Custody Battle - Enid,OK

Yes, bring your 16 year-old to court with you and have her tell the judge where she's been living and where she wants to live, and how little contact she's had with her dad. A judge will not force a 16 year-old to move. Their reasoning is that they are old enough to get in a car or a friend's car and go where they want to be, anyway.

We got custody of my 16 year-old stepdaughter because she got in the car when her mother was at work and drove to our house (Chicago to Minneapolis). Done deal. We had custody even though her mother had primary custody of her since she was four.

The problem is he is entitled to custody, you probably won't win. The best you can hope for is a sympathetic judge tomorrow. Having an attorney doesn't change the facts, only how they are presented.

You may want to take your daughter out of school so she can testify that she wants to live with you. Courts do listen to the children when they are 16.

One thing I can tell you from experience is that even when they say they will not live with dad, that they will live with you, the courts in St Louis will not modify to full child support. I had both my older kids full time but only half the support. How I figured it was it is more important that my kids be happy than fight over money and potentially have to force them to go to their dads.

You can have your daughter testify, saying that she does live with you and she has VERY LITTLE contact with her dad.

She is 16. Take her before a judge and have her tell the judge what is going on and that she wants to live with you.

$150 per month is not even the minimum wage support. That is around $170 per month and if they have worked in the past few years for more than minimum wage they almost always assign the higher amount.

A child of 16 will get to live with who they want. END THE DEBATE TOTALLY AND FOR ALL TIME. Let your daughter tell the judge right now, this week who she wants to live with.

When my sister and her hubby went through a divorce their daughter was only 8 and she went to the judge in Chickasha and said she didn't want to live with her mom because mom was a Jehovah's Witness and she wanted to keep going to church with her friends at the Baptist church. The judge gave dad full custody.

My friend asked her attorney how old a child in Oklahoma had to be to ask to not ever visit dad again and the attorney told her at age 12 in Oklahoma the judge will consider the child's request but at that age they most likely will go with what the child wants unless there are circumstances where the desired parent is found to be unfit.

I live in California and have been through a terribly bitter divorce and custody battles like you wouldn't believe.

For one thing, it's crazy to have a custody battle over a 16 year old. Here, children at 14, have a say in things. They don't necessarily make the decision, that is reserved for the court, but they take their feelings and the situation as a whole into account.

If you can prove this is a retalliation thing because you requested more support and IF your daughter is willing to repeat what her father told her, then you shouldn't have to worry about the custody part as long as you are certain that she does want to live with you.

How long have you known about this court date?
Did you file any papers in response?
In what manner did you "go after" him for more support? Was it through the court? Through the Department of Child Support Services? Was it verbal?

I have battled without an attorney many times and I never lost my kids. One thing I will tell you is that you cannot say you don't understand what's going on. Ignorance is not a defense. If you don't agree to what he is asking, YOU have to present something to the court outlining what YOU want. For instance, you request shared legal custody and sole physical custody with visitation as outlined: Then outline it.

I've raised two kids by myself. I understand how hard it can be financially, but to be honest with you, I was willing to have custody over money any day. $150 per month for a 16 year old is really nothing. I totally get that. But, unless you are certain you will receive a higher support award and he will actually pay it, I would tell him that you'll take the current support amount in exchange for you having full custody. If you are not prepared for an expensive fight, it seems like a logical solution. Your daughter is old enough to get a work permit, have a part-time job, she can make money babysitting, etc.
She will be 18 in two years. You have to weigh what you might gain, or lose, and if it's worth it for such a short period of time.

My ex husband dragged me through court so many times I can't even count. My son is 17 now and there is no more fighting. My son lives with me and sees his father as much as he wants. "Visitation" orders are pretty much out the window at this point. My son loves us both and has a relationship with us both. My ex pays a ridiculously low child support amount and although it might not be fair or right, by the time the court got around to making a decision about revising things, my son would be 18 anyway.

I don't know all the ins and outs of your situation, but I think your best bet is to ask for a revision in custody since your daughter has lived with you for the past two years and I'm assuming, she wants to stay with you. That part shouldn't be such a big hurdle. BUT, you have to complete and file the papers with the court. They can't grant something you don't submit. You do not need an attorney to respond to or file papers in your case.

You can ask the court for a continuance but it has to be based on something other than not having money or an attorney if you've had ample time to seek legal advice or file a response.

My area has Family Law self-help centers for people doing things on their own. You'll be at the courthouse tomorrow. Find out if they have any of those types of resources.

Hang in there.

Your 16 year old daughter is old enough to tell the Court where she wishes to live. If he has current custody but she has been living with you for the last two years, you should not have a problem keeping her with you.

There is a formula that the Court will use to determine child support. $150.00 is NOT enough and you deserve more.

Good Luck.