My 3 yo daughter woke up at 12 am last night. She sat up in her bed and seemed disoriented. Started crying. I gave her a minute to lay back down before I went in, but when I did, holy tantrum!! She just went ballistic. Hold me, don't hold me. Rock me, don't rock me. Then she wanted water. Got her the small little med cup that we let her have a SIP out of so she doesn't wet the bed and she went postal, wanted a cup from down stairs. I tried to stay calm, gave choice betwn med cup and a cup I had upstairs. She wanted a sippy cup in bed which we nixed once she started wearing underwear to bed. By now she has woke up my 9 week old. Told her I had to go get him calmed down, she was not allowed to cry/scream in my room. She cried in her bed the while time until I got he baby settled, about 10 mins. I found a silly cup upstairs but said she had to go potty and put on a night time diaper. She agreed. Rocked her for two mins and she was asleep. Got up 10 mins later, came into my room very quietly, wanted more water. Went back to sleep with no problems. Would you give a consequence today, after the fact for having a tantrum like that, or chalk it up to a random night terror and cut her some slack? This really was out of character for her. My husband was out of town and it was a school night. I think she gets a little anxious sometimes. Thanks.
Thank you, thank you! I was thinking the same thing as many of you but didn't want to be too soft either. She has transitioned better than I thought she would with having a new sibling. I have seen more tantrums and defiance during the day but I think that is more her age/development than being jealous. When she woke up his am she said today is a new day mom, which I frequently say to her. THen after I picked her up from school she said, I'm sorry I threw a big tantrum last night. This parenting job is exhausting! Thanks for being a sounding board for a sleep deprived, worn out mom!
No, no consequence today - she probably doesn't even remember nor did she do it intentionally. Just let it go.
Parent imposed consequences are for misbehavior and are only effective when administered close in time to the behavior.
She was having an emotional reaction and was not intentionally misbehaving; hence no consequence. If she was refusing to stay in bed at bedtime, her consequence would be for you to continue to put her back in bed. If you want to look at this in that way, you did give her a "consequence."
I praise you for being sensitive to her feelings and helping her to work thru them so that she could go to sleep. I think you handled this in a good way.
Oh no way would I give a consequence for that. She must have been terrified by a bad dream or a night terror, or the anxiety about her daddy not being home.
My 4 year old doesn't sleep well if he doesn't see my hubby before bedtime. He'll get up, come to our room, check to make sure my hubby's there, wedge in between us, and stay there until I take him back to his room. I let him stay about 15 min before I return him.
Sometimes he does wake up crying, and it is NOT a choice he is making. Please don't make the mistake of thinking that she was TRYING to misbehave. Rational thought it usually out the window in the middle of the night, due to the nature of kids' sleep cycles.
My oldest went through these night terrors at 3. Please, no consequence!
no I wouldnt punish her, she probably had a bad dream and was scared. Id just let it go.
Night terror, anxiety, nightmare. No consequence. I would go through the night time routine a little more slowly and really be sure she is settled and calmed before bed tonight. Help her to feel as safe as possible.
No, please don't consider consequences for a nightmare/change in routine. I'm guessing she was also pretty sad that your 9 week old gets your attention when he cries.
there are no consequences at my house if you wake up screaming in the middle of the night I dont think there should be consequences for something you cant control
I think a consequence on the next day would be confusing to a 3 YO.
I would not give consequences to her. You might talk to her today and see if she even remembers any of it. A lot of times with stuff like that they don't even remember it which means there were not incontrol of it. If she had a bad dream talk to her about that. My youngest had that and it was not pretty. We would just pray with him. Sometimes when he would remember he had a harder time going to bed the next night though. We just told him God was watching over him and that if he needed us we were right next door. And if your husband is out of town that may be throwing her off. My husband traviled when my youngest was that age and he was a basket case everytime. Once he was older it got better but that's a rough age.
Good luck and God Bless!
Nah, I'd let it go. Doesn't seem like it is a pattern for her and until it becomes one, I wouldn't worry a bit about it. We do weird things late at night if we're awoken from an interesting phase of sleep. If it became a pattern, I would work on it but not in terms of a consequence as much as setting expectations and being consistent.
I'd chalk it up to a random nighttime tantrum. By the way you described her behavior, it sounds like she was just really really overtired. I think you handled it fine.
She likely had a night mare and was just really scared. If this had happened during the day she could have gotten up and be redirected. Since it happened during the night she really didn't want to go back to where she had just experienced whatever it was.
I would not have had any consequences for this.
How does she sleep normally? My 3 1/2 year old has always been a great sleeper, but occasionally, she will have a night where she is just all out of sorts. I just do what I can to make her go back to sleep although I never pull her into my bed. We all have bad nights and I don't think that a consequence is needed, even if she does it again. When this happens with my daughter, I just remain consistent. Make her stay in bed, make sure she's okay, sing her a song or not, and walk out. If she gets out of bed, I just pick her up and put her right back in. Eventually, she goes back to the old routine. I don't like to get mad or punish her because I don't want her to be afraid to come to me if there ever is a real problem. However, I know my daughter and I know that when she does things like this she will quickly go back to the routine without a problem. Some kids are different and will continue to take advantage of a situation. I would let this one go and see what happens in the next few nights. My husband travels a lot and when he is out of town, my son sleeps horribly.
A consequence? I would give her a hug. And ask if there was anything she wanted to talk about. Was she scared, etc.
If this isn't normally her, then, chalk it up to a bad nightmare. Tonight try something soothing for her like a bath, read a book, a nightlight, etc.....
Good luck.....
