Custody Visition

No statute of limitations. All he has to do is have the court order a DNA test and he has rights. How many rights the court will grant him, who knows, they may only give him the right to pay child support. If you have been on public aid I am certain they will try to recover that against him.

Thing is we are not judges or lawyers, we do not know how the court will play out.

He is the child's father so he has he rights. There's not much chance he'll get any sort of custody, there is a good chance he'll get a scheduled visitation. I'd ask for it to be supervised so that your child can get to know him and have a chance to spend time together so your child will get comfortable with him.

Then he'll get visitation where he can take his child to visit for what ever visitation he is awarded. Your child is 9 years old so they go to school, he'll get visitation for every other weekend and holidays during the school year. Then over summer he could actually get the whole summer.

He needs to see his child, he also needs to build that relationship with them so they get to know him as a dad.

I don't think you have anything to worry about. He will get visitation and if you word it right you should have some time to get you and your child used to the idea.

When you go to court it is not what you know but what you can PROVE. He has no proof he is the child's father.

Please, what can he possibly do to prove you are an unfit mother? He has not paid a dime of child support, refused to acknowledge his child, and has a criminal history. If he proceeds with this the court will order a DNA test and child support. They may also order him to get a job and provide medical, dental, vision insurance for his child. The may order visitation, but you can request it be supervised visitation. But since he has never spent time with the child I doubt he will show up for his scheduled visitation.

I recommend you talk to someone at a domestic violence shelter or hotline. This is a form of domestic violence. They may be able to refer you to an attorney, help you get a restraining order and give you lots of advice about dealing with him.

Do not threaten him. He sounds like a loose cannon and he could become violent towards you. I know your first instinct is to say something like "I'm calling the police or I am taking you to court for child support etc but I think it would be a mistake to do this.

If you feel the need to call the police -- just do it. Do not warn him -- just call.

If he refused DNA testing and to sign the birth certificate, did you happen to put his name on it anyway? If you did, I believe that he is listed as the father and so he can ask for custody. But, I do not know the rules in Maryland. I am in Oregon, and my brother did the same thing, but since she "says" the baby is his, and he wouldn't take the test to prove it wasn't, he now pays child support for a child. I think this would be best asked of a lawyer or legal aid. I would think the burden of proof of his intentions would be required before a judge would give him custody, and he is just trying to mess with you.

If his name is not on the birth certificate, he will first have to establish paternity. And he will probably have to pay for a paternity test. I doubt he will really DO anything. This is so typical of a dead beat dad. If I were you, I would have no further communication with him and if he continues to try to reach you/threaten you, get a restraining order. He's blowing hot hair!

He doesn't have the right to refuse DNA testing. Take him to court and them will force him to do it. Then he will either have to sign his rights away or pay you.

No idea what the courts will do as far as visitation. I know in the county where I live in MD, the judge almost always gives both parents custody - even when one parent has been proven to be involved in drugs, gangs, etc...it's a shame, but it is what it is. So no clue who you will get or who will determine what visitation or custody he gets.

Step 1 for you would be to file for legal custody of your son.

You file the paper work with the courts and you will need an address for the kid's father. So they can send him paper work as well.

The court will assign you a court date. You go into court will all of the documentation they are requesting and then some. You will need to show a birth certificate for the child, perhaps school records, pay stubs or something showing your income and what kind of child care you have established for your child.

Custody is just 1 matter, visitation another and support yet another. In some cases you will need to file different motions with the court for each matter. Be certain to do so. Your character may come into play. Your son's father will be expected to attend to either contest or establish paternity, custody, establish visitation and support.

Right now he is bluffing. He hasn't had an interest in the kid for 9 years and my guess is he isn't really interested in the kid just in making your life miserable. PLEASE STOP GIVING HIM THAT KIND OF POWER!

Take power back by knowing your rights. You may want to get an attorney especially if he has the means to obtain one. I had the misfortune of going before a judge that had a bias against women without attorney's. It was absolutely aweful for me in that courtroom. I left crying. The next time in court I had my attorney and it went much better. I've not had a problem since and my son is now almost 19 years old.

If he has a criminal record, doesn't have a steady source of income, doesn't have a place to stay with at least 2 bedrooms, he doesn't stand a chance of getting custody.

The court generally seeks to do what is in the best interest of the child which may or may not have anything to do with how you feel or what you think about it.

Relax, work your plan an plan your work. The more you know the better off you and your son will be. Don't give in to your fears because honestly this man has no legal leg to stand on unless you aren't telling us the whole story.

You say he refused a dna test, does that mean he accepted paternity and did not want the dna test to prove it? or that he was denying paternity? I ask because when me and my ex split and we went for child support they offered it, he accepted paternity and refused the dna test. They told him that if he refused, down the road it would not matter since he was conceding that he was the father. Although he refusted the sign the birth certificate, is he listed anyway? These two refusals (lack of test or being listed) means that at this time, as far as the court is concerned, he is not the father (and the father would be assumed unknown). Obviously, a dna test could prove he is the father even if you don't admit to it.

I would not worry until the papers are actually filed. With him not being the legal father, until it goes to court, you will retain custody for sure. After court, he could end up with visitation but you can push for supervised (at least for a time to your son used to and comfortable with him) especially with his legal history.

Sounds like he's just trying to bully you. If he's not been involved to this point, what prompted his sudden desire to "take your son away"?

BTW, child support and visitation are two different things. In this case, he would have to establish paternity and in turn they would likely order support and medical coverage. I hear MD can be tough on dead beat parents...I have relatives that live there and they told me that if a woman goes to court and claims a guy is the father, if they "maybe the father" they are ordered to pay support until they prove they aren't because so many guys would refuse dna tests to avoid support orders.

Updated

You say he refused a dna test, does that mean he accepted paternity and did not want the dna test to prove it? or that he was denying paternity? I ask because when me and my ex split and we went for child support they offered it, he accepted paternity and refused the dna test. They told him that if he refused, down the road it would not matter since he was conceding that he was the father. Although he refusted the sign the birth certificate, is he listed anyway? These two refusals (lack of test or being listed) means that at this time, as far as the court is concerned, he is not the father (and the father would be assumed unknown). Obviously, a dna test could prove he is the father even if you don't admit to it.

I would not worry until the papers are actually filed. With him not being the legal father, until it goes to court, you will retain custody for sure. After court, he could end up with visitation but you can push for supervised (at least for a time to your son used to and comfortable with him) especially with his legal history.

Sounds like he's just trying to bully you. If he's not been involved to this point, what prompted his sudden desire to "take your son away"?

BTW, child support and visitation are two different things. In this case, he would have to establish paternity and in turn they would likely order support and medical coverage. I hear MD can be tough on dead beat parents...I have relatives that live there and they told me that if a woman goes to court and claims a guy is the father, if they "maybe the father" they are ordered to pay support until they prove they aren't because so many guys would refuse dna tests to avoid support orders.

The worst he can do is sue for custody. Until a lawyer contacts you, his threats are just hot air.

If he hasn't been a part of the children's lives, and his past is as shady as you make it seem, and if it turns out that he IS the father, he will most likely be awarded supervised visitation, to start. (Along with a requirement to pay child support.) If he proves himself responsible enough to care for a child, then the judge will review custody arrangements based on what is best for the child, and most fair for everyone involved.

Has he been involved with you son? Do they spend time together? Would he be able to prove that he's abetter parent to this child than you? Could he prove that you do not take adequate care of your son? If the answers are no he cannot get custody.

However, if he can show that you're possibly not taking adequate care or are abusive then he can go to Child Protective Services and ask for an investgation. They can take your child away from you if they find your child in danger.

Why are you even talking with this man if he's not good to your son?
Is he now saying he's the father and wanting to spend time withhim? If so he does have the rightvto do so. He can go to court and unless there is proof that he would harm your child te court will likely grant visitation. They could order certain restrictions. They could order that he pay child support. However, that is separate from visitation.

I don't know what you're asking about health issues or time to came? He could be ordered to provide health insurance. If you are served with court papers they will tell you by what date you must respond.

Btw he would have to prove he's the father which requires a DNA test. Sounds like he's just making threats wanting to upset you. Why are you even talking with him?

I would talk to a lawyer.

You say he refused to take DNA test and refused to sign the birth certificate, so he denied paternity? If this is the case and he has not been involved in your son's life (or minimal involvement) in the last 9 years, then don't worry too much. Also, if he is found to be the father, please do not think that his failure to give child support will help your case in terms of denying him visitation.

EDIT:

I know each state has different laws re child custody/visitation, but I hope this helps somewhat: In CA, there are different types of dads -- biological dad, legal dad, and alleged dad. If he refused to sign, that means he denied paternity. This means he's not the legal dad. He also failed to take the DNA test, so he's not the bio dad. As of now, he's an alleged dad, and alleged dads have no rights until they prove that they are either a biodad or a legal dad. In other words, biodad status can be proven through DNA testing and legal dad status can be shown through birth certificates, other paternity documents, or involvement with the child. Your son's father must overcome this burden before he's granted visitation (at least in CA, I'm guessing MD has similar rules).

I'd beat him to the punch and call his bluff by going to court and having them require a DNA test. I would never agree to anything without a DNA test even if I was 100% certain he was the father.

If he's the father then he'll have the right to live up to his responsibilities by paying child support. As far as getting custody? Probably will never happen especially with his zero contact for 9 yrs and prior arrests. You can request supervised visitations voicing your concerns about this sudden request for being a part of your son's life.

I didn't read the other responses, so I apologize if I'm repeating.

A DNA test is not optional in the court. He first has to establish that he's the father before anything could go forward. Also, because you're on aid, once paternity is established he will owe back support to the state and to you. That may deter him in and of itself. The record isn't going to help him get custody either. If you want him involved, persue the DNA test, but realize that means you may have to give him visitation and other legal rights. He is the father and has rights, but also needs to support his child.

Hello my name is Rev. R. W. I myself went through something kinda like that I had my two children with me for 5 to 7 years and the mother seen them maybe 3 times at the most when I went to court the judge gave me full physical and sole custody of both my children
I hope this helps
God Bless and good luck

I would make an appointment with a lawyer to see what your rights are in your state

Look in the yellow pages of your phone book & call a couple of the lawyers to make an appointment. Some give the first 30 mins free.

Have a list of all the questions you want to ask that lawyer in those 30 mins. Write down th answers.

He may have a leg to stand on to obtain 50% custody but not sure how he would be able to take your son away. Go see a lawyer right away.