I am presently going threw a custody battle with my 1st ex husband. I have physical custody of our youngest son which is 10 and he has physical custody of our oldest son which will be 14 next month. I started the battle when my oldest son asked if he could live with me. He had been asking me for a year now. I wanted to make sure this is really what he wanted because I knew his dad was going to put up a fight. So, now their dad is mad and says he is going to take my youngest son from me instead. He thinks he can do a better job because he makes more money then I do. I have my first appt. with a lawyer this week. My oldest son said he is going to tell the judge that he wants to live with me. Dont I have better chance at getting him since he is almost 14? Im not worried about him taking my youngest son from me. He cant prove me an unfit mother.
This is what i found out from my lawyer. They have new laws coming into effect January 1st here in Illinois. The judge will make you go threw mediation first. That is where you both sit down with a mediator and try to work out an agreement. If necessary they will request a guardian elite for the child...which is basically a lawyer that will speak for the child after interviewing the child. Then if nothing can be resolved then you go in front of the judge. My lawyer said that if the child repeatedly request and is very sure of where they want to live...the judge will grant the childs wishes. I had to put $3000 down to retain a lawyer.
Hi D.
At 14 he is able to speak for himself, so the judge will probably listen to him. As long as the ex can't prove you unfit you should be good to go. I really hope everything works out for you. I love my kids dearly and would go nuts without them. Take care hun and hang in there...you are doing the right thing.
M.
At his age, his wishes should make a big impact on the decision of the judge. Your ex making more money shouldn't matter, as long as you are able to proved the necessities.
Just make sure you have a good lawyer and it will go pretty easy at that age!
I am pretty sure that in the state of Indiana the judge will take into consideration where the child wants to live if they are 13 years old or older. I think that plays a huge roll in the custody hearing as long as there are no other issues. Good Luck!!
Remember, in Iowa,there is no "age"when a child can pick where he/she wants to be. Maturity & reasons why play the biggest role in court. Money/income does not win a custody case. Who's done what (as in being there with the children) and the relationships of each party with the children involved are a huge factor.
I know in the state of Ohio if you're atleast 12 or 13 you are considered old enough to decide who you want to live with. Now, the best suggestion I can give you, is find out at what age in the state your living is considered old enough to decided. Most states I believe is about 12 or 13, not real sure but I know between OH, KY, and WV that's the ages.
In some states the children have to be 14 when they can choose, I'm not sure about the Indiana laws since my husband and I are fighting with the New York laws. By the time a court date gets around though, he may be old enough to offer his opinion and come home to live with you. This is one of the biggest problems that my hubby and I are having right now. Bell is only 4 but tells us she wants to stay with us, the problem being that she feels massive amounts of guilt because she doesn't want to live with her mother. We have no choice but to prove her an unfit mother. The hardest part of that is that she doesn't have a job, hasn't for over a month, and is living solely off of the child support that hubby gives her. We've been told numerous times that she can't get Bell new clothes to fit, specially in the winter (blizzards all the time). Anyway, your lawyer should be able to help you out with that. I know a great lawyer if you need one. He's wonderful and fights with everything he has. He has helped my little brother quite a bit. Let me know if you want his name and number!
From what my friend has told me, who is a criminal justice major, since he is that old, and as long as you are considered a "fit" mother, the judge would award you custody since that is what your son wants.
D.,
Your oldest son is old enough to speak for himself in a custody hearing. I know what you are going through. My ex got some girl pregnant and now thinks he is a better parent then me. There is no way he can prove me unfit but we are still going through a pretty bad battle. He even has a child endangering charge against him on our daughters. Don't worry if he has nothing to hold against you. His money doesn't mean a thing. It's suppose to be what's best for the children not who can buy them a new game console every time they want it! Good luck!
In Illinois, any child over the age of 13 can voice their wishes to live with one parent or the other. The best thing to do right now is to have your children (the boys) write letters to the court stating their desire to live with you. Listen to your lawyer, they will tell you exactly what is needed.
Goodluck!
last I heard then in Indiana the judge will listen to any kid over age 12 or 13 to letting them pick the parent they want to live with but I'm not 100% sure that's still true. good luck to yall!
Custody battles can get ugly. Fortunatley your son is at a age he can speak up. Stick to the truth and everything will work out.
