Really Confusing Custody Question

honey,its not a question of who is lying to you, its a question of who is lying THE MOST to you, it sounds like there is a lot of inter family conflicts going on that no one has seen fit to fill you in on,dont make any decisions one way or the other without figuring out what these people that you call family are really in conflict with each other about. on the surface, it sounds like your father, whether he is your biological dad, or not, has gotten a really raw deal from your grandmother and your aunt. if your father has been sending child support checks, and your grandmother claims otherwise, then she is guilty of FRAUD, and that is a crime, insurance fraud is also a big no-no.. if you are denied medical care, especially if you are disabled, then that person is guilty of neglect, call your dad, he sounds like he has your best interests at heart, unlike your grandmother and aunt, who seem to see you as merely a money pinata.
K. h.

Hi Sweetie,
Do you have an attorney or a child advocate helping you with this?
Contact CASA - http://www.casaforchildren.org/site/c.mtJSJ7MPIsE/b.53012...

It is hard to say what the courts will decide about your father - *but* you are old enough to tell them what you want and who you want to live with. If your father has a history of non-involvement, chances are the court will listen to you. Basically, you are asking that your friend's family be awarded guardianship of you, you are not asking that they adopt you, correct?

As for your grandmother and the insurance, it is hard to tell. You could contact the local Medicare/Medicaid office and see if you have insurance through any state program, sometimes awarded after a parent's death along with social security survivor's benefits. What does the insurance card that you found say? Any phone numbers on it - call them and ask questions.

I wish you luck.
God Bless

It sounds like your grandma has been lying. Your dad has shown you physical proof and you have seen your insurance card. If your insurance card is current take it and go to the doctor. That is a reason alone to have you taken out of the house (not proper care of scoliosis). Geez, what a crappy family. Honestly, I would take baby steps to know your dad because it sounds like he was actively kept away from you all these years. Maybe he's a jerk, maybe he's not, but giving it a try and having public meetings with him and talking to him may help you figure that out.
No you won't have to ask your dad for permission, he doesn't have custody. If your friend's parents have custody THEY are who you answer to. That would be like my daughter asking her uncle (my brother) for permission when he has no custody at all over her... hope it made more sense with the example :) I believe you are at the age of where you can say who gets you and have a say in it, in regards to will you have to ask HIM for the friend's parents to have guardianship over you. YOU will not have to ask him, if he fights though your friend's parents will have to be prepared to put up a case to keep you with them.

You need to tell the court what your grandma has been doing with the child support. From the physical proof, she has been getting an allowance for you every month over the years and chillin on it. That is just wrong! Tell them about the insurance you have and how she has not taken care of your scoliosis, that is just wrong! She is unfit just from those 2 reasons, among MANY others that you have talked about.

If you need to get a representative through the courts. You need someone who has the knowledge on your side or your friend's parents need to get a lawyer because ultimately they will be the ones battling against your family, not you directly.

Are you with your friend's parents now? What about your sister? Glad to hear your so what happened. I hope it works out for y'all. I'm so glad you came to us for help and started this process :) Hopefully your sister will get her act together and be properly taken care of over there. I'm SO glad that you have friends and their parents that are willing to fight for you so you can be in a safe home. So so so glad to hear your staying at their house. Will you stay there until the custody hearing? Have y'all had that set up yet? Your grandma sounds very manipulative, so take anything she threatens you with with a grain of salt and write it all down in a log book for court to use against her... some cell phones can record phone calls too.

I thought I saw a post where you might be 19 - but could easily have you mixed up w/someone else. If you are 18 or older, you are past needing any clearance from g-ma!

As for the other, as suggested below, go to your local aid office, or CASA, or even your local county attorney office. Surely one of them can get it rolling - esp the county attorney office!

You need an advocate, this is really beyond what anyone here can tell you.

For one we don't even know your age. If you are over 16 this is a non-issue, you can live where ever you want. You cannot however compel him to pay child support, especially when he has proof that he has been paying it all along.

When we received custody of our grandson, the judge told us that, "custody is always before the court." He stated that anyone can go before the court at any time and request custody. How well they present the situation and the facts will be determined by the judge. If your grandmother and aunt have permanent sole custody now, your father will not have to give permission, because he doesn't now have custody.

You need a representative...go to your courthouse and ask for one...let them guide you through this mess (sorry - but that's what it is) and help you figure out what you need to do and what must be done...

are you requesting emancipation? I ask this because I don't know how old you are..

I would write everything down - all the "stories" you have been told, get as much documentation you can from your grandmother and aunts "adoption" of you...your insurance card - verify it is current and go to the doctor and get checked out...NOW..

I'm truly sorry that you have been lied to and mistreated...no one deserves that.

why dont you call social services or dcsc (people that handle child support and such) and find out for real what you have and dont have. your grandma should loose you justfor deniging you the care that you need...insurance or not. where did you go to get your school physical didnt they tell you then what needed to be done? this makes me mad just reading it about how they are treating you. you should be old enough to tell a judge who you want to be with but sense it's not family i'm not sure how he will rule. good luck though.

Make sure you have an attorney or a court-appointed advocate before you go any further!

If your father never had legal custody of you, then there's a good chance that he still has no legal rights to you. Paying child support doesn't mean that he had any legal rights to you.

This is a very "legal" process, so check everything with your lawyer or advocate beofre making calls on your own! Good luck.

Well, in the case of them not being able to locate him when your mom died...its not as simple as tracking back where the child support came from. That is private information that the child support enforcement agency will not give to ANYONE. The question of your bio dad will come into play once this all gets to court. I can't say how much his involvement (or lack there of) will play into the case. You need to make sure your friend's parents are aware of the situation with you bio dad. This is something they need to discuss with their lawyer.

How old are you now? If you have a dependent of your own, you probably qualify as an adult and self-dependent. I'd see if you can stand on your own two feet; if you claim head of house hold on taxes, you'll actually get a tax return (as opposed to whoever has custody of you claiming you and THEM getting the tax return). If you're old enough to have your own kid and support them, you're old enough to not be someone else's dependent.