Clingy Toddler - Memphis,TN

I would be concerned if he was truly terrified and did not want to be with a specific person. I would call it a phase. You may need to start preparing him for transitions in advance - - "We are getting ready for school, let's name all of your friends, the fun things you will do, what we will do when I pick you up" etc. Count your blessings that he does now meet a stranger - you want him to be careful. I recommend the John Walsh video - Safe Side (I think), when you are ready for him to learn about stranger danger - it gets the message across but is funny.

Anyway, back to the issue, on the whining, we have a rule in our house that when you whine, the answer is no. You must use your nice voice and good manners to be heard and understood. Be consistent and stick to it, or the whining never ends - I have seen it and it is not pretty. ( :

Good luck!!!

It sounds as if maybe there was a 'traumatic' (to him) instance at some point. Sometimes you can 'network' (ask everyone who's been involved with him -- daycare staff, Sunday School class staff, relatives, etc) to see if anyone had an experience where he got nervous or scared. Sometimes it doesn't take much, and there's usually not a whole lot you can do about it, anyway, except be available to him when he needs you. And PLEASE make sure that EVERYONE tells him the truth about when they're leaving and returning. ( I had a casual friend in the late 1980's who kept her great nephew most of the time, and she went double-coupon shopping with me a few times. We always knew we'd be gone ALL DAY, but when he'd act whiny as we were leaving in the a.m. she'd tell him, "Don't cry, honey. I promise we'll be back in just a few minutes!" I wanted to SHAKE her and slap her and say, 'What do you think you're doing??!!' Anyway, that's about all the input I have. Hope it helps.

N.,

In a situation like you are describing, son never knowing a stranger until the last two months, I would go with the ol' mothers intuition on this one. If you have a gut feeling that something or 'someone' is harming your child, no matter if they are related or not, begin doing some investigating. Also, your son might be able to draw you pictures of what is bothering him. I took a course in college where they used this method on young children that were not able to communicate. You would not believe the things they would draw on a piece of paper. Ask your son if something has happened at a particular location, daycare, grandparents, etc? Then, place a piece of paper in front of him, crayon, and ask him to draw what upset him. You might even be able to ask names of individuals during this process. You could draw a particular person, place the name underneath the individual, and ask how this person makes him feel? You and your son can figure out what is upsetting him so much together. He definitely is trying to tell you something. If it is not that someone or something has upset him.....

maybe....changes in his home environment...ask yourself what has changed over the past two months? Ask yourself all kinds of questions...Plus, hug your son and hold him as much as you can....He is obviously experiencing a little anxiety in his world right now. Lots of love from mommy goes a long way....

Good luck!

Your son is probably just going through a phase... my daughter is now 3 yr old, and when she was 2 she when through something simular. It was really hard on me because Siann is and was so independent; she would always let me know shse she wanted my atttention or me to play with her. It lasted about 6-8 mo, but I responded with extra hugs, attention, and lots of new reading and writting books so we could have lots of quality time. I was lucky becaseu I was able to adjust my schedule to her needs- most of the time. I also made play days that she grasp- "will you go to the park with me after school today?" With the whinning, she still likes to do it some times. When it was really bad, I just had to stop everything and ask her to talk like a big girl. She caught on after lots of repetion.. Now when she whines, I wait to see if she catches herself, and if not, I go back to the orrignal plan of getting down to her level and letting her know that shse is whining, and if she could talk to me like a big girl so I can understand her better. Hope this helps! PS.... Make sure daycare is OK.... my daughter got REALLY upset at the thought of going to one of her old schools, only to find out months later that she wasn't getting treated right. (Bounced around, different disiplins, different friends, and finally getting pushed around by other kids). Teachers were leaving the school left and right. Teachers were unhappy and passing that down to the students. I'd try to drop in unannounced once or twice just to be sure.

This is actually quite normal for his age. My 10yods did the same thing. He was fine with me leaving, has 4 older siblings, and then all of a sudden, freak outs whenever I would leave the house. I would spend as much time with him as possible & show him that I was coming back in X amount of time. It took a few months but then things went back to the way it was before, with him being ok with me leaving. Your son is just going through a stage I feel & since you know he's doing well at daycare I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Sounds like he's just going through a phase. Since he's never had stranger anxiety, I guess he's just going through it a little late?