Hi! I am a daycare provider that had a new family start about a month ago. The little girl is almost five years old. She loves to tell stories that is obviously made up, which I enjoy the creativity. But she is also tattling on the other children about every thing, even something as "So and So is watching TV". And she is making up things like"So and So hit me" and they didn't becaues I am supervising them at all times. I have a 4yr old boy here also and they really go rounds! He gets very upset at her behavior and they start shouting at each other. It is really causing me a huge headache! I try to remain calm and tell her its not nice to say things that are not true. I would talk to her mother, but I am worried becaues she is the only child and I know she is "Mommy's little Angel".
Any advice on how to handle this situation would be great!
Thank you for the responses!!! You have giving me some wonderful ideas and I am really going to try them this week. If it contiunes then I will tell the mom. Thank you again!!
Hey M. dear... My little man is at that stage too, but they are learning about "tattle Tongues" at school... Not sure what to tell you since I am in the same situation..
But I really like the other ladies idea of making the HUGE EAR.. I might have to do that!..
Thanks
M.
Tattling is very common amoung 5 year olds but even more so in that of an only child. Continue to be patiant, talk with her mother and try to come up with a solution you both can use to make peace both at school (daycare) and at home. Surely she is acting this way with her parents not just you.
I am a mother of a very creative only child and see this daily myself.
Hi I work at a daycare center and the tattling thing is very normal for kids. I see it in 3-5 year olds everyday.
I just tell the kids that all they need to worry about is themselves.. Not to worry about what thier friends are doing. and I dont know if this is right or not but I just tell them that and than tell em I dont want to hear anyone tattleing.. I wont listen to them when they do it... and most of em get it pretty fast and dont do it anymore...
My advice would be to tell her mom - most likely her mom has experienced the same or will soon! I'd also be nervous because if her mom isn't aware she is making up stories, you may be implicated in her next story! I teach K and have to teach kids the difference between reporting and tattling. I read the Nancy Carlson book 'How to Lose All of your Friends'. It talks about whining, tattling, not sharing, etc. and kids think it is funny but it gets the point across. I think a time out is reasonable for her reporting things that didn't happen. I am sure her mother would agree. I don't know anyone who wants their children to become comfortable telling thing that aren't true. I hope you get some other advice too!
I would talk to the mom! The sun and moon rise and set on my daughter as far as I'm concerned -- but I want to know if she's not behaving nicely!
In the classroom here are a few suggestions I've seen work -- you have lots more experience with this as a daycare provider, so you probably know all of these, but just in case there's something new:
My daughter's daycare teacher drew an enormous ear (she had a whole group of tattlers) and if she thought it wasn't something she really needed to hear either because it wasn't true, or because it wasn't something that neeed her intervention she would tell the kids to go tell it to "Ms. Ear". The kids thought it was brilliant. Both of my nephews and my daughter have gone through the tattling "phase" too. We've all found these three phrases to help: Are you sure you want to handle this that way? Can you solve this problem yourself? Is someone in danger? It got them all to think for themselves about when to come and get a parent. We also put items on time out if the kids were arguing over an item -- or both kids on a time out because we couldn't tell who was telling the truth. (Guys, the only thing I can tell is that you're not getting along and that usually takes two -- so to be fair, you're both on time out.) Generally the tattler wasn't happy to be punished too and found a better way to handle the situation. I hope these suggestions help a little.
As a mother of ten...five girls, five boys...I am just wondering if you can warn her that the next time she lies or tattles on someone, she'll be put in a "time-out" or deprived of something in some way..possible? I like first warning that while this has gone on in the past...from now on there'll be consequences. Also, can you teach her "thou shalt not lie?"
I do. Put the fear of God in them gently at a young age and it may guide them throughout life. We all need to fear God...then learn to love Him because His way is always blessed.
I don't know what disciplining her mother allows you to take.
Plus teach the little 4 yr. old that a "soft answer turnedth away wrath" so speak to the girl softly and there won't be yelling and all will learn the art of self control in speaking.
Just a couple of thots, hope they help...
B. in WI
Hello i dont know a lot about this but i did help a daycare provider out for about 6months. I do know that the tattling is an attention thing. The stories and creative might say that the child spends a lot of time entertaining herself. She may just not be use to being around other children or she just isnt getting any real attention at home. I am the mother of an almost 4 yr old boy. I also do daycare for 1 family. The oldest of the 3 girls is 5 and she has tattling issues. Her two sibblings are twin girls 14months. So I do know she is really in need of attention. The parents dont interact much with the children. Maybe consider talking to the mother or just let it go and hopefully it gets better. Good Luck,
S.
