Everyone? :) I would say that if you want your child to be responsible for it though, tell them this from the VERY BEGINNING please! My dad told me college was taken care of, and wouldn't let me get a savings account when I was a teen, citing that it would distract me from my studies. I did get a job anyway (I cited car insurance and won that argument). But then things changed (divorce, etc) and suddenly, a month before school starts, I have no money to go? That was devastating and set me on a course that should have never ever happened.
For MY family: we started a 529 for college funds while pregnant, putting in money every month AND 2% of every single bill that accepts a credit card payment goes to our 529 as well. We've been teaching our children from the very beginning about work, saving, tithing, charity, saving, wise spending, all of it. My 2 year old gets 5 cents/day allowance (plus bonuses) for his little chores, and my 5 year old gets 25 cents/day allowance (plus bonuses for extra jobs he takes on---like he wanted a cool new lunchbox even though he already has a perfectly good one....so he helped me weed the front gardens and along the side of the house, and he got the new lunchbox and a couple beyblades too. We're teaching them from the BEGINNING. So even though we are actively saving for them, they will also know how to earn money, handle what they earn, and work to save for things in the future, so they will pay a portion as well. And of course, we'll encourage them as they grow up to do what it takes to earn assistance (scholarships, grants, whatever) as well.
My plan is to give each child a nice downpayment on a sensible car for their first vehicle. My plan: they can get their license for their 16th birthday, will need to work part time, maintain their grades, and if they can do that and pay for insurance and save for a year, then we will get them a downpayment (nearly the whole cost, if they are reasonable) for a car for the next birthday. But I want them to make payments and work for it also, because people respect what they work for more than they respect free stuff. For college/books: we'll have money for them, but we will want them (and guide them) to do their best to find funding themselves, to earn money, etc. Whatever money they save by scoring scholarships, grants, or rewards is money they can count as having earned. We will subsidize whatever is needed, but that will totally depend on their grades among other things. I'm not against them getting MODERATE student loans, just to build a little credit history, though that would be closely monitored and we won't let them start life drowning in debt as long as they follow our advice. (Enough to learn how to handle money with some guidance, I'm ok with, but in general we are a family that does not believe in debt!)
Whatever is left in their accounts that we've opened for them is money that is available to them after they graduate, to start their lives. I remember my dad just flat telling me as a teenager (decades before I got married) that he personally thought it best to have a moderately priced wedding and have some money left for important things like a house (ha). That made sense to me, and even though I was an adult so we didn't need my dad to help us with a house or whatever, we DID realize and understand (because of my dad's educating me when I was young) to make reasonable, moderate choices and that way I'm not drowning in debt and have money left to start my new life...that's what we did.
I'd love my kids to be able to get into an Ivy League school, but there will only be a certain amount of money available. Realistically, they'll have to earn scholarships to those. That's a bit sad. I had a friend who received a scholarship to NYU but only went 1 year because her parents couldn't afford the living expenses there. She ended up in Denver and did just fine. I guess that's where some life lessons (living expenses, how to earn money, save for desires and necessities, and sometimes some disappointments) come into play. I will encourage my kids to go to good schools fairly locally, especially their first year, but won't demand it. There are benefits to staying local that I would present, but in the end, they do have to spread their wings. I will be the mom that will let them know that upon high school graduation, they get to start paying rent. That rent will be ridiculously low as long as their grades are kept up and basic rules still followed.
We're saving diligently, but we're putting more towards our retirement than we are for their college.....because we have 30 years from NOW before we have to retire, and they will have nearly 50 years after they graduate to pay off that debt and retire.