Come Backs Needed for "Oh She's So Little"

Interesting, my daughter was also a competitive gymnast for many years. Also very slight. We actually took such comments as a compliment. Still do.

I actually just said Thank You. Still do.

Weird, huh?

:)

I like miss manner's approach to people saying something inappropriate. Sit there in silence, as if stunned, and give him/her a bewildered look. After a moment change the subject or walk away. The individual in question will hopefully get the message.

I would just say, "Yes, she is small." and leave it at that. If she is sensitive to the comments then I would say "Yes, she is small, but she doesn't like when people talk about it."

"She's pretty tall for a hobbit"

"She's taller than most of her hobbit cousins"

"She's not that tall for a hobbit"

"Yes, and the doctors say she's already reached her full height"

"I guess I should stop giving her coffee...they say it stunts your growth"

"Its all that smoking she does"

My answer to stuff like that is "yes, yes she is."
LBC

I like your reply. It is cute and original.

Another reply you could use, a cliche, is, "Good things come in small packages."

ETA: I just remembered, when I was in high school a girl on a softball team we played against was TINY. When she was up, the outfielders moved in. Big mistake. She knocked the snot out of the ball, far over the left fielder's head. Later on that game we heard her teammates chanting her nickname, "Mighty Mouse."

I think your response is absolutely perfect. If the person talking to you is particularly annoying, you could always respond "you're right, my daughter is certainly tiny compared to your enormous child. She must eat everything she sees."

=)

Of course, only say that out of earshot of the larger child!

"Her legs are long enough to reach the ground."

"She's the perfect size, and our pediatrician agrees."

"I really dislike talking about my daughter as if she weren't here. It really hurts her feelings... especially when people comment on her size as if it matters or is something that could be controlled."

Be happy she is such a skilled gymnast.

"Yes, she's such a skilled gymnast. Have you noticed most of the gold medalists in the Olympics are her size?"

Good luck to you and yours.

You can change the way it irritates you by changing the way you think about what they say. You're assuming that their comments are negative. You're also telling yourself that you're tired of them. I suggest that you start out by telling yourself that it's OK for them to make comments because they are just making conversation; they are paying attention to your daughter in a spontaneous way without thinking about how it might sound to you.

Just accept the comment. Tell yourself it's OK. Stop telling yourself you're tired of hearing it. When you say that you are building up negative thoughts. We very much influence how we feel by what we say to ourselves.

My granddaughter is only 2 and so we don't have the years of hearing the comment as you do but she is small for her age and my response is, yes, isn't she cute?" Your comment about making them small is good too. You could say, "she's also smart. We're so proud of her." This changes the subject. You could go on to tell about what she does well or about her interests. They're wanting to have a conversation. Give them a different topic. Include your daughter in the conversation.

Every time you start to say to yourself that you're so tired of this, stop yourself, and say it's OK. Eventually you'll feel that it is.

Later: I didn't think about the fact that my grandson is really big for his age. He's in the 98th percentile. We get comments about this all the time. He is also on the autism spectrum and acts younger than he is. We get comments all the time. In my experience the people are just trying to figure him out. I see this as interest and not negative at all. For me, it usually means that they like him and want to know more about him.

Well, being sarcastic, my comeback would probably be, "Well, she's a gymnast, so we are restricting her food intake to ensure she doesn't grow so she will be a Nationals competitor by the time she is 14. Gotta do what you gotta do to get your child ahead these days." Then shrug, and walk away. :)

The standard, dynamite comes in small packages!

Or, I dare you to tell her that!

Or, it works for her!

I am not sure why a response from you is even necessary. I find it so odd that people get worked up over stuff like this. People comment all the time how much children look nothing like me, just like their dad, doesn't bother me a bit.

Were you teased as a child for being small and allowing that to upset you in these scenarios?

They aren't calling her unhealthy or ugly, they are just observing how little and cute she is. People are allowed to make observations. Sometimes, they even say those internal observations out loud. Novel, I know. I would just smile and say "I know, isn't she just so small and pretty!?"

My oldest has a hormone deficiency. Without shots, he wouldn't grow at all. So those kinds of comments REALLY make me cringe - especially when the commenter has to go on about assumed age! My response to both commenters and my son when he comments on his size is "people come in all sizes."

I guess i would shrug it off. why take it personally they are just commenting on what they can see. She is small. you are pretty small too. Just like if someone said "oh your eyes are so brown" yup thanks they are.
Oh she is so small, yup, she'll be 10 or what ever. you dont even need to comment at all, if you don't want to. but i wouldn't be annoyed by it.

Your response is great! I know it's irritating. My 6 year old daughter is almost as tall as my nearly 10 year old son, who is on the short side for his age. I wanted to crack one lady in the face when she said, "My you are a growing girl" to my daughter, then turned to my son and said, "And you aren't growing at all, are you?" GRrrrrrr....... some people have chronic diarrhea of the mouth.

You need to let it go.
My daughter is small as well she's 11.5 and wears a size 8 jeans , just got out of the 8 slim.
I hear all the time she's small. and most people think she's younger than she is.
It doesn't really need a response. I usually say something like " I know! she's almost the smallest in her class! " It's really NOT a big deal. Don't let it get your nickers in a twist.

I'm not sure why you have to have a comeback, when people say that. I'd just smile and go on. Do you think people are being MEAN when they give comments, or are they just noticing her size and speaking it out loud? Whatever the case, I'd assume it's the latter, and go on. If you do have a comeback, what are the other people supposed to say then? It might lead to a confrontation, which is unnecessary. I have a son, who was very small. But now, he is 14, and is raiding his dad's closet of his clothes and shoes. So she will catch up before you know it. And besides, petite girls are cute!

I would not feel a need to respond. My kids were very very very tall, I got comments like that all the time. I would just smile. Was t worth my time to respond.

Do you really need a snappy comeback? Can you just let it roll off your shoulder because I really don't think people are trying to offend. I have the tallest kid in 4th grade and get comments all the time but it's really no big deal. It's just an observation on their part.

Hi, Sally:

Turn the conversation back to them.
"Were you small for your age?"
"What was it like for you growing up?"

See what happens when you ask them
questions about how they felt growing up.

Petite is just as beautiful as big.

Good luck.
D.

I'm petite and when people feel compelled to comment on my stature, I tell them "I'm big for my size."

I think your response is fine unless your child is being bothered by people's comments. If she is, you could think of a comeback that points out how being a smaller person is a strength for her in gymnastics for example.

We have the opposite problem. My husband and I are both tall and people are always saying how much older our kids look than their age. Or sometimes they just look disapprovingly when they act their age because they think that they are older. WhenI tell them they are 7 and 9 instead of 9 and 11 they say things like "Oh gosh they are so tall, I was sure they were older."

It's irritating, but I just figure that people don't know what to say so they make general comments like that.

My mother used to say "Yes, but she packs quite a punch." I'm the same size as you and our husbands sound pretty similar as well. Both of my children are small... not surprising b/c we're not exactly giants! I always feel like that's a weird thing to comment on, but when folks say something about my kids, I usually respond with "He looks like he's 3, but he talks like he's 6 so it all averages out" or the same response as my mom and then move on.

If it makes you feel any better, my sister gets the "opposite" commentary with my nephew. He's 10 days older than my daughter and people comment on how he's "giant" for his age... he's wearing 2T clothing at 13 months. It bothers her because he doesn't overeat and he's really active. He's just a tall kid.

Stick with your comment and try not to think of it as a "comeback" because I doubt the person meant it as an insult.

Why do you need to respond to that? So they made a comment, let it go. By reacting to this, you may be directing your daughter toward a complex.

We do everything you do...we have a 7 year old the size of a 10 year old. She wears a size 4.5 shoe and size 12 pants. Okay, so maybe an eleven year old. She is the second to tallest in the 1st grade.

I don't respond other than agree with them here and there.

Just think, they think you have a really intelligent 7 year old. My daughter's skate coach was surprised/frustrated when she told her to read the manual which told her what she needed to learn for the skate level she had just passed. My daughter just looked at the page and I peaked over and said, she can't read that, she just entered the 1st grade (early in the year).

My daughter is petite as well. People make comments about her small stature. I have even had a "friend" make comments about her younger toddler son "taking on" my daughter. Who says that?! Even if they are joking- um, not funny.
I just say that "Well, she's a lucky girl. She'll never worry over her weight a day in her life." Or "She's small but she packs a punch." Or "What she lacks in size she makes up in attitude".

I think your response is perfect. I had the opposite problem. My kids were both 11# at birth, 2 weeks early so they were big babies and I heard it all the time. They are older now so I can't remember what I said, but I think what you are saying is appropriate or a simple, "Thank you" and leave it at that. Good luck.

I have a little gymnast too!
My husband is Filipino so my kids are small, always have been. Peoples' comments have never gotten to me.
Does it bother you because YOU are small too?
For what it's worth tall kids suffer the same comments, so you're daughter is not alone.

I was a tiny kid growing up - always the smallest in my class. Probably would have been among the smallest if I was a couple of grades behind. Didn't grow or hit puberty till I was 15. I was 4'10" when I entered high school. Topped out at 5'3" so I don't feel tiny anymore.

Anyway, I used to get teased, especially by one particular boy in the fourth grade. He was a tiny bit chubby. Finally, one day after he was calling me short, I said " I'd rather be short than fat like you!" Never bothered me again. That could work for her as she gets older and is likely to face more teasing.

So, if you really want to make people realize that they are being rude, find something wrong with them and just say "better small than ____" Or even just "better small than rude." Otherwise, just say "Yup" in a truly sarcastic and clearly irritated tone of voice and move on to a new topic. They will see that they offended you and hopefully keep their mouths shut next time.

My daughter is 10 and 5th grade.
Their grade level is full of very tall kids.
But there are a few "small" or short or tiny kids, too.
The kids themselves... do NOT have a problem with it.
At all.
They are all very confident kids and have friends just like anyone else and do not lag in any area and the other kids do not tease them about size.
So, if the kid themselves have no problem with it, they are fine.

I would say "Yes, it's great, isn't it?"

Most people aren't trying to be mean, they just aren't thinking before they speak.

Your current comeback is great too.

I usually try to accentuate the positive aspects. Depend on who I'm talking to, of course. I don't feel that I need comebacks. I want the kids (because they are usually listening) to know that this can be an advantage.
We never have to pay full price for meals for her.

I have to say that I have commented on the small size of other people's kids and I always meant it as a compliment.

I like your current response. We are small too. I used to say something like, "With his parents he's not going to be in the NBA" or "Someone has to be on one end of the chart or there wouldn't be a chart." It might be tempting to go the sarcasm route and say, "We don't feed her." I am by far the shortest in my immediate family. I was a horrible eater as a toddler and young child. I smile and tell people I stunted my growth by not eating.

I think it will do your daughter a lot of good to accept comments gracefully, especially the ones that aren't meant to be mean.

My DD is not going to be tall. Maybe 5'3" at the current estimates. I'm 5"1" on a good day.

What I might say depends on the person. For example, you can shrug and say, "Genetics."

If you think someone is putting her down with the comment, you can say, "I really don't appreciate you being dismissive of my daughter due to her size."

My sks are very tall. My SD is nearly 6ft. Unless someone is being craptastic about it, we usually joke it off and/or ignore it. When she was 11 and my height we'd say, "Miracle Gro" and leave people wondering. We've joked that they are half Sasquatch, and my DD is half hobbit.

I was always small. My DD will always be small (her 3 yr old cousin is going to pass her soon). I am just trying to teach DD to not worry about it. It will be easier for her than if she were a short boy.

ETA: DD and I both have this on a shirt:http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?includes[0]=materi...

You might also find her a shirt that says "I'm not short, I'm fun sized!"

I like your current comeback.

Others would be "God only grows things to perfections, some take less time than others", "good things come in small packages", "She's healthy, happy, and at least ahead of the curve on the fight against obesity", or "Yes, she does look younger than her age doesn't she. One day she might love to hear that all the time...that time is not yet here"

I've faced that line all my life. I'm 5', and I have a face and features that make me appear younger than what I am. It was always harder for me to make people take me seriously. I used to find that so irritating then. My parents always told me to smile, shrug it off, and keep doing what I was doing.

Although I do understand your urge to think of some smart comeback.. :) Your line's just fine. Or say something simple like Life's best things come in small packages. She's one of them. :)

Good things come in small packages?

Runs in the family.

For the "looks young" comments, you could say - yep, and that'll be great when she's 50 and looking 45!

Or nod and smile and change the subject. It is what it is. It's annoying, but people are clueless. Water off a duck's back may be the attitude to take. As long as their not being mean, and are just stating the obvious (why do we do that?), try to let it go.

Add: I have the opposite issue. My son just turned 6 and he's 52inches tall and 54 lbs. Everyone thinks he's in 1st or 2nd grade. Sometimes I get "the look" cause he's ACTING HIS AGE, but he's not acting his HEIGHT. Sigh.

I don't get it anymore but I used to for my kids being tall. I know how irritating it is. I think I'd say "I know. We love how dainty she is!" I know being tall can be great but I honestly wish we were all dainty little girls in my house!

We've had the reverse... my son has always been in the 90th percentile and even in Kinder, despite being the youngest at about 4 1/2 years.. He was the biggest.. and to this day.. is still one of the bigger kids..
Even at 11, many think he is 13... and we get. WOW ........ he's so big.. WOW.. can't believe he's not older.. my son does act more mature which coupled with his size is always thought of as the older kid.... We just say, he's always been big....
it goes both ways. if too small.. you hear it.. if too big .. you hear it..
I think you just have to roll with it.. if you daughter begins to think it bothers you, then she might think something is wrong with her. when in fact, she's just petite..

At 45, my niece is very slender and about 4'10 definitely a few inches away from 5 feet.. .. she's always been one of the smallest. now she considers it an asset.. because at 45, many think she is probably in her mid 20s early 30s if that... she just loves that fact :)

Isn't Mary Lou Retton like 4'10"? So say something along the lines of
'it's all part of the training.' or
'Olympics 2020, here we come!'

i dealt with the same thing with my daughter. I always just said small but mighty and left it at that.

I am really short and so is my middle daughter. When people comment on her size, I say " What God didn't give her in size, he made up for with an extra dose of personality."

God lets you grow until you are perfect, some take less time.

Dynamite comes in small packages.

Small but mighty.

Good things come in small packages.

My little girl is going to be the same thing... she is 21 lbs, at 2 years old. and is short, but she can do everything. I was little, and I had to endure all these comments. There is nothing you can do, just keep her self confidence up.

Good Luck.. By the way, I am 37 and still get carded to drink :) there are a lot of good things that happen to those of us young/small ones :)

Updated

God lets you grow until you are perfect, some take less time.

Dynamite comes in small packages.

Small but mighty.

Good things come in small packages.

My little girl is going to be the same thing... she is 21 lbs, at 2 years old. and is short, but she can do everything. I was little, and I had to endure all these comments. There is nothing you can do, just keep her self confidence up.

Good Luck.. By the way, I am 37 and still get carded to drink :) there are a lot of good things that happen to those of us young/small ones :)

Since some say people aren't trying to be mean or rude etc, then assume that and give them a big "thank you!!" That way, if they did mean it nicely, you're being gracious. If they didn't mean it as a compliment (not an insult per se but it was an observation that wasn't bc they think it's so great), it may jolt them into thinking about it. They may react internally "why is she thanking me?" and realize that if you weren't supposed to thank them bc it wasn't a compliment, then what did they mean?... And if someone is overweight, I'd say "and we're so glad she doesn't have a weight problem." :) Unless someone does mean something as a compliment, they should keep their mouth shut.

My 12 year old is also small. In 6th grade and always at about the 10th percentile for height and weight.

He has his own comeback for those who say he's small or short.

"Yep! I am!"

I was really teeny too. Until my junior year in high school (when I was 68lbs and 4'9"). I'm now 5'9" and 135lbs. My son knows that kids usually take after their parents and grandparents....so it doesn't get him down that he's short now, before he's even hit puberty. :-)

I don't have much advice but I can relate. I was very tiny in elementary school, usually the smallest in my grade with 130 other kids, and everyone assumed I was 2-3 years younger than I really was. I got into an argument once with a mom at my dance studio who insisted I had to be lying about my age.

FWIW, I'm 5'4 now. I think I hit 5 feet when I was 13 or 14.

As an adult, I try to never make assumptions about how old a kid might be, and if it turns out they're smaller or larger than average for their age, I refrain from sharing that observation. I guess you have to have experienced this constantly to understand how annoying it can be. I think your "we don't make them very big in our family" response is great, and I'd also throw in something about her being a great gymnast :)

I get the complete opposite. My children are very tall. I often hear about how giant they are and they can't believe my son is only 7 when he is as tall as some 4th graders!
I just shrug it off.
"yup, he's a giant."
"genes, I guess (i have a cousin who is 6'7)"

So for you?
"yup, she's petite"
"she must take after me!"

Biggest issue in my opinion - does it bother HER?? If not, continue using your usual response. I also have a petite daughter. She'll be 12 this summer, is a little over four feet tall ans weighs 60 pounds! My 9 year old is an inch taller and outweighs her sister by at least 10 pounds. So, I've heard the comments too. Lucky for me my daughter has a HUGE personality. It doesn't bother her one bit. If it did, I would focus on making HER more confident in who she is, rather than worrying about a good comeback for the "she's so little" comment. You're lucky she's a gymnast. Mine is a swimmer and has a lot of trouble keeping up with kids in her age group who are a foot taller than her. It's painful (for me,) but she just keeps working at it. I keep hoping she has a growth spurt and then passes them all!!

I've heard both since I have a nearly 9 year old son that is big for his age and a 6 year old daughter that is small for her age. My son always gets confused for an older child and sometimes (especially when he was younger) I would get strange looks because he "wasn't acting his age" because they thought he was older. My daughter on the other hand has always been 15-20th percentile and people always say "wow she's so advanced for her age" but really it's because they thing she's younger. I've also gotten the comment "she's so tiny/small" I'm 5'3" and 120lbs and my husband is 6'1". I usually just nod and smile and ignore comments.

My first daughter is small too, she's always been in about the 5th percentile. She's the youngest and smallest in her class. When I get comments I usually just say something like "yep, she's always been a petite gal".

if a lot of people say that about your daughter, i'd take it as a red flag and maybe have her checked by a specialist. it's one thing for a child to look small for her age but being 10 and taken for 7? that's huge.