Daily Schedule

You could pepper the week with outings to the library and parks, rotating through the parks in the area....scavenger hunts outside... I am in a similar boat but with younger (3yr and 4 mo) and have been going for a walk along the river with them in the am, then either walking to a park or meeting up with friends for an am playdate. If you can afford it, a daycare playdate once or twice a week would give the kids great peer time and you some "me" time. Good luck!

My kids would like to watch tv all day too. I let them for a while each morning and then we turn it off. I either send them in the backyard to play, or I let them do their own thing. If they complain to me of being bored, I sometimes use my aunt's old trick. When her kids complained of being bored, she would tell them that she could find things for them to do, and then put them to work cleaning or doing other chores. They didn't often tell her they were bored. My kids have gotten pretty good at finding things to do that don't involve the television.

Wow, so many GOOD suggestions! I'll take some of that! I just wanted to mention the guilt/pressure to be a great mom seems huge, but it CAN be beaten. I myself am a recovering perfectionist. One thing I am learning is that some of my household "work" does not deserve as high a place on my priority list as it has had in the past. My daily life has slowed down a TON since I began practicing some side-by-side time with my girls (2.5 & 5.5). They're just learning to function & participate in caring for the home & each other. So I totally agree with all the suggestions about kids doing chores. I've had to change my mentality "if I want it done right/quickly, I have to do it myself", because the priority is that they learn, even if its harder on our busy schedules & sense of perfectionism in our homes. Plus they usually love it! I also cook & bake with my girls. Be a little messy & have fun. I'm totally learning this, too. I'm giving myself about 1 hour at night & in the morning when the kids are sleeping to "blitz-clean"/work on projects or just have mom time.
So, this is merely my story--if you work at home not much may apply! I once heard "a plan is only a good plan if its something you can stick to". God bless.

They only grow up once! In ten years or even five for the older one they will be super busy with their own activities.
Take them places and do things with them. I ran through the alleys of Chinatown with my daughters, let them take me over the rapids in an inner tube, slid down the big sliding pond with them.
My three year old got mornings in the park everyday. On Saturday morning before I went to work we went out down to the dock or over to a special place together while their Dad slept late.
Your clean house won't be remembered but your excursions will be.

L. Maggie

ooo ... I didn't want to be the first ...

I don't have any specific advice, I just wanted to encourage you that whatever changes you choose to make, the girls will fight them, and it will seem totally horrible, but they are used to a certain set of behaviors and if you change your behavior they will instinctively want what is familiar (comfortable) and will try every trick they can think of to test whether you are really insisting on a change (whether their definition of "Mommy" needs to change ... really, imagine how stressful that is for a child!)

so the first bit of time will be hard (read: nearly impossible ... our children know our buttons better than anyone!) ... but that doesn't mean you are making the wrong choices, nor that the choices won't be worth it in the end. The horrible part will be shorter according to how consistent you are (acting out is a question: are you for real? the faster they believe "yes," the less reason they have to act out).

Less time in front of a glowing screen is always a good idea ;) -- especially for kids!

They can **totally** figure out things to do, especially by that old. They know that if they ask you to do something, you will either do something with them or let them watch TV. Kids can totally handle the choice "you can be bored, or you can find something to do that doesn't damage the house," once they get the idea that entertainment isn't something that needs to be 'provided' (because it doesn't, despite all lot of the messages society tells us and them). You might have to install some consequences for acting-out in damaging ways, especially during the transition.

Not sure if everyone gets the same 'today's business' topics from Mamasource, but you might want to keep an eye on this discussion that came up today as well:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/10103420858044252161

--K. :).

It takes longer, but now is a good time to have your girls shadow you as you work around the house. You will have to lower your standards but it will pay off big time in a few years. If you let your daughters do housework with you now, they will think it is "fun" because it is what the big girls do, and they will enjoy it because they are spending time with you. Make it a game, we used to have a contest to see who ended up with the dirtiest dust rag after each room.

They probably will not have the stamina to clean the whole house with you so start out with them helping you and when they get bored, let them play barbies or a game together while you finish up on your own...but don't redo their work, OK?!

When the housework is done, you could tell them they have earned a half hour of TV for helping and let them watch in the afternoon while you cook dinner. I give my kids poker chips for each job completed which can be redeemed for a half hour of TV or computer time.

I used to also plan on doing one thing each day outside the house with my kids. This could be something fun like the park, or an errand like going to the grocery store. At least once or twice a week we would have a play date with friends.

There are many good books at the library with simple activities for children. Many require very little adult involvement. I always kept lots of craft supplies on hand so my kids could find something to keep busy without watching TV.

First of all turn off the tv so they can learn to entertain themselves without it; right now they are dependent on it. Watch the expressions on their faces the next time they are in front of it. There's not much brain activity going on there. Their brains need to wake up and learn to be creative and imaginative.

Next, give them plenty of chores to do. They should be making their own beds, straightening their rooms, picking up after themselves, cleaning their bathroom - all daily! Then they should have some other responsibilities around the house like dishes, floor care, dusting, setting the table, or whatever you want them to do.

Do they have bikes or scooters, a jungle gym outside or swingset to play on outside?

Next, turn off the guilt. You're doing what most parents do, but you can do better. I love reading John Rosemond, a parenting expert/author. He teaches parents how to do it, without guilt and tv. Check him out on www.rosemond.com. I get his books cheap off amazon, and love reading them. He is funny and interesting. His Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children is full of wisdom and ideas. Good luck!

Hi A.,
My kids are 5, 3 & 1. Our routine typically goes something like this...breakfast within 45 minutes of waking, get dressed, arts & crafts or playtime, snack, more playtime (game, blocks, etc) lunch, 1 movie for "resttime (can't call it nap time anymore :) ) When they wake up it's time for an afternoon snack, outside time if it's nice or a game of some sort and then it's nearly dinner time. We have baths after dinner, reading time and then bed by 8:30. Doesn't sound like much when you type it out, but it's always an eventful day. The TV is on for a cartoon in the morning before breakfast and a movie during rest time and that's it. Maybe your girls could read a book instead of the TV or give them some construction paper and make something (fan, paper airplane, card for someone).

:)

A.,

Your six year old especially, but both girls are old enough to help you with the chores around the house. My son is almost 5 and ***loves*** to help. My daughter is 16 months and likes helping too. Get them to help you with some of the smaller things. While you wash the dishes, have your 4 year old rinse them in the clean water, and your 6 year old dry them with a towel. That way they're all washed dried and possibly put away. With them helping the time will pass faster, you get some bonding time with both girls, the chores will be done faster, and the girls get a sense of self for being able to help mom.

The other thing to do is maybe let some of it go, and go play at a park for the morning. I'd rather have happy kids and a slightly messy house than a pristine house and couch potatoes.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

It's easy to fall into that mode... We got rid of cable at the beginning of summer and thought the boys would have difficult time adjusting. Instead, I'm seeing more creative play - more imagination. In the mornings after breakfast, I send them outside to play with the neighbor kids. I keep the windows open so I can hear them while I read my book or check my email. After lunch it's been too hot to have them go back outside and my younger daughter has a nap, so we have quiet time together. I have time to get a few chores done while the boys play a quiet game or color or do puzzles. I usually give them a few options. If it's a rainy day I'll let them pick a DVD to watch in the afternoon and we'll spend the morning playing indoor games instead. I also read to them without their sister climbing all over us, and I've been teaching the six year old how to read using "How to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons." Wow, this book is amazing... His confidence gets better and better each day - it's also nice to spend some one-on-one time with him while his younger brother has some independent time to make his own choices. (Usually my oldest decides what to play when they are together.) Best wishes to you and good luck!

We've all been there! Way too much to get done and the TV becomes babysitter :) But maybe not everything really "needs" to get done. Kids grow up super fast, and now is the perfect time to play with them (while they still want to hang out with you!... I know, I have a teenager!) So maybe spend some time with them out of the house each day. Your kids are the perfect age for little field trips: the zoo, the library, the park, the supermarket, etc...

And for the things that need doing, I would suggest either getting your kids to help out, (I used to put on music and make it game at how much could be picked up before the music was done) or trading off play dates with friends.

One last piece of advice: keep in mind that sharing is a good thing! Not all games played with your daughters have to be on their terms. You can share what you love with them too. It teaches compassion and patience on their part.

Good luck and just keep chanting: school is starting soon, school is starting soon!

Hello! I'm also a 40+ mom to two girls (I was 38 and 40 when I had them and they're 10 & 12 now...so you do the math!) :) One incredible thing we did for them is made homemade playdough and THAT would keep them occupied for hours-literally! Another idea is to purchase (or borrow from the library) books on tape so they can listen and do something to keep their brains engaged and learning plus hone up on their reading skills. I'm a home school mom and have lots of ideas...what about board games to play together? Arthur and Candy Land are great ones...not much reading - just depends on their reading levels. Good Luck and I'll be praying for you-let me know if these help and/or you need some more ideas! M.

This is very close to Tami S's request today. There are lots of places you can plan to go and many parks and beaches in this region to play and have picnics. I've seen families spend most of their days at some. They are at a great age for exploration - get them out and your schedule around that will fall into place and the days will fly! Play dates are also useful as long as you have people that reciprocate well with you :)
That said, many of us can relate to days that the TV is too much while trying to get things done around the house. It's easy to fall into frustration. We got rid of cable, which naturally makes things change :)

Be well,
Liz Brandegee
Classical Homeopath

Hi A.,

I was also a very busy Mom when my kids were growing up. I had times that were family time and then we had cupboards that had projects for them to do. It contained Playdo(sp), puzzles, crayolas,books and it changed with their ages. As our daughter got older she loved to make jewelry so we would make bead buying trips for her to choose new beads. It is very important that they are able to entertain themselves too.

Our son loved to invent things so we had odd and end things in a box for him. They would be old spoons,broken things that were safe for him to use.He would spend hours making new and wonderful things.

Art projects are wonderful. Older children love to glue and paste or create an album. You can be as involved as you would like to but be sure and allow them to use their emagination.I would hold and help do the gluing for my younger child so he could glue like his older sister. Baby wipes or wet wash rags were great to have on hand for sticky fingers.

When they were a little older they would spend an entire day writing a play and planning wardrobe to be put on for us after dinner. Girls love dress up have a trunk of dress up clothes for them. We took cardboard boxes and paint and crayons and made a kitchen. Later we were able to afford a play kitchen with little boxes of food.

We had a rule that everything was to be put away before another project was taken out. This was hard at first until they realized that after one reminder to put away and it did not happen it would disappear. I had a box where things would get put and get put in the can not play with cupboard. It would stay in that cupboard a little longer each time. Then they would get it back and we would talk about it. They got it and would put things away most of the time with only a few slips.

The girls can help you make meals. For lunch I would set out peanut butter and various toppings for them to make their own sandwiches. They loved to help clean up too as we made a game out of it and we all did it together. We did picnics and trips to the local park on nice days. They loved helping select what we would pack and packing.

Playtimes with friends are wonderful and give you some time. If your friends have children about the same age set up play dates and trade off on where it will be. Time to do you things( like a long bubble bath) Hire a girl to come in and play with the girls while you have you time. I felt wonderful and my husband noticed and loved it when I did the me time. I even took a nap one day and was a new and better Mom. Our entire family benefits as when Mom is happy everyone is. The kids have fun and so does Mom.

On rainy days we may go to the movie store and get a movie to curl up and watch with our popcorn

We had set times for naps or quiet time when they were older. They could sit and read a book or color. This was usually set at nap time if we had a little one who napped.

There are many more things that can be done but these are just a few. Hope it helps

Hi A.,

A few suggestions might work for you as it has for me. For starters, the more we constantly entertain with games or TV the more your children become dependant on you or the t.v. to entertain them. More than likely within a short amount of time and inevitable whining due to change, they will find creative ways to entertain themselves. You are doing them a favor by NOT entertaining them and not making t.v. an option. If you take t.v. out of th eequation or have a set amount of t.v. time that you stick to, you will assist them in using their brains. Also, you can engage them in your chores that will take abit longer, but there is so much bonding that goes on when you are working together even if it is only doing the dishes and laundry etc.

I hope my past experience will be helpful in your feeling less guilty and them becoming creative thinking indivuals.

Kind regards,
T. Nelson CD

We don't have a set schedule (I have a 5 1/2 yr. old son and a 5 week old daughter) but I just thought that I'd respond. I think no matter what we do, as moms I think we're just naturally prone to feeling guilty or like we're never doing enough for our kids. It's all apart of being a loving mom. We want what's best for our wee ones and we always think we can do more for them.

When I was pregnant I had a heart problem and I was also very sick and tired throughout the whole 9 months so I resorted to letting my son watch entirely too much tv during the day. I hate the tv but because I didn't have the energy (plus I had to take it easy because of my heart) I didn't want him to be bored so the tv was his entertainment. Now that I'm not preggers anymore the tv is rarely ever on and he's gone a little crazy not knowing what to do. I think it's very important to have some time during the day where the kids need to entertain themselves. It builds imagination skills, teaches them how to find stuff to do and all that good stuff. Other things we do now that I'm back to my old self is go for walks if it's nice, play basketball in the driveway (when Tatym's sleeping), paint, school work, he helps me cook meals and some other stuff. There's various things to do during the week if you feel up to it, story time at the library, public swim time at the pool, go to the Pottery Co...

I hope this helped a bit!! Don't beat yourself up too much! I wasn't entertained all the time as a child and I turned out good! :) We all survive!

Hi A. - I also have 6 and 4 year old daughters. I've been very blessed in that they play together so well throughout the day. I don't know if you have a yard or not, but mine are outside quite a bit of the day, even if it's rainy. They are allowed 30 minutes of computer time and 30 minutes of TV time each day. We set the stove timer so that it's actually enforced, because I'll get going on something around the house and forget about them. (It helps to have our TV in the basement because it's out of sight, out of mind down there. If it were in the living room I think I'd probably have it on a lot more during the day.)

We eat breakfast between 8 and 9, then they get dressed and we do hair. They usually take off playing on their own, but then start to "get bored" or come asking for snacks or something to do around 11. I always give them about 4 or 5 very specific things they can do - do your Dora puzzle, play Connect 4, play with PlayDoh, color - and tell them that they are choosing to be bored because they have so many toys and games they are ignoring!

They also like to help around the house, so I'll send them off with my little stick vacuum or a bucket of vinegar water and a rag to wash entryway walls or something like that.

After lunch, especially in the nice weather months, they are usually sent outside to the sandbox and kiddie pool, but they usually just end up finding a stick and playing something make-believe on the tree stump in the side yard anyway!

By letting them watch TV they aren't made to play, as all kids should, and they get lazy with their imaginations. At first you'll have to help them, but after a couple weeks I bet you'll notice that they are getting better at coming up with ideas of play on their own.

Good luck!