I have had my nephew since August 17th of 2010. He was only 7 months when my sister called me crying stating she could not do it any longer alone. The father was incarcerated for hitting my sister and causing harm on the baby. I filed for permanent custody that December in which all grandparents, mother and father all consented to. I let my sister come stay with us for a bit to try reunionification with her son, but that didnt work out. A year later, I tried to let the father stay with us and that didnt work out either. Both parents while here didnt do much or spend much time with my nephew. They use the excuse of he is with his guardians so I know he is safe, or why should I try when he calls you mom and your husband dad? Stupid excuses. Now, its been almost 2 years since I have had him. He is safe and well established with us. I still have perm custody. The father is starting to cause issues and threatening to take him away through the courts. Why do that to an almost 3 year old that doesnt know either of the biological parents. I dont have the money for a lawyer. I want to adopt him and make all this drama go away but that cost money as well. Every time we tried to apply for Non Needy Relative they tell us NO because they base it on our income. We are doing everything out of our own pockets on ONE income due to loss of job. What should I be doing next to secure this precious little baby?
It's been almost a week since the biological father has made any ruckas. I am thinking he was just blowing off steam. Btw, someone mentioned that you couldnt have full legal custody of a child that is not yours. I want to correct them because here in Southern California, the courts granted me PERMANENT LEGAL GUARDIANSHIP for my nephew. So just in case someone was poking around, they should know it can happen. This isn't over by far. We are bundling up everyone's advice here and looking into different options. Now that we have moved to a new county, I will be looking into TANF for him. So far so good. Thanks to all of you!
I just want to say how amazing you are for saving this baby! Im sorry I really don't have any legal advice but keep fighting for him! He needs you! GOOD LUCK
I don't get why they tell you no about Non Needy Relative assistance. I get that for my granddaughter whom I have guardianship of. Mine and my husband's income NEVER comes in to play. When I fill out the quarterly reports, I ONLY have to report if SHE got any money, etc. Maybe it's the type of custody you have? I don't have "custody," I have guardianship. I'm thinking you might want to check out the regulations re Non Needy Relative assistance. They apparently know the relative is "non needy" hence the title "Non Needy Relative."
As for adoption, you probably won't get that because it sounds like the mom and dad would object to the termination of their parental rights.
I wouldn't worry too much about the dad. With a criminal history of harming the baby, he won't get custody. He may get supervised visits, but custody won't be happening. Now, the mom is a different story. If she ever gets her stuff together and wants the baby back, you may have a fight on your hands. She did, after all, what was best for her child in giving him up. I don't know whether the court will hold that against her; whether it will work in her favor; or whether it won't really count at all.
I would, however, tell the dad that if she files for custody, you will respond with an objection and a request for child support. If he thinks he may have to pay, he may back off.
Good luck to you and your precious charge!
How wonderful that you stepped up to fill this void and parent this little boy! The world is truly a better place because of people like you.
Have you asked around about pro bono (free) or reduced-fee legal services? I don't know about the services in your area, but you'd be a good candidate. Try asking friends, other family members, your church/synagogue/mosque, whoever you can think of. These kinds of legal services are out there, but you have to hunt for them. Given the father's incarceration record, I sincerely hope no judge would ever grant him custody, but just in case, you should really have a lawyer on your side.
If you have custody through the courts then it will be through the courts that any one else will have to establish anything different for him. Do what you must to create additional income devoted towards a legal fund for the sole purpose of getting permanent custody or adopting him. This may mean doing something as simple as selling cakes and cookies or what ever your specialty is in life. Do it and charge a price people will pay and save those monies.
A friend of mine earns extra money by providing overnight childcare for 3rd shift parents. So the kids are dropped off at her house at about 9-11pm and picked up in the morning. She does provide breakfast but she says breakfast is the cheapest meal of the day. She has about 10-15 kids now and they are usually all sleeping. Decent side cash flow.
Think about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't. Then things will open up nicely for you and your family and this child.
Apply for TANF listing the child as a family of one - you do NOT put your income on that.
Gamma G - funny, I visit that board! But you are a little bit wrong when you say only a bio parent can have legal custody - I DO have legal custody of my grand here, thru the courts! Our state is one of few that has defacto custody - a subject that has been on that board before. (pretty sure not an option in CA tho)
