Confessions of a Hypocrite! Regarding ADHD Meds

Thank you for giving voice to what is the most common experience amongst parents of kids afflicted with ADHD. Like you, we tried other means to help my son's inattention and hyperactivity, but nothing worked and he wasn't able to function in school. He's been on medication since April and his report card went from almost all areas being "Needs Improvement" to "Meets Expectations" or "Exceeds Expectations." It has also made a huge difference in his social experience, as he is no longer labeled as "the bad kid/boy" and has lots of friends.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions of ADHD meds is that the point of them is to make life easier for the people in the child's life - you know, because ADHD children are just so darn annoying and cause so much trouble and meds "mellow" them.

The point of ADHD meds is to help a child, whose brain works differently. The meds help so that they are able to function and thrive.

Such a shame that more people don't realize this.

Good for you for recognizing that this is what your son needed!

Balance is the key. Medication may not be the first choice if there are other ways to deal, but when it's the best solution, then you use it carefully and wisely. Glad it's working for him :)

Dear Mom of 3. I was you lol. My son is 18 now. We did what you did with him. we took food away, we added food in. we rewarded, we punished, we got him an IEP and tried with that. But it didn't work. I wanted to mention to you to keep close eye on things with the meds. Sometimes they become immune to something and you will know when it starts to happen. Our son started off on ritilin which did not work and caused a host of other problems. he was changed to adderall which worked great for a bit but he had to take it twice a day and then was up revved at midnight. changed to the slow release adderall which worked for about 6 or 7 years. then changed to our miricle pill which is vyvance. My son is also honor roll and doing great. I wish your son much luck. And you also lol. For those who are able to regulate and work without meds it is a wonderful thing. But for those who can't the meds are a lifeline. They can make all the difference in the world.

I was lucky, I knew from my childhood that diets do not work and they make the kid feel worse. It is bad enough that I didn't understand why I couldn't study or pay attention like the other kids. I thought and was told I was lazy. Then add to that mom taking away all the foods I loved saying that would cure me, I still couldn't study and pay attention like other kids. I thought well everyone was doing everything they could, clearly I am a lazy failure.

So I was diagnosed along with my oldest son when he was six. They said lets try meds, my god what a difference. Like me he wasn't a behavior problem he just couldn't study and pay attention like everyone else. Trust me we were both the hyper types. You can control hyper though discipline, what you cannot compel through any other means but meds is the ability to pay attention and study.

At least to me that is the big problem, people see ADHD as a hyperactivity disorder when it really isn't. They have to be disciplined differently but when you get it they can control their impulses and sit still. That is what is so cruel, you have this kid, and they sit there and they are doing everything outward they should so everyone is happy with them except internally they are beating themselves up because they cannot overcome the distractibility. Meds fix that.

I'll tell you that I was the same way. All of the elimination diets and other behavior adjustments that you did? We have done and are still doing because they do work. But are so very grateful to have the medication as a tool as well. We're lucky that we found the right one for our 13 year old, and she gets regular and frequent check ups for tweaks as needed, as well as good advice. She feels good on the med and it works, so we knew it was the right one.

You're not a hypocrite. You tried every avenue, but you learned a valuable lesson in parenting: never say never. Extremes in methods don't work. :-)

When it's right, it works just like this. I'm happy for you and your son.

i dunno. maybe there's some hypocrisy there, but i tend to think you're just sensible. i DO think meds are gone to waaaayyyyy too easily and often. they do work, all too well, but that doesn't mean that a lot of medicated kids wouldn't have done better with diet and behavior modification.
that being said, it's a very real condition, and millions of people have had their lives dramatically altered for the better by having medication available to them. the problem is, no one knows exactly the right path for any individual child without some trial and error.
i'm glad you've been able to release the judgmentalism, and to find what works for YOUR child.
khairete
S.

You got a WOW with the medicine. You are so lucky. Before you call yourself "uneducated" because you didn't believe medicine was the magic answer, just know that not everyone has a WOW with these medications. Some kids have an OW and trials of different meds - tweaking dosages and dealing with side effects can cause havoc for them.

I'm so happy for you and your son that this is working so well!

I don't know that it was uneducated although maybe a little judgemental (but we have all been there). Its great that you tried many other options first, it is probably adding to your peace of mind that you are making the best choice for your child.
I used to be pretty judgemental on this same issue but some less personal experiences have changed my views a lot. I know a couple of kids who struggle so much, get in trouble in class all the time and I just feel for them and wonder if they would be much happier and more successful with meds.

You didn't stop trying. You found what works for your child. You've done your job as a mom.

So the most important thing you've learned is that one solution doesn't work for everyone. If this regimen works over a long period of time, great. If it doesn't (which might happen as he grows or gets further into puberty), you won't be afraid to try the next thing. You let your child know that you're never giving up on him, and he shouldn't give up on himself.

In my work, I've found that meds work for some, nutrition works for others, removing things from the diet can work, but adding things in works even better. But we never take anyone off their meds if those are working, or if they are necessary in the short run, or if they work best in combination with supplementation. We let the patient (or the parent in the case of a child), working with the doctor, determine when to cut back or eliminate meds.

I think you've shared an important lesson about pre-judging that we can all learn from!

You're not the only one. My son has been on generic Concerta for a year now. We tried behavior modification therapy, martial arts, massive discipline techniques, and NOTHING helped as much as we would have liked.

I HATE being a part of the pill-of-the-month club. Shoot, most times my husband has to bully me into taking advil when I get one of my debilitating migraines. I didn't want my kid to have to take a pill every day unless I absolutely HAD to.

I finally gave in and put him on 27mg, once daily, Concerta. Oh. My. Gods. WHAT a difference with him. We're talking night and day difference here. I still don't like that he's on meds at 10 years old. But it's helping him in ways we couldn't. I don't like it, but it's working so I classify it as a necessary evil. I'll be glad for the day that he doesn't need the meds any more.

Since when does trying a variety of approaches until you find the one that works make someone a hypocrite? That's kind of an offensive term. Glad you found what works, but...

Isn't it amazing what medicines can do? I'm with you in that I always hesitated on medications; however, the older I get, the more I take medications and yes, sometimes they can be a blessing!

I'm so happy for you and your family :). My dd is 11 and takes foclain Xr and it has changed our lives! She is a happy successful kid.
L.