Daughter Having Anxiety Attacks?

If she does not know anyone who this happened to and has no reason for trauma, then really this is not normal. She is obsessing over it and behaving in an alarming way - crying uncontrollably over something that she doesn't know anyone who's gone through it. This isn't a minor thing. It bothers her that people do this to themselves, but she doesn't know anyone who has. I would have her evaluated by a mental health professional, because this is NOT normal behavior.

Try to treat depression and anxiety on all fronts:
1.therapy for the thinking mind
2.exercise, nutrition and supplements from a certified nutritionist to increase low neurotransmitters like dopamine and seratonin
3. stress relief for the body to calm the parasympathetic nervous system through massage, yoga, reiki, or cranial sacral therapy
4. ask her doctor to test for a retained moro reflex which can result in anxiety, then find an occupational therapist trained in this to overcome it.

I wish the very best for your family. With implementing the above tacktics, you do not have to feel powerless, and neither does she.

Please don't let anyone talk you into an antidepressant. I know of one 16 year old who took some because of anxiety, and planned her suicide. It frightened her so much she hid behind her bed until her mom found her so that she wouldn't carry it out. She now uses EFT (tapping) to control her anxiety at age 22.

I agree with Catherine. I don't think you have the tools to help her through this, but as her loving mom, you do have the tools to find the expert to help her. Please take her to see a child psychologist or a pediatric psychiatrist.

If you're not sure where to start, make an appointment with or at the very least call her pediatrician TODAY to get a referral for a mental health professional that can help her.

Taking her to see a mental health professional does NOT mean that you are failing as a parent or a mom---Instead, it means you are being a smart parent to understand that she needs help and that the experts are the ones with tools that can help her through this, with your continued loving support.

Hugs to both of you....!

take her to see a counselor sooner rather than later. My now 14 yr old dealt with some serious issues that I didn't take her to a counselor for - until 3 years later when she was in such a deep pit that it's taken a while to get her out. Unfortunately it's tough to find pediatric counselors - and if you're in an HMO you may find that the network counsleors and not good at all. We ended up spending a lot of our own money to get her to a good counselor who has worked wonders. At age 9 your daughter will probably want you to sit in on the counseling session. that's good - you can use your own judgement and gut feeling to determine if the counselor is good. Some have ideas and world views that will be very different than yours - do not take your precious treasure of a child to someone who looks at the world differently than you do. For us we wanted to find someone who shared the view that there is a God who cares intimately about you and wants the best for you. Having someone speak these truths in to my daughters heart & mind was of primary importance.

Although the school counselors are not bad - we'be met some great ones over the years - you'd really be best served finding one outside of the system. Their ultimate goals will be different than yours as you're looking for your child's look term health - and they work for the school district so they're looking much shorter term - and they are generally overwhelmed as it is.

Depression comes in all sizes and varieities - there can be brief bouts - where the brain chemicals are off kilter for a few weeks. This is a different world than the one we grew up in. At age 9 I don't think I even knew what suicide was - but we're raising kids in a more scary, less secure world. Be sure to let her know that you love her dearly and that no matter what you're doing or how busy you may be or how crazy your schedule that you will always be three and you'll stay up all night with her if that's what she needs, etc. It will give her a sense of security that she may really need at a time like this.

And pray. I truly believe that God cares about the details of our lives. Jeremiah 29:11 says " I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you a hope and a future." Ask that God gives you discernment about her heart and mind. Ask that God would show himself to you and to your child and that she would feel his peace.

Finally consider that there may be a child at school who is dealing with a tough issue and is bringing the emotional baggage to school and somehow influencing your child's thoughts. Have a talk with the teacher to find out if she's sitting near someone or spending time with another child whose going through a tough time. Kids pick up on other's problems and they don't even realize it. Knowing what you're dealing with can help tremendously.

Bottom line - it's so worth your time and money to invest in your daughter's heart and mind right now. We realized that counsleing was going ta cost us a small fortune - but we decided without hesitation - that our child's mental helath is more valuable than a new TV or a nicer car. You can't allow her to have these worries and concerns without helping her address them and change her thinking. We're just not equipped to deal with this stuff - unless we have a psych degree. Thankfully your daughter knows she can come to you and talk about this stuff - it's scary for her and she wants the security that only her parents can provide. You'll be her rock - and get through this and look back so glad that you took action to help her through this time.

This parenting stuff is way more difficult than I ever imagined!!!!

Another great place to go for a therapist suggestion is her school. I also think that it's important that they know what is going on. Perhaps there is an underlying issue at school that you don't know about.

Good luck - i'm sure that with some good therapy, things will improve.

The therapist is best qualified to help her. If he is able to prescribe meds, she may benefit from a short time on anti-anxiety meds. Otherwise talk to her pediatrician as well. I would also talk to the school, either counselor, principal, etc. to find out if they have any kind of group meeting to help her. Our school has a group for kids of divorced parents, but I am not sure if there is help for suicide survivors. You did not say if someone she knows committed suicide, or perhaps she saw a movie too mature for her, or read a book about it? Sometimes it is not obvious what the trigger was, but you seem to doing the right thing with having her talk to a therapist. You can also talk openly to her that people do not just commit suicide on the spur of the moment, but that they are sad for a long time, and if she is ever sad for to make sure she talks to you or a friend about it, because suicide can be prevented by talking about sadness. Maybe even let her know the number 1-800-273 TALK National Suicide Prevention Hotline
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or google suicide prevention and there are many sites with advise how to help. Talk about depression and whether it runs in your family. If she cannot sleep alone, maybe allow her to sleep in a room with you or a sibling so she does not wake up in the middle of the night alone. You may also want to give her a "mental health day" and allow her to stay home with you to have a day of relaxation and fun. Maybe schedule a manicure or take her to a favorite restaurant for lunch. She needs you to be strong and support her right now.

You may need to accept the idea of medication, at least temporarily. Anxiety can be based on a chemical imbalance. It sounds to me like she is in real danger of self-harm. It's great that you are taking her to a therapist, make sure they take this very, very seriously.

Hi T.,

Can I ask if you're daughter is on any kind of medication? Sometimes something that seems innocuous is really dangerous. I had a friend whose daughter was having anxiety and suicidal thought and the doctors linked it to the overabundance of diet sodas (nutrisweet) she was drinking. Any synthetic chemical can cause anxiety in the right combination with another one. Even in fast foods there are chemicals that can contraindicate.

If your house is detoxed and she eats fairly well (no processed foods) then theraphy might be an option but sometimes a stimuli is right in front of our faces and we don't see it. Nine year olds are very passionate and also are still thinking in black and white. This will change over time however your critical point is now. It could be one or the other or a combination of both. Life is a lot more complicated now than it ever has been.

Wish there was an easy answer.......you're in my thoughts and prayers.

M.

Seek out medical help for her. Ask your daughter's pediatrician for a referral to a therapist within your health plan. A therapist can help your daughter work through these fears. When it's greatly affecting daily life, it's time to pursue medical help.