K.Y.
why did he quit ministry??the Lord dont ask that much from people...and he dont give up on people..K.
Help! My Mom celebrates her 80th B-Day next wk and lives 5hrs away.
Normally not a huge problem but we're experiencing a MAJOR life change: my husband began redirecting his career & started back to graduate school last year, planning to work part time while in school, but had a heart attack last fall and cannot continue in ministry and is making an early retirement from the ministry (officially this month) and must find other work to keep us going till he finishes his degree (2 more yrs). So we are both trying to locate jobs in this economy...
My Bro and his wife are celebrating their 30th anniv 2wks after Mom's BD with a big party in another town 6 hrs away, lots of guests. Planned last year. Going to the party requires travel, hotel stays, eating out and gifts, etc. It's very important to me to attend, since I was unable to attend their wedding 30 yrs ago... as I was teaching and my husband was in the middle of finals.
I don't want to be a cheapskate, but I have only found a part-time job so far, and must have time off already to even attend the party. I feel like a heel not giving both special gifts because they all mean so much to me, but there is no way I can afford much and no way possible to make separate trips to celebrate each occasion. I don't want to just send flowers to Mom ... seems so little, and yet very pricey.
I am kicking myself for not having better prepared, but have encountered numerous bends in the road of our lives over the past 5 yrs including cancer, deaths of 3 of our parents, struggles with our daughter, atop the heart attack and career change.
Anyone with ideas for some one-of-a-kind gifts that will not break the bank nor require a great deal of time would be such a blessing!
Proverbs says there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors. Thanks in advance!
why did he quit ministry??the Lord dont ask that much from people...and he dont give up on people..K.
Hi C.,
Any of the scrapbook/collage type gifts would befine and not costly; also I like the ideas of wirting something personal about th recipient..
Could you stay with friends or relatives for either of the parties? Camp?
If you do stay in a motel, you can cut out the restaurant meals if you just bring your own food. If you can, book a place that gives free breakfast. For lunches and dinners, eat fruit, cheese, fresh veggies and/or sandwiches. You can bring a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter from home. In fact you can bring all the stuff from home. If you have a small cooler or your room has a fridge, you can add cold cereal and milk, yogurt, etc. For one weekend you can eat cold food. Or maybe there is a microwave somewhere on site--you could heat soup. Or take a hot plate from home (borrow from a friend or check thrift stores if you don't have one).
Look into staying in a youth hostel--you don't have to be college age. Check out www.hostels.com for info on whether you can pay the membership fee in installments--you may not even get to paying it in full, but you'd still get to stay (too complicated to go into here).
Do try to go if you can--you mention that you have lost 3 parents, don't miss a chance to see your mom.
A cheaper way to send flowers than paying the $15 delivery charge: Find out which florists are in the town where your mom lives. Call one directly and ask if they will do an order over the phone, and you pay using a credit card.
Good luck, have fun!
K. Z.
Hi, C.! How about everyone sending you a few photos for each of them, and you can put together a small album for them. I don't know anyone who doesn't love to look at pictures from their past. I have given lots of albums as gifts, and everyone just loves it! Good luck!
One of the best gifts I ever got was from a friend of mine it was a porcelian clock that I had admired for years, she cleaned it up and put new clock works in it and wrapped it up for my birthday.That was 15 years ago and it still to this day adorns my dining room on a shelf.My friend has cancer and when she is gone I will always have something special to remember her by.
I think people put too much into getting something extra special and spending money they really don't have to spend.At 80 your Mom should have everything she could possibly want out of life, maybe a gift certificate to a nice meal out would be nice for her and would be under $20. Your Brother has been married for 30 years, why would they need a gift, they should have anything they need or want , your being there should be enough. I'm not cheap I am practical, you don't spend what you don't have. I go to town once a week and if I see s omething I think someone would like I will buy it and save it for a birthday or whatever if I have the money to get it. Then when the occasion comes up I am prepared.My step Mother received new dish towels and pot holders for Mother's day and she loved them and needed them but hadn't found any she liked as she hates to shopjust like I do. So I spent the time and found her something special for her that didn't break the bank.My Father has a wood shop and he makes us 3 girls things in it as gifts, they are full of Love and we will keep them forever and pass them down to our children.Gifts come from the heart not some expensive store at the Mall.
Debbie
I have an idea for your mom—are there any old family photographs that could be restored? If you’re handy on the computer you can probably do it yourself. For Christmas, we always struggle with what to get my Father in Law because he already has everything he needs, so this past Christmas I took two very old and worn family photos: one of his mom when she was a kid in Italy and one of him and his two (now deceased) brothers growing up and I restored them on my computer using Microsoft Digital Image Suite (you could use Photoshop or whatever you have). I had them custom framed which was expensive, but they make very nice frames off the rack at Michaels or Hobby Lobby (use a coupon!). You could probably do the whole project for less than $20. Much to my shock, he actually started crying when I gave them to him! I thought he’d like them, but he liked them a lot more than I thought he would! Now they are proudly displayed on his mantel.
As for your brother, you have a little more time. Maybe you could do a similar-type thing—maybe get a picture of your parents’ wedding, a picture of his wife’s parents’ wedding, and a picture of your brother’s wedding, find a nice triple frame and get each of the pix printed in B&W or sepia so they match. Put their picture in the middle and the parents on either side. Call it a “Heritage Frame.” Depending on the frame you find, maybe you could label each picture with their wedding date and last name on the picture mat. Good luck!
Make a pretty box full of things from or about 1939(year of her birthday) ie. Gone With the Wind Premeired. MAybe find a nice coin minted that year. YOu could find a newspaper, maybe even of the day she was born.Inexpensive but shows ALot of thought
My suggestion would be to make either a collage of family pictures or frame a single picture that is meaningful to the family. My family loves pictures and always finds it to be a wonderful gift. You can usually find nice picture frames cheap. I don't know if you have a Hobby Lobby store near you, but they occassionally have their frames on sale for 50% off and sometimes have a coupon for 40% any regular priced item. Maybe your kids could create a handmade gift as well.
Hope this helps.
Hopefully I am not repeating.........
For my Grandmother's 80th b-day celebration last year, I started taking pictures in the morning and continued all day long. I was sure to get her with her children, grand children, great grand children, friends....her cake, balloons..., you get the picture! Anyway, before she left that night I had run out to Wal-Mart and loaded all the photos into the Kodak machine. They offer a hard cover photo book that you can caption the photos yourself for about 24 dollars. and it can be printed rather quickly. We gave it to her that night and had captured all teh fun memories of the day. She loved it...and loves sharing it with others.
What about a nice anniversary card and a gift card to their favorite ice cream parlor (cheaper than dinner certificate) or maybe coupons to go see a movie.....or maybe a beautiful indoor plant they can enjoy in there home....being there and being together is the best part of the celebration! Hopefully your family will understand how much effort you put into just being there for the special day.(S)
HAVE FUN!
Flowers. Either the kind they can plant or roses. Good luck.
On my in-laws 40th Wedding anniversary, we gathered up pictures from the day they were small up to date, of course that was so many years ago we had a photographer do the work for us and turn it into a VHS Tape adding music ect... Now with Power Point you can do it yourself. I also made a homemade album, putting the pictures together so they could look at them. I purchased a plain $1.00 school note book & pages for a photo album. It takes a yard of material, plus lace & quilt batting. I made copies of the pictures & had family members send me pictures. Hot glue the batting to the note book, & cover it with material and add the lace to the edges. I created a large heart out of card board & covered it with material, & glued it on the top of the notebook & add a picture of them together. You can put an old wedding picture in it, a wedding invitation, or a sweet poem about love lasting or Corinthians Love versus, ECT... By using a graphic's program type a special message of some sort for the front (I like this one writer unknown (Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.)) I have made them for weddings anniversaries, new babies. I have even gone to the Dollar Deals Store & purchased cheap photo albums & just added the material and extra pages. Your mother at her age would love something like that. When my mother in law died I made a picture to put in a frame, I used my Print Shop & made the background her favorite rose's, put her picture on it & the poem about knowing she was weary & sick ect..There are pictures with poetry such as to a special mother, or Love ECT ...simply use the graphics ECT... & add the poem pictures ECT. Buy a frame & a matte make the picture and 8 x 10 but then add the matte & make the picture bigger. Far as staying at the hotels go on line & join their rewards club & you can get good summer offers, such as stay so many nights and get one free. Stuff like that. If you’re driving map the route & check the area's for resteraunts. For $9.99, you can go to Entertainment.com & purchase a entertainment book that offers restaurants & motels ECT… discounts. Rewards.coms, helps for either airplane tickets or Hotel rooms, usairways.com, gives plane tickets, hotels, car rentals all at a discount while earning points. We visited Asheville, NC for our 30th Wedding anniversary, and we made reservations for a room at a nice Ramada, Jacuzzi, kitchenette for cooking ect ., living room with a couch for a bed, a balcony with furniture, a Jacuzzi and we stayed 4 nights and it cost us $65 a night, we did this on Priceline.com. I just simply run the search engine on Inexpensive travel, & homemade gifts. I hope this helps. The photo albums aren’t hard to make, even if you make them put the pages in them for them to fill, just put something special on the front, everyone has photo’s laying around in boxes & need photo albums. Staples or Office Depot, will make copies cheap. Something from the heart always matters, check the magazine Country Sampler, it has a lot of idea’s, you can get it anywhere or check on line, http://www.sampler.com or http://www.countrysampleronline.com/ Good Luck
If your mother likes fruit, send her an Edible Bouquet, a beautiful arrangement of fresh fruit.
Or put together a small photo collage or album for her.
At her age, most presents are redundant anyway unless she likes books or needs services of some kind that you could arrange, or car washes.....
Another suggestion would be a CD or DVD of an old TV show or entertainer that she liked(s).
Or gift card for her favorite restaurant or store etc.
As for the anniversary, you can only do what you can do, and in your circumstances for you to make yourself feel guilty is non-productive to say the least.
Send a nice card and a gift card for a dinner out and write you best wishes and support for a couple that have stayed together for 30 years!
Snapfish.com and Walmart both have the ability to make magnets out of pictures. We made magnets for the grandparents out of digital pictures and they really liked it.
Also IF your mom does a lot of mailing stamp.com will allow you to make real live stamps from a digital picture. I got my 90 year old grandmother this for her birthday and she had a ball mailing her friends using her grandchildren and her face as the real stamp on the front.
Another idea is from Amazon "The Story of a Lifetime" is a book that you fill out to write down your life. It asks questions like "what was the best thing about your childhood" and "what do you remember about your grandparents" in addition to the favorite color and favorite flower stuff. It's about $38 but they have $20 ones too that are smaller. My grandmother has since passed and the whole family treasures the book since she filled it out a year before she died. We all found out stuff we never knew. Don't get the one "All about me" there are a few suggestive questions in it but not in the "Story of a Lifetime" one.
Hope this helps. Don't work yourself up too much, it will be OK. The gift is the thing that means something. My favorite wedding present came from my now brother in law who was a student when we got married 15 yrs ago. Of all the fancy stuff, we still have his $20 present and I smile everytime I see it.
One Christmas I got my grandfather a pair of cashmere socks. They were $30 for 1 pair but he was thrilled. He was in his 80's and didn't need more stuff so a high end splurge on something he wouldn't buy for himself but use was a treat and one that I could afford.
Also for no cost write what you love and treasure about your mom in a small notebook and give it to her or what you admire about your brothers marriage over the years. I once wrote a note to my 5th grade teacher when I was 36 years old(no income for 9 months at the time) b/c she was retiring and she had truly been the best teacher I ever had. It was a 2 page letter on why I thought she was the best teacher. I didn't go to her funeral but they had the letter out at the funeral! I never imagined that would happen. I never heard anything after I sent it but apparently she treasured it.
I hope these help, God bless
I just made a great Autograph/Scrapbook for my daughters graduation. I took pictures of her in different stages of her life and put 1 or two on each page and left room for messages from people attending the party.
You could use the same idea with either of the events that you have coming up. If possible ask for letters or short notes from other family members to include on the pages.
I hope things work out well for you and your family. Keep the faith and I'm sure you will be fine.
This is not cheap. I would think that your brother and his wife would be understanding of the situation, and be thrilled that you were able to make it to the party since you couldn't on their wedding day. Anyone who doesn't appreciate your presence at their special day has their priorities in the wrong place. Then, when time allows it, you can get them something special that you couldn't afford now.
For mom, I really like the idea of organizing a card party. I have done that for a couple of people, and it is always a very nice surprise.
R.
Photos and nice frames are great gifts. There are so many online editing places now. You can scan your picture in, do a little editing and make it look amazing. Most times the prints are cheap to order and you can always find nice frames at Kohl's on sale.
http://www.picnik.com/ Is one of the websites to edit. Get a picture of your mom when she was little, or a picture of the two of you. Scan it in, do some fun editing and WHAM!!! Perfect gift!
Same for your brother. Find a wedding picture or a picture of the two of them. That kind of stuff always shows how much they mean to you.
Try to book your hotel online, if you don't already have reservations. Most of the times, you can get really really good deals. If you're going to be there for a few days, maybe see how costly a room with a small kithenette would be. You would have a fridge and a microwave at least. Also, see if the hotel has free breakfast. That will save you some money. If there is a fridge and micro, you can eat lunch in the room too. That would only be one meal out a day then. That would save you some money in the long run. One time I booked a room online and showed up a few hours early to check in. They wound up upgrading my room because they didn't have what I had booked available.
Have fun!
The online Kodak Gallery has a lot of great gifts that you make out of pictures. I just got a mousepad for my father in law that was 10 bucks and it had all the grandkids on it. He loved it because he works on the computer a lot. They also have blanket, mugs, etc. Things Remembered at the Dayton Mall also has nice, inexpensive things that you can personalize. Just a thought.
When my Great Uncle turned 75, we asked family and friends to send cards to him. We were trying to get 75 cards. And it was a surprize, he was getting cards from old friends he has not hear of in years. From kids in the family to adults, it was a lot of fun. He still talks about it and still pulls out the cards once in awhile. it was very cost effective, just keeping it a surprize was even more fun. He was wondering where all these cards were coming from...
C.,
The best gifts are from the heart. What about journaling your favorite memories for your Mom, you could include pictures, scrapbook if that's your thing. I'm sure your Mom would love it. That could also be an idea for your brother and sister-in-law as well?
Good luck!
Maybe a photo gift for Mom...Walgreens, CVS and Kodak all have collage photo gifts. I've used them several times.
And for your brother and his wife...it's been 30 years, so their kids are probably all grown or moved out (maybe...I see you have been married just as long and have an 8 y/old son! Forgive the stereotyping, but it has helped me with my suggestion :)) Maybe something that may help with the "empty nest-rediscovering each other" phase of their lives: a gift certificate for a couple dance lessons, maybe something youthful like a mini-golf/race car track, or to a fancier restaurant they normally wouldn't treat themselves to.
Best of luck!
Check out www.personalcreations.com for one-of-a kind special gifts with good prices!
Chances are if your family knows the situation they will understand. There isn't really much you could give someone that is 80 that is more preccous then time with the ones she loves. I would suggest a photobook or scrapbook of pictures of you and your family over the years. As far as your brother gift cards for dinner and a movie would be nice. Goodluck and enjoy the time with your family.