Daughter Gets So Upset About Brushing, She Nearly Throws Up

Updated on May 20, 2009
C.N. asks from Denver, CO
10 answers

My little girl used to enjoy brushing her teeth. She didn't exactly love when it was Mommy's turn to complete the job, but she was pretty good about it. I think around the time her last two baby teeth came in(top molars), she began to dread brushing. I'm sure it hurt! She would let me brush all the different areas, but freaked out when I needed to brush the top back teeth. She doesn't seem to have any tooth pain at all; just hates brushing now. I read some advice on Mamasource last night about really taking the reins myself again and brushing her teeth for her even if I have to pin her down -- better than letting her get cavaties. I was very gentle about it tonight and explained calmly that she can brush her own teeth for a while, but then I have to finish for her. I gently brushed as she screamed and cried; pretty tramatic for both of us! She got herself so upset that she nearly threw up. I know she didn't gag from the brushing because she has gotten herself this worked up about different things before. I know my daughter; tomorrow will be even tougher and she will be terrified to brush now! I just don't know what to do -- I know she's got to have her teeth brushed to avoid a worse situation at the dentist's office. How do I proceed now? Thanks in advance for your advice!

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A.M.

answers from Denver on

That's crazy! The exact same thing happened with my daughter. Around the time her top back molars were coming in, she HATED to have her teeth brushed. She would kind of tolerate it until we brushed near those teeth and then she would freak out. We tried reasoning with her, pinning her down (awful), and then I got her a Hello Kitty battery operated toothbrush and some different toothpaste and slowly it started to fade. We still struggle a bit, but are able to get the job done without using force. Maybe try changing things up a bit and try to get her excited again.

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T.W.

answers from Pocatello on

Try getting an electric toothbrush. A good one with replaceable brushes, and rechargeable base.

She may be excited to use something new and different...trying it herself. I got one because it's so hard to brush well and long enough, and the electrics do so much more - faster and better than my hand wiggling. My kids love going to the dentist but I make them use the electric a couple times a week at least.

My kids are sometimes terrible about brushing their teeth at all, and the front teeth will turn yellow or orange at the gum line and be so gross. I brush for them when they haven't been doing it...whether they like it or not...no matter how old. (I have five of them, 10 through 2 years old).

Maybe you can offer a reward as well. Tell her about the reward first. Watch her brush her own teeth and then help if she isn't doing those back ones well, just help and let her keep the brush in her own hand. When she is done, give her some kind of reward and tell her how happy you are that she is learning to brush better.

Does she go for teeth cleanings to the dentist? Tell her if she cleans her teeth really good at home, then the dentist won't have so much work to do and she will be happy that she doesn't need fillings from getting cavities too.

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

My son did about the same thing when his molars came in. But I was pregnant, cranky, and DH (his dad) had been out of town for a week the night they finally came in so I was in no mood to fight with him and "laid down the law" and brushed them. I felt so bad when brushing was actually how they broke through and there was blood on the toothbrush. So, of course he did NOT want to have anything to do with brushing his teeth if it was me. Luckily, DH returned home the next day and took over tooth brush duty for a few days. And, in another stroke of luck my son's favorite TV show had a episode about brushing teeth that talked about cavities and making sure you got all the germs off your teeth.
Now, it's a struggle to get him to brush his own -- with the little sister here he wants to be babied a bit and has me brush them all the time.
So, have your husband take over for a few days and see if that improves things.
Good luck.

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J.J.

answers from Pueblo on

Check out the DVD at www.thedentaldiva.com your daughter would get see the behavior modeled on another child. There is also a section called "Barrington goes to the dentist" where she would see an actual dental visit from the eyes of an 8 year old. Shows proper brushing and flossing techniques for parents and answers most of your dental questions.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe you've already tried, but I'm a big fan of bribery! Not with sweets or anything, mind you, but big exciting things like "if you want to use the cup to rinse, you have to let Mama help brush your teeth". The kid really wants to use that cup like Daddy does! We also had a "tooth monster" that worked for a while. It's one of those monster finger puppets - the only thing I could find in our house with teeth. She used to love to brush the monster's teeth. (Not that my daughter's an angel with the tooth brushing - she's been driving me nuts the last week or so!)

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A.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Have you tried doing it together? You brush your teeth while she brushes hers, then you check each other's teeth. She get's to "touch up" yours then you touch up hers. That may help her to realize you're not doing this to torture her, it's just sometimes you need someone elses help to get the back ;) good luck

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J.F.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hi C.,
I know how frustrating and upsetting this can be--my daughter is less than thrilled about me brushing her teeth. Try "finding" animals and other little critters in her mouth as you go along: "oh, is this an antler stuck in your teeth? who could it belong to?! oh it's a moose!!! what's a moose doing in there? did you eat a moose? did you go to the zoo without me?!"
Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Pocatello on

I agree with the earlier comment to mix it up & have Dad brush for a while. My DH is way better at making those kinds of things fun. Creating some kind of game (or making up a song) out of it helps kids with a lot of stuff.
If that doesn't help, you might want to ask your dentist to talk to her about the sugar bugs & the damage they can do to teeth. For some reason, most kids listen to other grown ups better than Mom & Dad.....
There are also some videos out there that you might find. Bear in the Big Blue house had a great tootbrushing song - my kids saw something on Saturday morning cartoons about the sugar bugs with pick axes poking cavities into teeth - I'll bet Barney has something too - anything to take away the trauma of brushing......
Good Luck!!

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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

do you use an electric (okay battery operated but I don't know what else to call it lol) brush? I let my dd pick her own out and she loves using the electric one. we also made her a bedtime book which has what steps we are doing throughout the bedtime routine process so after pj's are on the next page is brush teeth, she knows what the steps are and we ask her, okay Pj's are on what comes next? Brushing teeth she says and since she is in "control" she is more excited about doing it. also helped for when it's time to get into bed!!
anther thought would be to maybe use some orajel or ambian on her back teeth before you brush if she's worried about the pain?
good luck.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

She should have seen a pediatric dentist by now, I know they are always sweet and friendly about talking to my kids on how important it is to brush. The earlier you get her to enjoy the dentist too the less anxiety it will cause later.
For my kids at that age, the battery powered toothbrushes worked wonders, they get more places, brush better and I could kind of just over see them doing it and help a little.
Be on top of it though, my daughter had really tight teeth close together and had seven cavities between her teeth by the age of 6!!! No joke, perfect teeth then I just didn't floss them daily and looked what happened to us, thankfully her cavities getting taken care of was not traumatic and both of my kids LOVE the dentist. Thankfully all between baby teeth and now she is great flossing and brushing twice a day.
Set a timer for her, for when it is your turn to take over, put up a chart for every night she does it well without a fit a smiley face and work with positive rewards for doing it well.
Also you can use the No sugar rule to her if she isn't going to brush then she cannot have juices or sweet treats. That will do more good then you can imagine, explaining if she does not keep the sugar off her teeth she will get cavities and if she won't let you brush then no sugar!

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