to it. Maybe it's too much change all at once. But tell her if she wants cereal this is it. The other stuff is just too expensive.

One other option is that if she can earn any money, like doing chores for other people, helping someone out....then she can use that money to buy her own snacks that she can put her name on.

What about allowing her 1 brand item per week that she chooses? Everything cheap but one item (ie. cereal or oatmeal) that she chooses and finds a coupon for herself. That will give her control of the situation. At this age my mom let me know I was old enough to clean my grandma and aunt's homes for money. Not sure if you have family that need help, but you could even ask elderly neighbors. I could use that money for my own "treats".
Plus- If you are on a budget, cereal is a really expensive breakfast option per serving. Making pancakes from scratch (betty crocker recipe) is pennies per serving. I'm not on a budget, just cheap and I eat 2 eggs and toast for breakfast. Cereal is just a waste of money and not super nutrient dense. Price it out per serving for yourself and her.

My kids and hubby swear there is a difference between Food Lion Raisin Bran and Kelloggs. Yes there is a slight difference, but to me the $2-3 difference is what counts.

For me there are certain foods that its not worth the battle over. I have found that Walmart and sometimes Target have the best price on Raisin Bran. Sometimes CVS and RiteAid. This week RiteAid has it for about half price, so I'll stop by and grab a box.

As for her 'not wanting to do this anymore', join the club! No one wants to pinch pennies. No one WANTS to choose less. One thing that was an eye opener for my kid was the shopping test. He is 11 also. We went to the store and picked up 6 - 10 things. The brand I wanted went into the cart, and the price written down on a piece of paper. The price for the brand HE wanted was written down next to my item. After we had the 10 items we added up the totals. His total was $6 more than mine. Six dollars may not seem like a lot until you put it in perspective.
Here, $6 will buy you:
1 loaf of bread, 1 gallon of milk
6 small yogurts (3 boxes of gogurt!)
1 loaf of bread, 1 pack of cheese and 1 bottle of mayo
1 container of Tide on sale.
1 large popcorn at the movies ...

Is there a way to give her some money each week, say $5 where she is able to buy food that she wants?

Yep, swap out the boxes or mix it in a little.

I know what you mean.
She'll get over it with time. It's kinda like an addition. Just keep hanging in there.

She's old enough to start understanding the cost of things and that there is so much money and it has to go so far. You may want to have her sit down with paper and have her add up the family's expenses. Just do it nicely and dictate the list and have her write - house payement 900.00, phone bill, etc. Maybe she'll get it.

After reading the SWH, I also don't think this is completely about the food. She's just starting to really see "life" and it's not pretty. She may be a bit worried about the family's finances since so many things have changed. Just give her some time to come around.

When hubby and I first got together, I was a single mom and bought all store brand groceries. I just could not afford the name brand. Hubby hated it and over the years got me buying name brands. Well, we are also struggling so now he's right on board with the store/off brands and has actually found that he likes some of the stuff. For example, our dollar store has an off brand of hamburger helper meals. They are DELICIOUS. And when I make that for dinner, I can feed five people for under $10!

She'll come around and if she doesn't, she'll starve. It's really her choice.

P.S. You could suggest to her that she can find a way to earn her own money and buy her own name-brand items if it's that important to her!

It may be that part of her is embarrassed not to be eating the "cool food" her friends have. If she takes a lunch, I would talk to her about how to budget for the food she wants. Teach her to save her own money, to coupon, to forgo other things so she can have non-generic food.

Be matter of fact about it. If she throws an 11 yr old toddler type fit, then ignore her. If she doesn't want to "do it" then she doesn't get the option. I have no patience for that kind of behavior, be it a 4 yr old or a 14 yr old. Even though we could afford what the kids wanted, we still laid out what we would or would not buy and gave them the option to use their own money where appropriate.

With an 11 yr old, I wouldn't trick her. I'd just stop buying her the cereal at all if she won't eat it (unless you like it). You don't want it and you don't want to pay for something else or coupon or help? Then I guess you don't really want the fancy brand as much as you say you do. It's a tough lesson sometimes to find out that not everything grows on trees.

The other thing we told the kids was that they will always have the basics to the best of our abilities - food, clothes, housing. It's the extras like dining out or more channels on TV or getting a car when they graduate that we may not be able to afford, because you have to prioritize needs over wants. If you think this is also about insecurity over the financial situation, reassure her that her true needs will be met, but that you all have to work with fewer wants (or fewer instant gratification moments). It can be hard to not get everything you want. I'd find a way to help her learn to appreciate what she does have, and some of that comes with being around more people and seeing that she has it pretty good.

And sometimes you just have to say, "We work hard for the money we have, I work hard to get what I can with a tight budget and when you open the fridge and complain about the contents, that's just rude. Either knock it off or (insert whatever consequence you use for perpetual rudeness)." When my DD doesn't want the dinner served, she can say "no, thank you" but she is not permitted to say, "EW! Yuck!" because that is rude to the cook.

Put the new items in the old boxes of cereal and have her try that way...when she doesn't notice the difference it won't be an issue anymore.