We recently moved to a new Community and live poolside, so there are a lot of the 'usual' swimmers and sunbathers out there. Anyway, I invited about six units to come over for a BBQ lunch in two weeks. Mind you - I've NEVER met these people, other than the courteous "Hello" at the pool.
I have the menu planned, how I'm going to set up the patio and Living Room...I have no ideas about conversation!!! Of course, beyond the introductions...what do you think would be good? I will totally stay away from politics, as I'm not very knowledgable in that area and would bring nothing to the table.
We are Christians and super active in our church and the school the girls attend (which is part of the church). But we're not the kind to yell "Turn or Burn"...we might share where we attend and invite them...but nothing more. We usually 'feel' out people as we don't like to be offended, we don't want to offend anyone.
World Cup will be over, I think? We love baseball and attend the local 2A games as often as we can. I'm a stay at home Mom, hubby works FT, our girls are into music, sports and acting (which takes up a lot of MY time). We do a lot of outreach projects to our community and less fortunate (homeless shelters, foster children, lower income, etc.) which we love to do and always invite people to go with us.
I don't know...any thoughts? What are good conversations? Food? Weather (boring)? It's only going to be 2 - 3 hours...It's lunch, but we're open to any one staying as long as they want...I just want to meet everyone and get to know my neighbors.
Help Mamas!!!
I agree with KansasMom and Sue, just focus on getting to know them and everything should flow just fine =)
My first reaction is....RELAX!!! Don't feel like you have to have a list of topics written on the palm of your hand to throw out there when there is a lapse in conversation!!!
Concentrate on getting to know your neighbors...ask question...Where are you from? What kind of work do you do? What do you enjoy doing here in town? Do you play any sports?
My guess is that the conversation will flow naturally...maybe a lot of them already know each other, at least casually and will be very comfortable with each other.
I think you are wise to avoid politics...I would also avoid religion!!! I am very involved in my church too but I try not to make my religion a center of conversation unless I am with a group of friends who are also involved in church. I know that we are supposed to share the Gospel, but I also know how uncomfortable I feel when someone tries to convince me that their take on religion is better than mine. I try to let my Christianity show through my actions and the way I treat others.
Have fun...relax and enjoy your afternoon with your neighbors!!
People like to talk about themselves. Since you don't know them, conversations can be helped along by asking interested questions. Here are some general topics:
R - relationships (who are those people close to them in their lives)
O - occupation (what do they do for work)
A - activities (what do they do for fun outside of work)
D - drive (what are their goals and ambitions)
Listen closely and continue to ask interested questions. Being a good listener can leave people with the impression that you are a great conversationalist!
We are in the south.. "Who are your people?".. Hee, hee..
Just be yourself and ask what you want to know. I always introduce myself as saying," I talk alot, so I hope I do not drive you crazy." That way they have a heads up. you could think of a nice way to say, "I am so glad you came over, I have really wanted to meet you." Use your own words. That makes them feel special and it is the truth.
Where are you originally from? How long have ya'll lived here? Do you work outside of the home?? How long have you been married? What college did you attend? How old are your children? Where were they born? Did you always want to be in that profession?
Do you all have any big plans the rest of the summer?
You will do great. I LOVE that you initiated this event, I bet they do too..
I'd love to have a neighbor like you. You sound very nice! I'm sure the conversations will just flow and I wouldn't worry too much about it.
When you say six units, do you mean families? Or are you inviting six individuals, couples? Kids involved? If it's all the women, I would say that a fun thing is to make up a bunch of cards that have fun questions on them that would allow you to share about yourselves - "My favorite month is __________ because ______________" or "Use three adjectives to describe the person to your right"
If I got the feeling that you had me over to invite me to your church, thereby insinuating that your place of worship was somehow better than mine, possibly someplace I attended for many years, that would be the end of any possible friendship. Unless you know that these people share your beliefs (all of them) and attend your church, religion is just as much a topic to avoid as politics
Maybe let them lead the conversation. Since you are the host, you want everyone to be comfy, so by letting choose the conversation it lets them discuss what they are comfy talking about. If its something you are not comfy talking about, hope there is someone else standing there so you can kindly excuse yourself to flip burgers, pour drinks, or whatever else comes to mind. Usually people who are invited to functions like this where everyone may not know each other, just keep the conversations simple. Since it is at your home, I'm sure people will ask you questions and then you have something to talk about. I think its a wonderful idea to get to know your neighbors.
My whole married life was military, we moved and ate different kinds of foods, and were around people of different cultures. Ask where these people have lived, and what they did there.
As a person who dreads small talk, the idea of having so many "unknowns" in my space makes me want to puke. You are a bold one. I enjoy Table Topics (http://www.tabletopics.com/). They come in different categories, for different groups. I have Original, Girls' Night Out, Family, Couples. Look through them and see which you think would be appropriate for your group.
My first thought was wow she invited ppl she dosent know...what if they are preditiors! I guess thats what I get for being married to a cop! :P You most likely want to gear the conversation about them. Ask questions like, how many kids do you have. Are there any great locations I need to know about. Great mom and pop dinners? Those sort of things usually get the ball rolling. I do better with a small group. It takes me about thirty mins to get comfortable with a big group.
Good for you for inviting people over to get to know them!!! That will help you get adjusted to your new community so much faster. I have hosted parties, gone to parties, gone to brand new schools, joined a new organization....all that. In my observation, trying to work hard at conversation makes it more awkward than just letting it "flow." Every group usually has one outgoing person (and it doesn't have to be you) that keeps things moving along.
Relax & Enjoy!
