Could You Be the Breadwinner?

I would be totally fine with it. The problem is, HE wouldn't be. Not in the antiquated gender roles, kind of way. Personality wise, he wouldn't be good at it. (Admitted, by him.) He is not patient enough, and bores far too easily. He is also not social enough to take my son and socialize him. If he HAD to, absolutely we both wouldn't care. I wouldn't view him any differently as my spouse, my friend, the father of my child, and a man.

I don't want to work a typical job again, so I really hope it never comes to that!!

Well, that's a pretty huge *if* on the money earning. Not unless they started paying preschool teachers the same rate my husband makes being an IT guy.

I wouldn't be happy with my husband being at home, but not because of gender roles. It's because I'm a pretty introverted person. I LIKE being at home. I don't mind doing dishes, love taking care of the garden... I LIKE puttering around. And, I should add this, it's not a lack of confidence in my husband's parenting that inspires me to be the SAHparent. Although I am a far better cook, it's really more about my personal preferences.

Does it sometimes make me crazy, going all day with very little adult interaction? Yup. Did working sometimes make me crazy too? Yup.

The grass is never really, truly greener. It's just different grass. That's how I see it. When my husband was home for six months while I worked (had an in-home preschool at that time), it was fine. We did get in each other's space a little more, and I did enjoy having more parenting support. Like I said, the grass is just different. The trick is to be happy with what you have.

I AM the primary breadwinner in my home. My husband works, but I make the salary that puts the food on the table. I am extremely proud that I provide for my family. I hope I am a good role model for my daughter one day.
I told my husband on many occasions, when things got rough around his work, that he could quit and take care of the kids. He was honest and said he didn't think he was cut out for it. lol I'm ok with that too.

I don't follow your logic.

Your implication is that if the girls are not okay with their husbands being the breadwinner than the girls must think that the husband would be a slacker.

Your question does not necessarily have to be an "If A than B" proposition.

It also causes me to ask: how old are these kids, why are you asking them this, and what is your proposed outcome or what preconceived notions are you planting in their minds?

There is a myriad of other reasons why one parent chooses to stay home over the other parent so it is not an "if A than B" answer.

Most people have preconceived antiquated notions about these traditional gender roles. Just because 1 person goes to work, doesn't mean they don't do anything at home, and vice versa. A family needs to manage their paid and non-paid work as a family, and the traditional 1 parent at home, and 1 parent working is becoming less and less common.
Those boys who say they'd love to stay at home, are thinking it's recess 24x7. They aren't realizing that SAH parents are changing diapers, cleaning house, folding laundry, cooking, chasing kids, teaching them, entertaining. And that staying at home can be very isolating - you're subject to nap times, baby's developmental constraints, disciplining children. Your time is not your own as a stay at home parent.
Conversely, the working world isn't always a hard slog of frustrating work every day. Your time is still not your own, but working can be very fulfilling in non-monetary ways too. And how many young people are exposed to a wide variety of career options? Chances are, if trends continue, those young girls WILL grow up to be the primary breadwinners in their families!
A better conversation for kids to learn is how to manage a partnership in a family where everyone's contributions are valued, chores need to be managed by equal contributors, not necessarily 100% inside and 100% outside the home. Every household works a little bit differently, and kids should be taught to figure out ways to come up with creative solutions to whatever circumstances they find themselves in.

Well we both work because we want to, we could survive on either income easily. Thing is the kids don't need us any more than they already have us.

If we had more kids, not happening but if, he would probably stay home because I have more earning potential.

The thing is you are talking to kids who don't even know what they will be when they grow up so there is no way they can make rational decisions. I would imagine if you asked who wants to be a doctor it would be about half the class. Correlate that with their current grades and you should have a clear indication of whether they are answering based on reality, ya know?

I'm the "breadwinner" in our family. My hubby quit his job before our first child (now 8 years old) was born so he could stay home with the kids. My job just provided more security and better benefits. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Edited to add: I wanted to add that my hubby is far from being a slacker. He does all the cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and most of the cooking. I literally get to come home from work, eat dinner with my family and then enjoy time with them instead of coming home and working more. I am spoiled and wouldn't ever give up this arrangement voluntarily.

I do agree that most people think my husband is a slacker and some people have even said so...I challeng them to walk ONE day in my hubby's shoes, cause I know they wouldn't want a second day.

My husband is a stay-at-home Dad. I am only not happy with being the "breadwinner" it because I did not agree to it. If we had agreed together, or if was simply how things worked out despite what we'd agreed to, it would be cool.

My husband and I BOTH wanted to be stay-at-home parents, but instead of TELLING me he wanted that, he and I "agreed" that he'd quit the job he hated, look for work, and then when he found a job he wanted, we'd switch. Then - he refused to look until after our third (and last) child was born.

I asked his Mom for advice on this and she told me to be more patient (after 6 years and I was pregnant w/ child 3 at an "advanced maternal age"). She also implied it was OK if I never got what I wanted as long as he got what he wanted. I shouldn't have been surprised, I suppose - she is supported by her 80-something year old MOM. Grrr....

SO - I think EITHER parent has as much right to stay home as the other. But I think NO parent has the right to do what my spouse did to me - basically FORCING me into the role of provider by pretending to agree to something else. I am not sure I can ever get over it either.

I can earn the money - I'm COOL with earning the $ - I am not cool with how it went down, and I think there a more than a few Moms like me.

All that said, it's NOT "traditional" for a Mom to stay home - prior to the 50s, it was not uncommon for everyone who was old enough to work. And even now, if your family is not middle class, you may still not have the option of one of you being a stay-at-home parent.

ETA: I might have adjusted better if he werre better at managing our home - as it is, he's set modeled the way for our kids to drop their stuff, make messes, and walk off...

Funny, all my bread winner girl friends must have had mentors like you telling them that higher education, career, and letting husbands raise their kids was the way to go. Not only CAN they do it, they ARE doing it! They also resent the hell out of their husbands. I think its great when parents make it work out so one of them raises kids. Not all moms thrive in domestic life or want to stay home and love that their husbands are willing to. But i think most of us fall into another category- we want to be the one's who nurture our children and take care of our homes. Turns out our careers weren't as fulfilling as society told us they would be. We see our husbands taking over domestic life and not doing it quite to our standards. We're scratching our heads and realizing we got duped!
When I made the decision in my early twenties to go into dentistry, my fiancé at the time said "fine, I'll stay home and raise kids." In that moment I felt robbed of what I knew was my true calling in life- being mother to my children. Thank God I knew myself well enough to know that this role reversal would leave me resentful. Sadly, while many woman are resentful by this role reversal, they realize it after its too late.
Are these men slackers? Some of them are. My friends' husbands weren't exactly keeping up with the housework and healthy meals, so after a long days work, mom still had lots to do, and dad had fed the kids hot dogs and fast food. Some aren't slackers at all. They fully take over domestic life and do a good job of it. They just have less earning potential than their wives, so they are the logical one to stay home if parents want to avoid day care.
But i think that its great that there are so many little girls out there that know they don't want to be the primary bread winner- if they know that about themselves they won't end up in marriages where they feel resentful.

My husband and I dream about the day when just one income will be sufficient. We made a deal, as soon as one of our incomes reaches our goal, then the other one will get to stay home. We can't wait for the day when chores & cleaning can happen during the day, and not dominate the weekends and weekday evenings. OMG! What is life like when you have time for fun stuff on the weekends and not just laundry?

I could have been the one to stay on the job. I made more than my husband when we married. But my maternal instinct is too strong and I am too selfish about wanting to see them as much as possible to have let my husband stay home!
It has nothing to do with antiquated notions about a woman's role. If that described me, I would not have been one of the first female, registered professional engineers in Texas.
Besides he loves his job.

I would be completely happy with it. In fact, we have discussed it and are open to it in the future. I honestly think he would be the better SAHP.

I don't see where anyone said a man is a slacker if he raises his children. Just because the group of girls said they wouldn't want their husband to stay home doesn't mean that they think those who do are slackers. Maybe they, themselves, want to stay home. Did you ask the girls that question?

I was the primary breadwinner of our family for years. My husband stayed home with our oldest for the first 6 months of her life, and they both loved it. When my husband went back to work, he still had a job where he was able to get out of the office early and pick the kids up from school. Only recently have our roles reversed (it was a difficult transition for me!).

When I was in school, I doubt I'd have thought of myself as a primary breadwinner. The career I ended up in was not one I had studied for in school; I'd never have imagined taking the path I have. I think many women who end up as primary breadwinners might not have imagined ourselves in that role - just as many stay at home dads probably didn't imagine themselves in that role growing up, either.

Our culture is still very male-dominated, and kids aren't stupid. Girls know that statistically, they will be paid less than their male counterparts, and they see in our culture that women's rights are under constant attack from conservative politicians. Why, in that case, *would* they imagine themselves at the head of the family, financially speaking? Those of us who end up in that position had every advantage life has to offer - top-notch education, being fortunate enough to be hired in a job that sets us on a career path where we CAN make that kind of money, being fortunate enough to be hired at a company that is stable so we can learn our craft appropriately, having the sort of personality where you don't care what people say about you, while also being perceived as "nice" enough not to piss off the male establishment... everything has to be just so for it to happen in the world of business. If you find yourself in that position against the odds, then you make it work! If you've also been fortunate enough to marry a man who supports you, then the two of you make it work, and maybe that means he puts in time as Super Dad while you claw your way up the career ladder. And then later, when he asks you to return the favor, you do. It's not something you plan for all your life, it's something that happens, and you make the best of it.

I could earn the money.
Before I reduced my hours, I actually made more $ (not counting OT) than my spouse.
This works better for us.
It's nice to know I could support myself OR my family if I ever needed to or wanted to, though.

I would not have wanted to do it during my pregnancy/breastfeeding years, but beyond that yes, I would, in theory.
I say in theory because my husband makes a LOT of money doing an intense, sales driven job in finance. I could NEVER make that kind of money, my skills are simply not as valuable in the marketplace.
ETA: I should add that I don't think my husband would enjoy being home and doing all the domestic stuff, he just doesn't have that kind of personality. But God bless the dads that do!

i'd be perfectly ok with that.
i've actually thought about this option lately if I wanted to have another kid
the only crappy thing would be in the begining if you're breastfeeding you'd have to pump and work. i';d feel a little gipped in that deal

Where I live there are many SAHD's and many part time Dads etc. Or a Dad who works Wed to Sun and keeps the little one Monday and Tues. Or a dad who stays home for the first year, then goes back to work. My husband has done the SAHD, the Work at night, stay home with baby during the day Dad, the work during part time preschool, some evenings and weekends Dad, so our little one has never been in day care. While my salary is barely above his, I am the one with healthcare coverage so we had no choice really as to who would continue working full time, it had to be me. Its been a great choice, made him very close to our little one, taught him how to do a lot more around the house, running errands, etc. Now that he's working more hours, I feel we are sharing both breadwinning and child raising equally.
Unless you were asking teens, I doubt they have a concept what it means to be a primary breadwinner vs taking care of the kids, even teens may be thinking of jobs with little contributions to society, McDonalds vs doctor and babysitting (no sick children, no sleepless nights, no Dr apts no major decisions, just cute kids!)

I'm doing it, and while I like probably 20% of it, I'm the better housekeeper and wish I was home with them!

I would do it.. but I don't have the earning power which is terrifying actually.

I would be able to do it. However, my husband would not. He loves working and often says he doesn't know how I can stay home all day with the kids. There are days, I don't know how I stay home either.

I consider myself the "breadwinner" because I earn 60-75% of our household income and carry all of our benefits. We're not quite at the point where we can live on just my income but if we could, I'd be fine with that.

I am the breadwinner. My husband stays home and looks after the children. I would prefer it if he worked part time.

Either way works for me. Sometimes I think that depending on your personalities, one parent is better suited than the other for staying home and going out into the workforce. My husband and I have discussed it and I would love to be the bread winner and he'd love to stay home.

Ha! Funny you should ask. Before my husband and I were married we actually talked about this. He said he would love to be a SAHD and raise the kiddos. It hasn't worked out that way in real life (sadly) but we were both totally ok with it.
It played to our strengths at the time and still does.

I would not be ok with it. I know it works for some people and that's great. I wouldn't like it, and he would hate it! Now if he wanted to do it, that would have to be another discussion, and a difficult one. I really just love being home.

I will say the friends we have who have SAHDs really love it, and it works perfectly for their family. It's just not for us.

I'd be fine with it, but for now it's taking both of our incomes to live the lifestyle that we want.

I wonder if the girls you asked weren't exactly ready to answer the question given that they were still children (I'm assuming teens?) themselves. It's hard to envision the future when you're still young. I guess I don't understand your leap from girls saying they wouldn't want their future husbands to quit jobs to stay home and saying those guys would be slackers? The two aren't related. Is it that YOU think that men who stay home are slackers, and you're putting that emotion on all the girls you talked to?

It depends. If I had one of my dream jobs, then I wouldn't care if Justin stayed home with the kids because I would be doing something that I loved.

If I had a job that I hated, or even just an average job, I would be selfish and make him work while I stayed home with the kids :)

Nope I would not be cool with my husband staying at home with the kids. There are a few on here which is totally cool, but I would be super jelous that it wasnt me with the kids. And that jelousy would probably end up in some other major issues. I am not a career gal though I work to get the bills paid. Plus knowing my husband I would still have the same role I have now, cleaning house and cooking dinner. He would do great with the kids but as far as housekeeping and cooking eh......

I was making more than my husband when I left my job to stay home.

He could do it...but I feel I do it better, as in I put the kids first...he puts having a straight/cleaned out house first...

We kid each other that the house would be immaculate and the kids would be wearing rags and starving...

I would do it...some days it would be preferred...lol

We both work full time. I make more than he does with my annual salary, but he also draws a military retirement, so that puts him above me. Not by much, and if I had gotten a raise this year I'd be on top even with both of his. However, the dollars don't matter. I'd love to be a SAHM, sometimes. He'd love to be a SAHD, sometimes. We both enjoy our jobs and what we do. I don't think I'd like mine so much if I didn't have the flexibility I have. Same for him.

So I think this question is best answered under the right circumstances.

For me, it depends on how old the kids are. As infants, I'd rather be the one at home. Once they get past that infant stage (and my husband would be more able to handle them) I would be more okay to go out and get myself a high paying job with my degree in applied math. :) As it is, he's in the military, and I get to stay home with my girls. I'm SO glad I get to do this, even though they drive me nuts a lot of the time.

If I had to take a guess, I'd say that since girls are more emotionally driven in the first place, that most of these girls can't imagine not being the one staying home if there is the ability for one parent to do so. I know it's hard for me to imagine not being the one to get to stay home, although if it's a choice between my husband staying home or neither of us, I would certainly choose my husband.

I think that i have always wanted to be home with my children, so the thought of working and having my husband take care of them would make me really sad! I have never had a goal of being anything BUT a fantastic mom.
I could work full time if I wanted and probably make better money than he does, but I want to be home.
If, God forbid, something were to happen and he couldn't work anymore than I certainly could. But, not because I want to, because I would need to.
I bet a LOT of the boys (what age are they?) who said they would be willing to stay home have no idea what they are talking about. Sometimes I think having a full time job out of the house and having someone at home take care of everything else would make my life easier....but I wouldn't trade what I got.
L.

I would be completely fine with it, and my husband would love it! He's already fabulous with the kids and helping around the house. Unfortunately, as a teacher I will never make enough money for him to stay home. If he did stay home with the kids, he would be extremely involved in volunteering at school and church, in addition to seeing that our home ran smoothly. He likes to stay busy. :)

What a lovely dream!

I would be way too jealous of my husband if he got to stay home with the kids while I worked. We were about equal earners when we had kids, so I don't think who earned more was ever the issue. Ultimately, me getting laid off is what put me in the position to stay home with the kiddos.

I wouldn't mind, if I could trust him to do what I want. I would still consider myself more of an expert on my child because I am more in tune with it, so I trust my own judgment better.

My husband would be great in spurts--a day here, a morning/afternoon there. He needs to be out making it happen, though. He's a salesman and needs to feel his hand on the pulse, so we don't have that issue.

LOL... That was the original "plan" when I was pregnant. (My ex-husband had a thing about 'plans'. As in, nothing we planned ever happened, because he'd change his mind at the last minute).

I'm SUPER glad he did, in this case, though. Because being a SAHM was one of my biggest fears, and my FAVORITE decision/time in my life... bar none. I LOVED being a stay at home mom. Loved. Loved. Loved. Even with my jerky husband. I can only imagine how good it might have been with someone who, you know, helped at all instead of making everything harder.

NOW???

Well, I'm unlikely to ever get married again, or have more children. But in THEORY?

I don't know.

I know how much I loved being a SAHM for my son, so if my theoretical husband really wanted to be a SAHD for our theoretical children... I know myself enough to know that I would bend over backwards to make that happen for him. That's just what I do. ((When everyone is bending over backwards, it all works synergistically. Back breaks when it's only 1 person doing it, though). I don't know how I'd feel, though. I can only imagine, knowing EXACTLY what I'm missing out on, that it would be very hard to give up. But I suspect it would be equally hard to make someone I loved miss out, if it's also what they really wanted.

The 'being taken care of' v "taking care of" thing, though, isn't an issue. In no small part because raising kids is WORK. Mentally, emotionally, physically exhausting work, with terrible hours!!! Also, at least around here it saves $1600-2500 per month, per kid. Have 3 or 4 kids, and that's pushing 100k per year a SAHP is "earning" by SAVING the family the cost of daycare.

When there's a working parent, and a stay at home parent... BOTH parents are working. Just 2 very different jobs.

The answers you got seem to indicate that both the girls and boys would like to stay home. Not sure who would earn the $$ in that case.

Did you ask the boys how many would be willing to work harder so that their partner could stay home with the kids while they miss out on that extra time with their kids. Maybe neither girls nor boys want that role.

Did the girls think it was their 'right' to stay home and be financially supported or were they not interested in giving up their careers either?

Yes, there are still a LOT of double standards. Personally, I would never expect DH, an adult, to give up his job and be financially supported by me. Nor would I ever expect the reverse. We both work - that gives us both equal time with our son. Neither one of us considers themselves the 'primary' parent. And DS is as likely to call for daddy as for mommy, no matter what he needs.

We work equivalent hours, are in the same profession and earn the same amount of money. So it doesn't make me the primary breadwinner, but then again, neither is DH.

I am a SAHM and I would be okay if the tables were turned. However, I enjoy being a SAHM and I don't think hubby would enjoy it as much. Also, I have a Master's Degree in Education--so hubby makes 2-3x what I would make.

My brother was a SAHD for a year in 2001. He did not want to get a nanny until she was 1 and his wife did not want to be a SAHM. He loved it! He's always been a super hands-on dad!

As it is now, I am bringing home more bread, but not enough for DH to be SAHD. However, he does get a taste of it because he is employed in a school system that gives him about 10 days during winter break, spring break and several weeks in the summer. The only down side is that I get a bit jealous hearing all the fun and educational things they do when I am at work :o(
To answer your question, I don't know if I could get over the jealousy of it not being me....I am sure I would. He is quite great with our DD!

Mine did, with 3 little ones. And until recently, he has been home with all of them.

We both work full time. But I am the bread winner, I have the health benefits and retirement benefits, so if it comes down to it, he quits.

I would be the bread winner. I was a single parent who worked and went to college. When me and my husband were dating I made more money than him and he didn't like it. Idiot. After marrying, my husband wanted me to be a stay at home mom, like his mommy was. I did it cuz I could use a break after 8 years. Then living in a military town there were no real jobs for wives unless you had a degree or something. So I stayed home. I couldn't let my husband be the stay at home dad. He's useless with the children over all. He has no patience. He's all about his time or fun time. So I wouldn't work unless he was working too because everything is up to me to take care of. God forbid if something happened to me. I truly want my brother and his wife to take my kids if something happens to me, lol!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I was 30 when I married the first time. I worked full time, made good money, owned a condo and had a new car. My husband, not so much. He lived with his parents and had an entry level job. I told him if he wanted to be with me, he better get a better job. He did. But for a LONG time, I made more than he did but then he ended up with a salary AND commission so his pay was higher than mine. But I still worked full time and when we had our 2 kids, they were in daycare. I was not a good SAHM.

Now however, I'm remarried, my kids are 13 (tomorrow) and 9 and I'm home during the day. Technically, I own an insurance agency, but my husband makes good money and wanted me home for the kids. So I work part time as needed but am here when the kids are...which is really nice.

I have never had a problem working full time in a corporate world and if it was a situation that my husband either wanted to be a SAHD or we NEEDED him to, then I would be fine with it. But it would depend on if HE wanted to and more importantly, would do a good job at it. Not every SAHparent is a good one. =)

OOOHHH I'd love to switch it just for the opportunity for my husband to experience first hand what I have to deal with day in and day out. He appreciates me, but I don't think he has a true sense of what REALLY goes down while he's at work. There is no rest for the weary, which he totally doesn't get. He's asked me before why I haven't watched some shows that I've recorded on the dvr while I'm home. Uh - there's no time honey when you have kids "needing" you every 5 seconds!

Plus, working would give me the opportunity to communicate with adults more frequently and get out of kid mode for a change. :)

Great question!

We both work full- time. Yes, I would have a problem with him being staying at home, he would be next to worthless and would do the bare minimum and at the same time not earning any money. Would I want to stay home, you bet I would, I hate the stress of my job on top of everyday life. But that requires a move out of state and a decrease in lifestyle. feel sorry for the 18-24 year olds.....too many men who want to stay home and women who prefer they work

My brother is a stay at home dad and I am very proud of him. They're doing what's best for their family, and he's very well known to be anything BUT a slacker. I think he's awesome, and I think my sil is awesome for how well she does her job.....which she would NOT be able to do without my brother. She is very dependent on him to be an excellent example, teach them, coach them, plus all a sahp does, since she works absolutely ridiculous hours sometimes. (early morning to late evening, sometimes late nights, and lots and lots of business trips....she's very successful and is vice president of a very well known national company, and I'm in awe of her, but she just cannot be a "traditional" mom and do all that her job entails). I'd like to add that my brother started his own business and was very successful in something that was unheard of for his age, but sold it and walked away to be a dad to his fiance's child, and now their 2 year old boy too.

For my situation: before children, working full time and hard, I earned about $135k LESS than my husband currently does, so in that sense, um, NO I don't wanna be the breadwinner since he can bring home much, much more than I. If he brings home the bacon, I'll cook it up well though! At the same time, my husband has said a million times that while he LOVES our children and enjoys hanging out with them, he could not have the patience, desire, or ability to stay sane as a sahd. The kids would drive him nuts, he'd be in a foul mood, and he doesn't have the same creativity and wouldn't take them to do the fun things we do, or whatever. So for us, it works for BOTH of us, for him to work and me to be a "mostly" sahm. He says he is so successful and able to do well at his job because I am so successful and able to do well at mine.....and I fully agree. It's a team effort and we both play the parts that compliment our strengths best.

If I had the schooling and the ability to earn a decent income, I would feel just find letting my husband take care of our daughter. He has proven to me, time and again, that he is a capable, smart and empathetic caregiver. He has taken care of me in my lowest moments, and I trust him with all that I hold most dear in this world. I just wish I had the ability to help out our family in a more financial way. We're struggling right now because he lost his job two years ago and hasn't been able to find anything comparable. We were treading water the first year and a half. Now it feels more like drowning.

That is what we are working towards. My husband works at home and I have an outside the home career. Our goal is to have him go part time in the next few years.

I love that he is home and he is all for me having a career and being the breadwinner. Just hasn't happened as fast as we want. We are getting closer though.

ETA: I just want to add that I'm not jealous of the time he gets with the kids...
There are other ways to spend time with the kids than just being a SAHM parent. There is volunteering for boy/girl scouts, coaching. I get a lot of one on one time with my kids and my husband. It's great...

He is better suited for staying home/working from in his case than I am. We tried...didn't go well. But it makes us happy! And I for one love seeing happy families out...and you never know "how they function"!

Aside from the first year when I needed to be home to breastfeed I suppose I could have been the one to go to work and be the breadwinner. Of course I would have been making less money because I would have interupted my career twice to take a year at home to brestfeed. I highly suspect that if my husband was staying home with the boys they would have spent a whole lot of time watching tv and playing video games. Anyway, I think we just kind of did what came naturally to us.

In 1999 when I left my job on Wall Street to have my daughter, my W2 for the year said a little over 80K - and I was only an Executive Assistant. Granted, those nice little 20K bonus packages aren't there any more but I was darn proud to be earning that amount. When I was pregnant, DH and I discussed at length the possibility of him staying home after the baby was born instead of me. It would have been the smarter financial move at the time.

After DD was born, she decided to not sleep. Ever. I quit my job and saved what was left of my sanity. I've never regretted that decision. DH would have made a great SAHD. All we knew was that we wanted one of us to be home with DD through her younger years. I'm still milking it and she's 13 now.