Daddy Is Gone Again

My husband got out of the military this past April after six years. I have made paper chains to count down days. Played recorded bed time stories that daddy made. Making care packages. I wouldn't try to keep him out of your bed in time that will be something he will look forward to that only happens when daddy is gone. Overall the recorded bedtime stories, prayers at meal time, songs we sing to him help the most. I know this time is soo very hard for you all and our prayers are with you. Thank you both for all you put up with for our country.

PS. my husband has 11 days left in his police academy.

My husband works in the oilfield.He is home for 7 days then leaves for 7 days.I have a 4 and 9 year old.They really don't like it when it's time for daddy to go back to work.They are cranky for the first day or two.What I do is show them the extra attention they yearn for.I read them a book,watch a movie together,make cookies.I even do some of the things my husband enjoys doing with them when he's home.You can't replace the love and attention of your husband but you can soften the blow a bit with some of these things.Try getting your older children more involved with activities your younger child likes at times he's feelin' down.Seeing them go on through their day ok then he too will learn it's ok.

well my boyfrind is not in the navy but when he is not home oure 5 yeard old is in my bed too. have u tryed to move him to his bed ounce he is a slep i move my son when he is a slep

You are going to have to offer reassurance. Your little guy probably is afraid that he will wake up and you will also be missing. If your hubby is already gone, then this part won't help, but for furture...

When my hubby goes off on a business trip I make a video recording of my hubby talking to the kids and reading them a story. I wait until 2 days after he is gone to show it to them the 1st time. It then becomes a favorite to watch over and over the entire time he is gone. The transition is smooth for all 3 kids.

In the meantime you can try telling him stories of what fun you all had together doing something. Be specific and ask him if he remembers. Ask if he has any favorite times to share. See if he wants to draw a picture of what he thinks his daddy is doing right now. Make sure you talk about him and assure your son that he will be home in a while. He is old enough that you could even make a calendar and put stickers on each day to count down when daddy comes home.

Also get a photo of his dad and even better one of him with his dad and laminate it and let him hang it by his bed or carry it around.

Good luck and I hope you and your little guy get good rest soon!

B. :)

Hi L.,

I was married to a military man (USMC) for 39+ years. During his military career he spent more time away from home than at home. Both of my daughters would get clingy when he would leave....they missed their Daddy also and felt more comfortable sleeping with me. I see nothing wrong with letting your son sleep with you if it makes him feel more secure. I would suggest that you ask Alex why he wants to sleep in your bed and find out if it is his insecurity about having his Daddy gone or if it is the overwhelming need for him to feel that he has to protect you. Even very young boys feel this need to protect.

Its good that your husband is going to be home more once this deployment is over. I think that the problem will take care of itself once that happens.

A little about me: I'm 65 yrs young, divorced after 39+ yrs and live alone, mother of 2 daughters, grandmother of 5 and Mommy to 6 dogs of all varying sizes and shapes. All of them, as I am also, are seniors. They range in age from 8 yrs to 21 yrs.

Get him a calendar. mark off the days until the deployment ends. Then he can see that dad will be back in just 42 more days.

This will help him learn the days of the week, months of the year and days of the month.

Have your husband write emails strictly for each of the kids. Have him talk about the things they like and type responses for the little ones that can't type.

There are places on PBSkids.org that children can send cards and stuff via email. Let him play on the computer and send his dad these things. Dad should close each letter stating, remember I'll be home in 4 weeks.

I wouldn't encourage him sleeping with you because if you husband happens to be working nights then your child could think that's perfect for bunking in with mom again. It's not a precedent you want to set while things are changing.

My husband is medically retired USMC, and now works for a cabinet company, installing out of town during the week. I have the same problem, but I let my boys, 3, and 5 sleep in my bed. Esp. since I work full time, it's about the only time that we get to spend together during the week. By the time I get home, get supper on, get through baths, etc, etc, it's bed time. The older one is starting to say he'll try sleeping in his own bed, so I think with time, the problem resolves itself, but for now, give them all the attention and reassurance you can. Just make it clear, that when dad's home, it's not an option, he'll understand that, and should be ok with it. ;) Good Luck!