Crying at Daycare

My daughter started daycare at 7 weeks old, she did great until she was about 2 1/2 then she would cry adn hang onto me. It's normal. The staff would calmy scoop her up and take her to another room and I would leave. She would stop crying as soon as I got in my car (they would tell me).

The key is to drop and go. If you continue to try to reason with her the harder it becomes for both of you. Ask a staf member if they can help you when you drop her off. Maybe when you get there give her a hug & kiss and then have someone get her while you leave.

after a few days or maybe a couple of weeks she will stop.

I think we went through it for about 2-3 weeks. It's hard but you will get through it!

L.

K., I went through the same thing with my daughter at various ages. In fact, at age 6 she is starting it again. It seems to be a phase that she goes through every couple years. She eventually adjusts and stops the crying. It is separation anxiety. The only thing you can do is reassure her that you love her and will be back. Don't ever sneak out without her knowing you are leaving. Hang in there; this too shall pass.

Since she's also doing it at your parents, it's probably separation anxiety. Good luck!

Hi K.! Sorry to hear that your drop off is becoming teary, thats really hard on parents. I worked in the daycare industry for 10 years, ending as a center director. It is normal for children who have attened daycare from a long time to suddenly become tearful at some point. The most important thing to recognize is that, although this makes you feel terrible, it most likely only happens for a minute or two. I would urdge you to not give the crying much attention and not to hang around extra because of it. Give her a nice big hug and kiss and tell her you'll be back in a little while. She'll be just fine.

so normal.....not every child deals with it. but the one thing i have learned through my first son, is that everything is a temp phase with kids. Just tell yourself...this too shall pass.

I agree this is perfectly normal. As babies they have no "object permanence", meaning if they don't see something, it no longer exists. She now realizes you still exist somewhere else and it's sad for her. All she knows is mommy's leaving, she can't see ahead to think, oh, I'm at daycare, it's ok. But like they said at daycare, that realization comes in a few minutes and she's fine. One thing I would caution you about is please please please please don't ever ever ever ever do that sneaking out thing that some parents do because they don't want to hear their kid cry. THAT produces more insecurity than anything - she's happy and playing then all of a sudden mommy's gone. Always say goodbye, see you later, give a kiss, etc. I've had alot of years as a nanny and the church nursery volunteer and I would always pick up the child and go to the door or window, "Let's say bye bye mom! Love you mom! See you after work mom!" All the while waving and blowing kisses. Your daughter understands bye bye and knows it's not forever. She'll get the idea.

there is alot of staff turnover in daycare. Is she in a new group or with a new teacher????, the two year old group can be very frustrating to teach, she could be modeling behavior of the other kids and it could be carrying over.

It might just be a normal thing but i would start with the teacher that spend the majority of the time with her and get a feel for what they are like and how they deal with your daughter and if the rest of her group is having any trouble adjusting, etc etc. maybe even ask what they recommend. some places let you leave a family picture there or allow her a lovey from home to snuggle with, But ask first, some places start taking security items like blankies and binkies away as soon as they transition to the two year old room. Which in my opinion should happen months in advance or wait several months after they are comfortable in the room.

Hello K.,

I worked in a daycare for four years. I have observed a lot of children during that time. I am also the oldest of eight children and I do have my son. I can understand your concern. When a child is happy they run to you happy. Now with crying I would like you to consider these questions. Did you talk to your child's teachers. Let them really know how concern you are. I should state here that I have worked for several daycare before the final one in which I had worked for four years. The other daycare, we were told not to talk to the parents. Only the designated teacher could speak to parents. It asked any questions though, we were told only to tell the parents your child had a great day, even if they really didn't. If there was an accident that left a mark, like a child biting a child, then we filled owt an accident form. If not marks was left thsy hushed it up. I don't approve of lying and if it was my child I would check on how they handle any kind of accidents. Ex. A child hits andother child and there was no marks. I feel that parent should be informed. Think about it. That child would not want to go back to that class if they had to confront that bully again. There are so many variables in this kind of situation. When I choose the daycare for my son, these are the questions I asked myself. Did that daycare have the same discipline structure as I do?
Do they have enough helpers per class to watch, play, help the children they have in their class? Does class have to many children? What is the structure of each class? Do they have more than just play time? How much time do they allow the children to watch TV? (Some daycare lets the TV babysit the children and not the teachers.) I read every pamphlet of each daycare and visited each one to. Do they have enough outdoor toys and well as indoor toys? I also talked personally to the teachers that will be in charge of watching and caring for my child. When the teachers know you really want the truth, most would share the truth.(even if it goes against policy of the owners or directors of the daycare.) All I know is that something scared your child. It might have only been watching some of the children fighting. Just continue to love and reassure your child that you are there for her. If she can't talk about what's troubling her, maybe have her draw it out. If that doesn't help, maybe seeking a woman in the field of talking to little children in need. Are there male teachers in the daycare that she may be shy around? I am not trying to scare you. Just look at it in your child perspective. She is so tiny and all adults and older children are so tall. Keep giving her lots of hugs and keep doing what you are doing. Loving your precious little girl. I really hope I have helped. I want to take this time to wish you and your whole family a Happy Holiday. Your friend from Mamacource, Debbie.

She is probably smart enough now to realize that you are leaving her for a period of time. Maybe more mom/daughter time would help?

Hi K.. I have worked in the chid care field for over 20 years! This is perfectly natural. I always tell parents who get sad when their child seems "happy " to leave them in the morning to just wait until they turn two!! You will be wishing for those days again. I would suggest that you not hang around and try to calm your child. It really makes it harder. If your daughter catches on it will take longer and longer to leave. I am sure she has a great time with her friends and teachers. You chose your center because you trust them and are comfortable there. Let them do their job. We are masters at distraction!! Good luck. I hope this helps a little.