Curious About Bath Time

My BIL didn't change diapers, and has only helped with a few baths. I think that there is definitely a double standard and it is a shame because it makes dads miss out on so many things with their daughters.

I have noticed this too.
I know as a mom I have no problems cleaning my son or my daughter.
But I know some guys who are nervous about touching their daughters private area to clean it.
I don't know why, for sure, I have theories.
It could be because as mom's we are hormonally built for motherhood. We're ready for anything. Men aren't that way.

I know some guys who feel weird about it because when they think of a vagina they think of sex and etc. Not saying that they are pervs or pedo's or anything like that.
Just all their lives that's what they know it for. So when they have a daughter they're a little bit scared to deal with that part.

Just a thought

That's an interesting double standard.

I agree, as a mother of a 4 1/2 year old boy, that I don't feel the least bit uncomfortable doing all the necessary duties, including cleaning all the nooks and crannies, and lotioning the bum when it gets rashed up (he gets eczema there), etc. Not the least bit.

It is statistically proven that men are far more likely to be sexual predators, and therefore, there may be more stigma attached to men coming in contact with private parts of little girls, particularly. So maybe that factors in. But as parents, we should be able to do all the necessary duties for our kids, mom or dad, little boys or little girls. We are equally parents of these kids, after all, aren't we?

It shouldn't be different but it seems to be.
Perhaps in an ideal world, we would all take our cues from the kids when their little "privacy filters" kick in.....
I don't feel weird at all w/my 7 yo & bathing and I don't think he does...there have been a few times that he has asked for "privacy" in the tub but it's not normally mentioned.

Since moms are generally the primary caretakers we rarely feel uncomfortable when washing our children (boy or girl) or anything else regarding that matter.

ithink its normal. they are accused and are usually the molester. of course that is not always true but for the most part it is. Just like women are uncomfortable walking alone at nigh, we get raped and taken advantage of far ore often then men do. I asked my husband once if he ever was nervous walking home at night and he looked at me and had no idea what i was talking about. Also i think as moms we just generally have a different bond with our kids. My husband has our 2 year old wash her parts, and explains they are for her to touch.

I have a 3yr old. & my husband gives her baths the majority of the time. He has never been uncomfortable. I showed him the proper way to wipe & clean girls and he knows to be very gentle & make sure to totally rinse soap from that area etc. He has never had a problem with changing pampers either. All men are not the same. So as a mom follow your own instinct, if you feel it's better for you to give the baths than do so.

Wow I have the opposite situation! My husband bathed our daughter until she turned 8, and it was my decision not his. He was very offended that I would find issue with him bathing/being in shower with her. He loves our daughters to death, he said to me: Are you kidding me??? Do you know how MANY times have I changed her diaper since she was born???
LOL I know I'm a prude but he was really offended that I would not allow our daughter to be naked in front of him anymore, like he was some kind of pedophile, which I know of course that he is not.

Also, my daughter's best friend is a boy, they've been friends since they were infants and I changed him and bathed him until he was almost 5, I never felt the least bit uncomfortable. He was a little child/baby so I never felt uncomfortable.

I agree with a previous poster, we need to take our cues from our children. They will let you know when they no longer feel comfortable being seen naked, by either mom or dad.

I have a fairly laid back household, even when it comes to nudity. No we don't all walk around naked all the time. :-) I feel that making a big deal about nudity only makes kids more self conscious about their bodies. If they feel comfortable being naked in front of mom/dad then don't make them think its wrong. They could definitely turn it into "their body is wrong." That doesn't mean you can't teach them modesty and whats appropriate around others though.

Totally different in our house. We have two girls and daddy does tubs. It started when my oldest was little but big enough to be in the bathtub. Like most moms I was doing it all, working, cleaning. laundry, dinner on the table every night. Lets just say that daddy needed a job. :) He has never minded sitting in the bathroom and letting them play in the tub. I don't have patience for that. All I think about is the million other things that I need to do. He doesn't care, he will sit there and let them goof around for an hour. They have the most one on one time with him on bath night. He works a lot and they love having him all to themselves. Normally the only time they spend with him is dinner and bed, so the extra time is great for all of them. I use to dread when he went out of town for work and I had to do tubs. Now they switch off between tubs and showers depending on homework, afterschool activities..etc. They are 7 & 4 now and he gives them their loofas and they scrub themselves and he supervises to make sure they do everything. He washes their hair (oldest has long curly hair and little one still can't do it by herself). I have never heard him say anything about being uncomfortable. I have never thought that it was weird ( they are still little girls). He did comment they they are going to have to stop doing it together because they are getting to big to share the tub, but they don't care. I would think that by next year, my oldest, will want to do everything for herself. I guess because he has always been the one to do tubs, and I hardly ever do tubs, it's not weird for any of us.

There probably is a double standard but a natural aversion to giving your opposite sex child a bath is understandable. There will come a time when it is inappropriate for you to give your boys a bath as well.

You will know, it is when they ask for privacy.

It's sad to say but it is a double standard and most guys are uncomfortable wash their daugthers, but that i think is because of all the things that goes on with all thes men touching these kids the wrong way. you hear about all this stuff on the news and it's crazy but i can see home it will make a father feel uncomfortable to even was his own daugther not that he's gonna do anything to his own baby. but with girls you have to be more hands on. and man are just uncomfortable. Now don't mistake it my husband will wash our daughter if he has to. but only if..lol

Updated

It's sad to say but it is a double standard and most guys are uncomfortable wash their daugthers, but that i think is because of all the things that goes on with all thes men touching these kids the wrong way. you hear about all this stuff on the news and it's crazy but i can see home it will make a father feel uncomfortable to even was his own daugther not that he's gonna do anything to his own baby. but with girls you have to be more hands on. and man are just uncomfortable. Now don't mistake it my husband will wash our daughter if he has to. but only if..lol