T.T.
HI Wendy! How thoughtful of you to keep in touch with her, especially when it is a difficult situation. My husband and I lost twins right before 9/11 (and we were in NJ at the time). It was extremely hard. I know that people mean well, but there are just certain things that shouldn't be said. The things I remember the most are my friends that were just there. They didn't try and say things to fill in the space or to make it understandable...you'll have more, God wanted them in Heaven, etc...Now I can say that, but then I didn't want to hear it. As true as it is/was, it's too hard to hear at the time. I would just be there for her, you really don't need to say to much except normal things. How are you...tell her about you and what's going on...tell her a joke, tell her you are thinking of her and pray for her (if you do)...let her know you are there for her...to cry, rant, talk, laugh whatever. AGain, just knowing you have someone there means sooo much, that someone is thinking of you. Good luck and I will pray for your friend - I know what a difficult time she is going through. There are also some great books that got me through a very tough time...you could send her one of those. Dealing with loss of a child, when bad things happen to good people, etc. I couldn't read them right away, but I did eventually and they were great. I also received 2 plants...I've never been a plant person, but 7 yrs later, I still have them to represent Justin and Kyle :o)