My son started kindergarten at the beginning of September. He only knows one kid in his class from preschool. This kid is so extremely obnoxious. He is always yelling, talking about his "butt" "pee", smacking himself in the face (constantly). My son's behavior changes DRASTICALLY when he is around this boy. The issue is that this kid is so clingy with my son, and told him if he made any new friends, that he couldn't be his friend anymore. My son is not playing with anyone else in class. I have tried play dates w/ other kids. He will play with the other kids then, but when he gets to school and tries to sit by a new kid, or talk to them, the annoying kid literally runs up and pulls him away. I am extremely concerned that my son will not be able to make other friends. I have talked to the teacher, she said she would suggest other playmates, but this hasn't helped. I am not comfortable talking to this other child's mother, as she is a friend of mine. I guess I just want reassurance that my son will gain the confidence to make his own choices, and new friends. Any advice?
I think your putting to much thought into this, who really cares who his friend is as long as it makes him happy and he's not hurting anyone. My son has plenty of kids who i can't stand, heck my son would be that kid you think is annoying! Doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a friend. If your son didn't want to play with this boy then he wouldn't.
I would be talking to the teacher again, so she can be sure she knows when to intervene and separate them, and so she can help integrate this other child with making new friends... not just 'suggest' but actively put him in different groups and such. I would talk to the mom, let him know that her son is showing possessive behavior and that you are bringing it to her attention so she knows. Ask her if he ever has playdates or talks about being friends with other children. If you are friends, surely you can think of a nice and tactful way to bring it up. Definitely talk to your son and let him now it's perfectly okay for him to make new friends. let him know that the next time this child physically pulls him away, he can immediately go to to the teacher... that would not be allowed at my son's school.
How do you know this is happening? Is this all your son telling you?
The reason I ask is my kids would tell me being friends with whoever was outside their control when they knew I didn't like a specific child. See they apparently liked the kid but didn't want to upset me.
ask the teacher to make sure they are in different classes next year. I had similiar situation w/my son in first grade - he was inseperable with a kiddo that I thought was ok but not great -lol. Second grade he had a totally different class and the problem friend wasn't in it- and lo and behold - they aren't really friends anymore. Works great - good luck!
My daughter had the same problem with a little boy in her class the first month of school. She stopped playing with her girlfriends because the boy would tell her they wouldn't have their play date if she played with other kids. We just told her to stand up for herself, if he was being mean and she didn't like it we told her to tell him that if he was going to be mean then they can't play together. We didn't like that he was trying to control her but we couldn't just tell her not to play with him because we didn't like it. We had to give her the tools needed to get herself out of a situation if she was unhappy and she resolved the issue because now she plays with whoever she wants.
In regards to your son's situation if he behaves in a way you don't like because the other boy does you should tell your son regardless of what little Johnny does you have different expectations of how your son should behave. You can't step in and deal with all of his problems, he has to be able to problem solve on his own, just give him the confidence to speak up and stand his ground.
