Crying - Omaha,NE

Hi,
I'm a 58 year old grandma with 5 boys of my own. I know what I am going to tell you goes against what most doctors say, but it always worked for me, and my kids have grown up healthy and happy.
Mix about one or two tablespoons of RICE baby cereal with a little of her formula, and feed her twice a day with this, morning and evening. It will help to stop her hunger and she will sleep better and not cry as much. Good luck to you.If you can't get her to eat from a baby spoon, put in in a bottle and enlarge the hole justa a tad.

Talking to your doctor is a good idea. It sounds like she has a good old case of colic. My niece screamed for 20 hours a day for the first three months of her life, and after that she was fine. There are a few theories as to what causes colic, most people believe it's gas. Mylicon drops help. Changing her formula might help. My daughter had colic also, not as severely as my sister's daughter, and she absolutely refused to breastfeed at 10 weeks because she couldn't tolerate the milk, she also couldn't tolerate standard formula, so I put her on Enfamil Gentlease, which has milk proteins that are broken down to be easier to digest, and it helps alot!

I'd see if you can journal her day and see if any patterns emerge. Does she fuss at certain times, or if she's on her tummy, or back...

we always referred to early evening as "pissy time" with our kids.

Yes, you can condition babies to want to be held (you can call that spoiling). But that's like anyone, if you condition yourself into a certain routine, then it may take a bit to readjust to something different.

Some babies just cry all the time. My little boy probably was fussy every day for the first six months of life. I tried everything to make him comfortable and was taking him to the doctor to see if there was something wrong. They always just told me "this is normal". Even crying all day for hours didn't seem to alarm the doctor. He did start sleeping through the night @ 6 weeks because he would wear himself out crying during the day. Just make sure you are getting a break for a little while. It is hard to handle a fussy baby everyday without help.

Give her babies magic tea and she will be no more fussy. I am using this tea and my baby won't cry until he is hungry.

You cannot spoil a baby. The ONLY reasons they cry are Hunger, discomfort (wet, poopy, gassy, sick), lonely, bored, needing comfort from Mommy/Daddy.

Think of it this way, she's been cradled in your womb for 9 months, the only thing she has ever known is your smell, your voice, Her MOMMY. She gets comfort in this big ol' world from YOU, YOU are her safe place. You are her security as long as you are there everything is going to be ok. Let her have that, carry her hold her love on her cherish her as much as you can. Don't listen to people who tell you that you're going to spoil her. You can't spoil a baby by meeting their needs...it just isn't going to happen.

Formula is bad for babies, its probably making her have stomach and bowel issues and she is uncomfortable. Get in touch with your hospitals Lactation Consultant, and/or your local La Leche League. It is not to late for you to breastfeed!!!
It is ABSOLUTLEY IMPOSSIBLE to spoil a newborn, she was in your womb for 9 months and the world is a cold, loud, bright place to get use to. Newborns need lots of skin to skin contact and should be help as much as possible, invest in a baby sling or wrap so you can keep your hands free.
Never ever let a newborn cry it out-you will not spoil her by tending to her cries, you will show her that you are an listening to her and helping her so that she learns to trust you.

J., in my experience, babies around that age often cry at consistent times every day. Is this what is happening? Both of my sons (and many of my friends' children) had a "witching hour" around dinner time when nothing helped. They eventually grew out of it. In the meantime, I just fed them, changed their diapers, and held them until they stopped crying. If it is a food or stomach issue, you'll see it consistently every time your baby eats. It could also be colic. And hold, hold, hold your sweet baby! You can't give a baby that young too much attention. It is maximum bonding time and you bond by showing your baby love by responding to her cries.

I guess one of the main questions I have is she soothable? If just picking her up eases all her fussies, than you might want to think about getting her used to not being in your arms all the time, because she is going to get heavier. baby bouncers, swings and even just blankets are great for entertaing babies. Start with just a little bit at a time.
However, if she still needs to be soothed after you pick her up, you may want to talk to your doctor, or look into more of the gas issues.

Hi J.,
I agree with the other moms, you can't spoil her at this age. Both of my boys, until about 12 weeks, had a fussy time. It was from about 7-10. Sometimes they would be fussy and other times they would cry and cry and cry some more. Both of my boys were much happier after 12 weeks. My boys loved the swing. I sometimes felt guily putting them in it but it was the only way to get anything done around the house. Try that if you havent yet. Listen to your gut. If you feel like she is in pain she may be. Good luck. Try not worry to much. This stage will pass.
Chris

first of all....you can NEVER hold your newborn enough. they NEED to be held!! crying is part of being a baby. that's the only ay they know how to communicate. have you talked to your doctor about colic? my 2 month old son is a crier also. he has acid reflux and there are days he is just uncomfortable and it sucks. have you tried the "football hold"? my son is on enfamil gentle-ease. it seems to work. if you're really concerned, talk to your doctor. but it sounds like she's fine and being a regular baby!!!

Is it a certain time of day? For some reason our son would get very fussy and gassy at night time which was hard on us. It will get better hang in there. Just try and comfort as much as possible. You might want to try moving the legs around if you think it's gas for some relief or rub the tummy. It seemed to help for my son. As far as changing formulas it didn't work for us but changing bottles did. We ended up going with the playtex insert liners and it seem to work for him. I wish you the best and you'll get through it! It will get better with time very soon!

It is said that some newborns cry 1-4 hours a day. Neither of mine have though. It is also impossible to spoil your baby at this point hon. She is too young. What you are able to do now is be there every time she needs you so you can build that trust that come into play later on. If she is writhing and gassy along with the fussing, I would get rid of that brand and try something else. We had great luck with "good start" brand. My son had reflux and we tried every other formula before that one and he was uncomfortable, gassy, colicky and just miserable. When my other son was born we went right to good start and he is doing great on it. We are using the green can with natural cultures like breast milk.
If it continues though I would definately see Dr's advice-it could be an allergy or colic.
Good luck!
C.

I'm going to ditto what Heather said. And you cannot spoil a newborn. Her only means of communicating is through crying - whether she's hungry, wet, gassy, bored, just want to be held. Try the gas drops, try tummy time, try the bicycle motion, and give yourself a break if it's getting to you. Put her in her crib, close the door, go into the bathroom and turn on the fan for 5 minutes. Whatever you need to do. Babies cry A LOT at first. But almost every mom I know says that right around 2-months, everything just sort of falls into place. You'll start to understand each of her cries, she'll fall into a fairly good routine of eating, sleeping, play, etc. Life just somehow seems to get easier right around that time. But trust your instincts. If you think her crying is because something is not right, then take her to the doctor. You know her better than anyone!

I have a 3 month old and he's my third. Babies generally cry to tell you things - I'm hungry, wet, cold, lonely, over stimulated, or bored. YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY. Hold her all day if it helps. Get a snuggly wrap that she can be in - it will free your hands up. Each kid is different - just like we all have different personalities. You'll learn what she likes and what can set her off. Unless she is crying for 3 hours straight - it's not collic. My son would have crying jags that would last an hour - no rhyme or reason - sometimes after naps, sometimes during the middle of the night. It passes. If you think stomach is hurting - like she has to pass gas, lay her on her back and bend her legs in and up towards her belly. It will help get the gas out. My son now loves singing - anyone and everyone as long as it's singing. Some kids love music, or white noise or the sound of the vacuum or the washer and dryer or rain. There are a lot of cd's out there. Experiment and you'll find something that works.

Newborns just cry. Sometimes it seems that there is no reason for it. They're fed, dry, warm, and still they cry. You can tell if her stomach hurts if she is pulling her legs up or if she is wiggling like she has gas. Also, don't worry about holding her all the time. You can't spoil a baby. Hold her as much as you want to. Try swaddling her. Sometimes that helps. Holding her close to you and swaying very fast back and forth sometimes helps, too. It can be so frustrating when your baby is crying and you don't know why and don't know what to do to help. If it gets too much for you, it's ok to put her in her crib and close the door and let her cry for a little bit. Step into another room where you can't hear her and take a deep breath and close your eyes for 10 minutes to calm your own nerves. Then go back and get your baby and things might go better. When you are calm, your baby will be easier to calm. They can pick up on your mood and when you get upset, it can make them upset too. But rest assured, by 3 months most babies are over that and are quite fun and pleasant. Some babies are more high maintenace than others, tho. But try not to question yourself and just enjoy your little one, even if she's screaming her head off. You're a good mom and sometimes babies just cry. Don't let anyone give you any guff about giving your baby formula, either. While it is better to breastfeed, formula is just fine for babies too. If it's what works for you, then that's just fine. I formula fed my son and breastfed my daughter and both turned out to be happy, healthy kids. Take care!

J.,
Your question is hard to answer, first I say listen to your gut. My daughter was very fussy. I found that mylacon drops help some. We gave them to her before every feeding and that did help. My daughter wanted to be held (I don’t have a good answer for you on that one; my mother in-law says hold them all the time and my sister told me to let her be by herself.) I did hold my daughter a lot and the only thing I look back on is that I did not give enough tummy time when she was Emma’s age. We had the days of crying and just remember that her car seat or crib are safe places for her to cry for a few minutes while you get a little break( I would go get the mail form the mail box). To help my daughter’s gas I found that doing a bicycle motion with her legs helped. Just remember "this to shall pass"
H.

no specific answer re the crying, except check with your doctor....my middle child turned out to be allergic to milk so had to have soy formula....but that was a long time ago (he's 37 now!) ..

my grandson was happier being swaddled snuggly for the first few months.....til he got used to being able to move his arms and legs etc (stop and think about how 'tightly packed' he was before he was born)....

in the end you have to understand that babies just cry sometimes...it's what they do....part of it is how they communicate with or react to the world...it's also instrumental for the development of their lungs etc.....ask yourself is the crying excessive? or it just that i expect him to be quiet all the time?

but the main thing i want to tell you is that you can't spoil a 1 month old baby...holding and cuddling makes them feel secure and loved....banishing them to a crib is abandonment to them....babies who are held and cuddled grow into more emotionally stable kids...

if you question this, just read the reports about the kids in orphanages in eastern europe, where they are seldom even held or even spoken to....

D.

I always found that my girls were fussier at that age, and my boys less so (4 boys & 3 girls). Every baby is different, don't worry about spoiling at this age, there is no such thing. She may still need to change her formula, or she just could need the comfort of another body. Some things would be to swaddle her tightly, and lay her down with a clock that ticks loud or a small radio set to static, babies love white noise, one mom suggested a bouncy seat, those can be especially wonderful if they vibrate, I always call them moms first shower. In the end, follow your instincts, if you feel something is wrong then keep going to the doctors. But to me, from what you have said, she sounds sounds like a fussy baby and that tends to lesson the older they get. Hang in there it does get better, and then they learn to talk LOL.

You can not spoil a baby!! They need to be held, that is how they bond with others!

All the moms have given great advice...track/journal her day and see if any patterns appear. My first was a fussier baby than my other two, but all babies are different. We put my daughter on a soy formula because of spitting up/gassiness from regular formula, but check with your pediatrician. At one month old, they cry to tell you they need something. My son doesn't like being wet, so check her diaper, feed her if she's hungry, etc. Does she like the swing? Do you keep her swaddled? She's still adjusting to being outside of the womb.

Good luck and congratulations on your first!