M.,
I don't know if your son's teacher is a new teacher, but I have been an elementary teacher for 17 years and have seen students who go through phases like this. Some children are just more sensitive or express themselves by crying in response to certain situations. I am also a mother or 3,now grown, so I have experience from both sides!
This is probably indicative of your song's basic personality. Maybe he is a perfectionist, but here is part one on my lengthy thoughts on the situation. They address the symptoms.Perhaps you would like to share them with your son's teacher.
1. Unfortunately, crying in school, especially for an 8 year old boy, will bring additional problems for him from his unsympathetic peers, so in addition to wanting to help your son with the underlying cause for his own sake, we want him to stop crying at school.
2. It will probably take longer to remedy the underlying cause, so we'll start with the response to what he his feeling-frustration, fear, incompetence, etc. Establish a different plan for handling the situation at these times! Whether it's going to the teacher right away, placing some sign or signaling to the teacher when he feels it coming on, giving him permission to signal and leave the classroom for a minute (with a special pass somewhere on the teacher's desk that is not a big deal-discrete so the class is not focusing on him). The sign could be something like placing a personal pencil sharpener on his desk.
Make sure the teacher leaves instructions for a substitute teacher.
3. If by some chance, your son seems to be taking advantage of this and abusing his privelage to leave the room to get himself together, then the plan should be modified. Maybe he is only allowed to use it once or twice a day, or week, depending on how often it's happening. The idea is to continually decrease the number of times he needs to use his option as he gains control. But we don't want to panic him by decreasing it too rapidly.
Addressing the underlying causes
1. Is your son tired? Can he see close up? Does this happen at any other time? Is he dyslexic? Can he hear well? Does he get headaches? Eye strain? Are you sure it only happens at school or in math class? What is your son good at? Think of the multiple intelligences-is he a language person, a builder, an athlete, interpersonally skilled...? Point out his strong points to him. Explain that people all have different strengths and weakness and that's okay. What about asking him how he feels when he can help someone with something that he's good at? When he needs help with something, that gives another student a chance to feel good about helping him.
2. Your son's exclamation that he just wants to have fun tells you that he is not having fun. So what does he mean by this? Remember, he doesn't necessarily have the vocabulary to express himself perfectly, so what does fun mean to him? Ask him to give examples of what fun is, what is not fun about it, what the other kids are doing that is fun, etc.
3. How long have you been single? Is there something that happened recently or has he heard something about his father or you that could be upsetting him? He may be worried at school because he does not know what is happening to you at home. I've seen this a lot. Children want to be at home with their mother when dad has left home. They are afraid something bad will happen to their moms if they're not there. Will mom be there when they get home? 7 hours at school is a long time to be away from home when you're worried. Your son may even have heard something from his classmates about parents separating, fighting, etc. and worry that it will happen to him/you. Do you have any other children? What about pets? Anything there?
4. Below is good info from http://www.disciplinehelp.com/teacher/detail.cfm?behavior...
The Crier (Who Sheds Tears)
Behavior: Specific attitudes and actions of this child at home and/or at school.
Responds to any kind of pressure or conflict with tears. This behavior is different from that of the crier who is always crying foul.
Extremely sensitive and often worries that everything will go wrong.
Sometimes seems to feel the burden of the world on his/her shoulders.
May also think that he/she is "different" and disliked by classmates and teachers.
Believes that his/her class work or personality will never be acceptable to teachers.
Often teased by classmates.
Often a loner.
Seems to need a friend.
Usually relates easily to caring adults.
Effects: How behavior affects teachers, classmates, and parents in the school learning environment and the home family situation.
Teacher may not know how to talk to this student-much less how to relate to him/her, and may avoid the student as a result.
Teacher may feel so uncomfortable that he/she fears approaching this student.
Unfortunately, teacher may punish this behavior, feel it's a sign of immaturity, or treat crying as a discipline problem.
The Crier (Who Sheds Tears)
Action: Identify causes of misbehavior. Pinpoint student needs being revealed. Employ specific methods, procedures, and techniques at school and at home for getting the child to modify or change his/her behavior.
Primary Causes of Misbehavior
Self-Confidence
This student honestly cannot face people, especially if failure in any form is involved.
Primary Needs Being Revealed
Escape from Pain
This student is easily hurt and reacts with much feeling to the world about him/her.
Secondary Needs Being Revealed
Aggression
This student needs to learn to assert him/herself.
Status
This student needs to develop an understanding of self and a belief that he/she is OK. The student may come to accept that it's not bad to be a very sensitive person.
Be patient. This is the first step in helping this child change or cope with such behavior.
Next, remove any negative feelings you hold toward crying. It's not necessarily a bad or abnormal behavior.
Talk to this student in positive ways about his/her sensitivity. Tell him/her that sensitivity is a strength-if kept in perspective. Say, "Just as some people hide their feelings, yours are simply out in the open for all to see. Your friends are lucky-for they know more easily how you feel." This technique allows the student to minimize rather than maximize negative feelings he/she may hold regarding crying.
Let the student know that you're on his/her side. Remember, this child thinks others are against him/her because of too many tears.
Get involved in his/her goals. This is the best stance you can take to help the child use his/her sensitivity constructively.
Always contact parents for insights.
Seek the help of former teachers and counselors if deeper emotional problems may exist. Chances are, however, this child is just a very nice, caring, loving, and sensitive person who can't hide his/her sensitivity.
Remember, the crier may be a very capable person, but is very emotional in any kind of stressful situation. This emotional makeup may never change, and it will take patience to work with this student.
Mistakes: Common misjudgments and errors in managing the child which may perpetuate or intensify the problem.
Calling this student a crybaby.
Trying to shame him/her.
Believing he/she is weak.
Failing to look at crying as a positive act. This may intensify the problem. Remember, tears are not negatives. In truth, they may be totally positive.
Overprotecting this student and failing to deal with the behavior.
Failing to understand that this may be an emotional characteristic that will never change.
Michell, if I think of anything else, I'll let you know. Hope this helps! Good luck. Let me know if you need clarification on anything or if your teacher has a question. (I wish I would have known your son's name for this! It makes it so impersonal to keep saying 'your son".