How old in your opinion should a child be when they decide they want to spend more or less time with a particular parent?
I would say when the child is old enough to explain why or why not he/she wants to or doesn't want spend time with a particular parent. I would think this would be 7 to 9. I was 8 when I informed my mother that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with my father.
My ex husband and I split when our now 9 year old daugther was 2.5. She had been spending the typical every-other weekend and one evening mid week with him until about 6 months ago. Over the las 2 years or so she's been telling me that she doesn't want to spend the night over there, and has even had times when she doesn't want to go period. I've always made her go (mainly because he's a d**k and would show up with the cops if I told him I wasn't making her go). After a while of her whining and crying that she didn't want to go because he never paid any attention to her while she was there (read: computer gaming addiction), I finally told her that I didn't care if she went or not, but SHE had to be the one to tell him she didn't want to go and her reasons why. I explained to her that when I've tried to tell him that she doesn't want to go, he gets mad and thinks that I won't LET her go. She had just turned 9 when she finally talked to him. Now she visits 2 evenings per week (5p-8p) and no overnights.
I think it depends on the child and their maturity level. But as a general rule by about 8 or 9 years old they should start to have a limited say in that type of thing. While it is important to weigh why the child prefers one parent over another, their feelings and opinions do need to be respected and acknowleged.
In my opinion, a "child" shouldn't get to decide if they want to spend more or less time with a particular parent. The parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child. If either parent is manipulative or abusive, alternate arrangements may need to be made meaning supervised visits.
Children generally will choose the "fun" parent, the one that disciplines the least or lets them have whatever they want, video games, unrestricted computer access, staying up late, etc.
Generally I would probably let a 15 year old have more input into who they would like to spend time with while managing time spent between school work, friends, and social activities and obligations. I say 15 because this is around the time in our family we begin the great push towards independence and out of our house (preparing them for college and grown up life).
I hope this helps.
What I have always heard is at the age of 13 they can decide who to spend more time with. Believe me my husband is counting down the days as well lol!! But don't force the issue someone will always be hurt in the end unfortunately. It's a very tough decision for a child to make. Good luck!
Depends on your situation. The courts will not allow a child to speak for themselves until they are 13. Even then, they only listen to their concerns and take it "under advisement". I have been dealing with the same issue with my son. He is happiest here, and really doesn't like going "there", but court order say he ahs to go everyother weekend and one day every week. His choice would be to cut back to one weekend a month and that be it, but my ex is very unreasonable and wil not evne consider it. Very itnto hurting me and could really careless about the kids. If there is no court order, I would say 12.
Every child is different. There is no set age. You do not tell enough information to give you a fair answer. Are they being abused? Are they being treated badly? Is it a bad living arrangement? Are they missing out on important childrens activities because of the visitation? You really need to give details if you want a honest and correct answer. My daughters were 10 and 12 when they stopped seeing their biological father. If it were up to me and them it would have been sooner but the court forced the visitation.
I would love to help you out but really need more details to give you a fair and honest answer.
The age at which most courts say a child can make this decision is 13. In my opinion, if you have a 4-year-old who screams every time he or she gets near the other parent or has to speak with the other parent, that child is making his/her decision about who she wants to be with. It ultimately depends on the child and the situation.
