Dad Keeps a Gun in the House

I think the bigger issue is that he did it without telling you and was hiding it. That would even make me question if it was a gun or even more hidden in the safe.

I think this is a big issue for the both of you. He clearly has a strong need to protect the family and you have a strong feeling of fear around the gun. while I share your opinion on the gun in the house, as an outsider, I think the fact that he bought it behind your back is the bigger issue. You may want to deal with that. If we can't trust each other that we are really a team in this, we are going to have lots of doubts and distrust later. The fact that we're talking about a gun stirs a pretty intense feeling. Good luck to you. That's a tough parenting/marriage moment!

I feel the same way about guns, but we do have 3 in the house. The agreement is that they are kept under lock. And the children are to NEVER know where they are.

A gun in the house would be a deal-breaker for me.
No matter if unloaded, locked and in a safe... it just takes one moment of human error and the unthinkable happens. How often are we doing something, get interrupted and forget to finish it - if that happens while he's cleaning his gun, and leaves it out "just for a second" to get the door... No one is immune to those things, and how often have you heard people say they just looked away for a second.
Apart from this, how is this gun possibly going to protect you if it is locked away in a mini safe? By the time he has it out of the drawer and unlocked and loaded, the burglar is done with your home.

And if reasoning will not help, maybe you should show him the article about the 3 year old little girl in Detroit, who shot herself in the head last weekend. I am sure her parents thought she could never find or get to the gun hidden in their bedroom.
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jXH_zXu5w5kYQFEsB98rPx...

I would not let this go.

I think that your fears are valid and real. And jugding from the great lengths your husband took to make sure that his gun is properly safe and hidden that he too believes in your childrens safety. Remember that part of gun safety is to educate as well. Be aware of the ways your children see weapons being used. Teach your children that guns are not toys, that they are for protection and for security. When you educate your children, they will know (hopefully) if they are at a friends house or away from you not to play with guns. My husband is very good about keeping his guns out of site, unloaded and locked. Together we will teach our children proper use at the proper age. I do however feel that your hubby should have told you there was a gun in the house. A gun in the can be safe, but it takes responsibility and work to make it that way.

Dear J.,
I understand your fears and I would never have wanted a gun in my home either...but that was before the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina.
In a disaster situation like that you would be so very glad that you had a weapon in your home to protect you and your family.
Take some gun safety classes and learn how to shoot. Keep it in the lock box but take the time to explain about guns to your children.
I hope your feeling of safety returns.
Light and Love,
C. Archer

I personally would be over the top mad. But i am very against guns. I found out unfortunately to late my husband will be inheriting a ton of guns which i will then turn around and sell to a gun shop. My father inlaw used to own a gun shop and i was not aware of this until after we were married. Anyways I would be very upset too with the fact that he went behind your back too do this. A gun should be an adult together decision i think. Could you see if he can return it? It hasnt been there long if you just found it i would think. There is just to much at risk for your kids especially because like you said a curious child will go to great lenghts to get what they want even in alocked gun safe. I dont mean to preach to yu about it but it is really scary. So i think you need to talk to yur spouse about it. if he doesnt see it your way maybe there could be a half way point to it in the middle. good luck and dont back down!!

I would feel more concerned about my husband going behind my back then I would about the gun in the house. That is a pretty major thing to go behind your back about. It sounds like it is being kept responsibly although it also sound like he wanted you to find it if the best place he could think to keep it is a sock drawer.
We too have a handgun in the house. It is also in a safe and locked as you describe. It is kept in a place our daugther wouldn't be able to get to. I don't have plans on talking to her about gun for a couple more years (she's 2) so we'll address it when the time comes. My husband had the gun prior to us meeting, it really hasn't ever been an issue for us.
I don't know that I really have any advice to offer, I hope that you can find some peace with the situation.

I'm in the same boat as you. My father-in-law is a huge gun fanatic and he bought my husband a gun for Christmas. I was not happy. I said I was ok with him having a gun, just not in the house. I found it one day in a drawer (luckily no children) I was so furious. He lied about it then made up some stupid excuse that he had "Told me about it." Yeah right!!! Like I would forget something like that. This almost broke up our relationship and I'm still not ok with it, but I agreed that he must lock in up in a gun safe and it must not be anywhere near us. My daughter is now 1 year old and as she gets older, I'm going to insist that it goes someplace where she can never get it and store bullets far away from that also. When she's a teenager I may ask the gun to be absolutely out of the house, but I'm not at this point yet. I think it is very rude that your husband didn't even tell you about it or ask about it. My husband didn't buy the gun but he feels that since his father bought it for him, then he needs to have it in our house. You two need to talk it out and both bring up your points. But if your husband is a stubborn guy like mine, you may need to compromise. This is a big deal though, it's come very close to splitting up our marriage and I can't promise that it isn't going to cause problems in the future so it is something that you need to talk about and resolve.

Hi J.,

I have had very personal experiences with guns, so I can say that I would not give up on this issue. Many own guns and die at the hands of them. This happened to one of my relatives. I have found that if you continually push it and cannot agree to a compromise, that could cause further issues.

I again would tend to agree with other posts that there is more to this issue. I would consider counseling or something, because it is very helpful to work through fears and anxieties which I believe cause people to buy and use weapons.

My thoughts on guns is they are a huge hindrance to this world. I do not agree with them, and I, like you, would feel less safe with one in the house. I think the only weapons we need are spiritual weapons, because when we seek guidance from God, he keeps us safe and away from danger. It is when we do things of our own accord without this, that problems like this can arise.

If it were our house, we would pray about the situation, and then see how God would lead. I do not know if you are a woman of faith, but even if you are not God will listen to you. :)I will keep your family in my prayers. :)

Blessings,

K.S.

I totally agree with you...NO guns or weapons!!!! I also have two kids under three, one is 2 1/2 and the other 9 months...I have been suicidal when i was a teenager and had an employer shoot himself in the head when i was working for him....ABSOLUTELY no weapons....ask him why does he have you living in such a bad area to the point that he needs a gun? That is the question...if you live in a fine area, screw the gun!!! Good Luck! M.

I can certainly understand your concerns, but it sounds like your husband is taking several precautions. There is a "male-thing" that we ladies don't often understand fully (I know I don't) when it comes to protecting their family. However, maybe it's just me, but the sock drawer doesn't seem like the best place despite all of the locks.

Good luck!