I have a 22 month old daughter. When she does somthing she is not soppose to we put her in time out which seems to work, however when she wants somthing she can not have and we say no she crys hysterically. Until now I have always tried to distract her or just let her cry. I need a new tactic. We were recently on vacation in a house with a newborn so we did not want to subject the whole house to letting her cry it out. We never gave into to what she wanted but I would like to know if there is another way.
Always offer an other option that is okay. If she is playing with something she shouldn't say "Please don't play with that, you can play with this"
Offering something else usually helps with my 28 month old.
When our kids cry from anger or frustration, they are "invited" to leave the room and come back when they are ready to be sociable. At that age we would simply take them to their room and let them know they are welcome to come back when they are done crying...or "you can stop now and we'll find you something you CAN play with (eat, look at, ...)"
Just keep doing what you're doing - don't give in to her, and use distraction. When you say no, you have to believe it and say it like you believe it, and just walk away, or end the back-and-forth. You are doing great! Just keep it up. She will grow out of it.
My daugher is 4 and has started to do this too. I have tried to tell her that crying is not the way to get what she wants, but I know it is harder to reason with them when they are even younger. We have also sent her to her room for crying and throwing a fit and told her she can come out when she is ready to settle down. I guess I really do not have a great answer, but just know that you are not alone with the problem and if it happens in public MOST people are understanding. If you have to, take her to the car or someplace quiet to let her know that she is not going to get her way and give her time to settle down. Just don't give in to make her stop crying or she will use this tactic forever!!
Welcome to the terrible two's!
At that age the best thing is really to ignore it all togather, a simple "no you can not????" and walk away, it can be very hard especially in certian situations, but most people really do understand, if you are in a store walk outside, in the bathroom, or to your car wait for her to finish, don't talk to her and go back to what you are doing. Thier tears are our punishment, and they usually win, but if we act as if we can't hear it and really don't care they tend to figure out it isn't working, of course they try something different after that but you just repeat the process. H. I gave you another idea....good luck.
Hi H.,
We are going through this a little too- what we are doing is either telling her if she is going to cry about this and throw a tempertantrum she can go cry in her room about it. For my daughter thats the last thing she wants to do so she usually stops.
The other is we give her a time out for throwing a tempertanrum. We explain that this is not a good choice for how to handle disappointment. When she realizes that not only is she not going to get her way for crying like this but she is also going to be punished she will find a new way to express disappointment. Mine is 3 so we actually talk about what she could do or say to show that something upsets her but that is more effective than a tempertantrum.
H. that helps a little, I know how frustrating this can be.
Hi H.,
I also have a 22 month old and is doing the same thing. I think it is just a stage that they go through. My oldest did the same thing about the same time. It is very frusterating but as long as you don't give in when she cries she should learn that crying doesn't help and stop. Good luck.
Chris
