Custody Schedule for a 7 Year Old Parents Live in 2 Diff. States

It depends on the distance, time, affordability of travel. Having her for long weekends and many of the breaks is appropriate. Splitting Christmas break. She needs some time in the summer with her father and her friends at home too. Use Skype to maintain weekly more meaningful contact. Write notes to her often. Send her notes addressed to you for her to send school work and notes back unless she is already computer literate and can keep in touch that way.

I have a friend who has been in that position since she had her son. One weekend a month she has to take her son up to see his dad. He leave after achool and doesn't get to his dads house until after 10pm. The he goes back on Sunday. This is very stressful on him and the parents but her ex seems to be selfish enough to force this arrangement on his son.

Depending on how far away you have to go should determine how many times a month you see her. If you are only a couple hours away then go fo once or twice a month. If you are going outside what would be a reasonable drive for her then go with the holiday schedule. Set up times to talk to her, without question from her dad. If you both have webcams you could set up a weekly chat. I do this with my deployed hubby and it helps sooooo much.

Good luck!
J.

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Let's hear your thoughts, Comment !!!!

I would ask for 10 days at Christmas, 7 days at Spring break and 6 weeks in the summer. YOu should be able to call and talk to her on a regular basis hopefully at least twice a week. V.

If it is supposed to be as equitable of a co-parenting situation as possible, and travel between the two locations is prohibitively diffcult/expensive, then the standard I've heard is that one parent has the child during the school year and the other has responsibility for the whole summer, winter break (Christmas), and spring break. In that scenario it was heartbreaking for everyone that goodbyes were literally for months at a time, but the child doesn't have constantly changing rules/expectations, etc. and lots of phone contact was maintained. This was years ago though-- now flights are cheaper and there are tools like Skype that will help make it easier to maintain contact and that close connection.

At one time when I had a custody determination for two states (CA and GA) my daughter would stay with me for the school year and then had 8 weeks of the Summer with her Dad plus every Spring Break. Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday would alternate each year as well. I am a strong believer that kids need as much stability as possible during the school year and they need to be back in the primary parent's home at least 1 week before the school year begins to readjust to house, rules, etc.

You will also want to consider any weekend visits during the school year and what the limitations might be. Whatever happens, get it all in writing and have it signed and agreed upon by both parents. It will save a lot of hassle in the future!

Best of luck!

I have never seen a show regarding child custody on Judge Joe Brown. In fact that seems a little silly to me. The custody of your child is a very serious issue and should be taken as one. I would advise you to sit down with the dad and try to work out an amicable situation for both of you that will be in the best interst of the child. Once you have come to an agreement, then you can have papers drawn up and filed in the courthouse. By coming to an agreement before hand will save you a great deal of time and money. Just remember the transition is going to be difficult for the child and he should not feel like he is being tugged in two different directions. Make sure the custody/visitation is in the child's best interest and doesn't interfere with his routine/stability. I wish you the best of luck.

I am so sorry to hear that. I will be praying for both of you!
R.

My stepson lives with us. He sees his biological mother which is 2 hours away for 2 months in the summer and then during the school year we let her see him whenever she has free time (which is only about 3 times a year). Its best to try to work it out with the other parent to make everything as smooth as possible. I do know that may not be possible with some people that aren't as easy to work with. I would also consult the child to see what they want. We dont let our son have it his way all the time but I do like to know what he is feeling. It really depends on how far you have to drive and what is practical. We didn't bother to have it written up because we all came to a mutual agreement.Good Luck & God Bless!

Hi K.,

My custody is set up so that my children would spend time at Christmas, Thanksgiving and Spring Break and 42 days in the summer with their dad. On odd years he would get all of the above and Christmas break for him would be the day that school let out until the 26th of Dec. On even years he wouldn't get Thanksgiving or Spring Break and Christmas would be from the 26th of Dec until the day before school started back. He could also have them every other weekend from 6pm on Friday till 6 pm on Sunday, but he never really took advantage of it. Basically ask for more than you really want and you should be able to get what you NEED as a compromise on his part. The above is very fair for everyone involved in my opinion. Also, we lived many states apart, he was in TX and I was in NC for most of the time, so it can be done from different states. I hope that you get the time that you deserve to have with her and if I can be of any further help, please let me know! You can reach me at ____@____.com Bless you and yours!
L.