Help! I think my daughter thinks her mommy is boring. She constantly wants to be at my sister's house because there are other kids there, lots of kids. When I ask her about going home, she says "no mommy, I stay here and play". I do entertain her at home, i.e., games, playdoh, coloring, reading, but I cannot entertain her all the time. She does a good job at one-on-one but I'm beginning to think that maybe another little one in the house would be more company for her. But at the same time, approaching 40 and being a bit overweight is a scary issue also.
Hi N.-
Regarding your concern on age, I became pregnant for the first time right after my 40th birthday, and just delivered my second child two weeks ago- just a couple weeks shy of my 42nd b-day.
As the other posters mentioned, do what's right for your family because it's what you really want. I'm sure your daughter will be fine as an only child or adjust well if you decide to have another.
Good luck!
I think if you want another child you should do what your heart tells you.
The risk of birth defects does go up with age but it is not a sharp jump, it is a gradual increase. It would be important to consider what would you would do if you had a child with special needs, but odds are that you would have a healthy baby.
For what it's worth I am 28 and slightly overweight but trying for our #3 so that isn't stopping me:) Good luck with whatever you decide.
see about others coming to your house for a play date. Maybe your sister and her children at your home. Take turns at each others houses. Does she attend any schools or daycares. Invite those children over for a playdate.
Kids often do this whether they have siblings or not. They just like being out and the change of scenery. May not be different with a sibling...your daughter may just be a social one. :) The choice of another is completely yours. Pros and cons to everything of course, so you just have to work through with your husband what is best for your family. Kids are very adaptable and being an only child, like everything else, has definite pros and cons so no need to base the decision on her. You and your husband just need to decide what YOU are up for and what you want for your family.
I will be 40 in January, and I have three kids 4, 2, and 7 months. We are planning to have one last child in the nearer, rather than later future. I would say do what your heart tells you. You will know what is best for you and your family. My husband and I always talked about having 3, the idea of #4 just came about recently. We just felt that our family was missing that last child. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can tell you that my two oldest keep each other very entertained, but they do like to play with other kids a lot too. They always want to stay where ever we are to play.
Good luck!
I had my first child at 40. I was (and am) a bit overweight. I had no complications. I got more ultrasounds that a younger mom to be would have but I thought it was cool to take a peek at my little one every couple of months. I even gave each of the Grandmas a chance to experience an ultrasound. I know the age thing can be kind of scary but it usually works out OK.
We decided to stop at one child partially because of my age. I battle the guilty feelings all the time but I know this is the best thing for our family. There are advantages to being an only child and my son has lots of cousins to play with. I think your daughter will be fine no matter what you decide.
Hi N.,
Yes we are all faced with this question when approaching the big 4.0.. I made 40 last year in August but don't look a bit of if. I have a daughter who will be 17 on Xmas Eve and my son will be 6 in October. I was asked by someone just a few days ago am I finished having kids.. YEZ.. for me I'm finished. My daughter helps a lot with my younger son. I like to travel and do a lot of activities, with me being a single mom if I another kid I will be tied to the house definitely, that's not for me. One of my friends who chose to do that stated that someone made a joke to her about going up to school and being mistaken for the grandma instead of the mother.. mean but I did laugh.... Hey, you look at your situation and do what you think is best for you.
Best wishes to you..
K.
N.,
I should start with I'm 36 I have a 2 yr old and 3 mth old B/G twins. I would say if you only want another child so your daughter has a playmate I would tell you not to try for another. In your family situation your alone most of the time plus working full time do you really have the time and energy for a newborn and a 2 1/2 yr old? My DD has had a rough time getting used to sharing Mommy & Daddy and we have had MANY meltdowns when she felt left out....that being said 2 yrs at this time is a huge age gap...my children can not play together right now and when the twins are big enough I'm sure my oldest is not going to want to play with the "babies" or have to share her toys with them....if your worried that your DD is feeling alone then I would say do as many playdates as you can and join a Mom's group to get together with other Mom's so she has more friends.
All of that being said, if you want another child to complete your family then by all means do it! I just feel it should be something you want deep in your soul not just for a playmate to keep your DD company....
Jen
