"Clingy" Toddler - North Olmsted,OH

*

As a working Mom, one of the hardest things for me is when I'm not engaging with my kids in the few precious moments I get each day. BUT, I know how important it is for them to be independent, and I'd really struggle with them always being on my heels.

Have you considered having special time for him to spend initially with his father? Perhaps they can go have a special time once/week then extend it so he is more comfortable in different situations.

One thing I can see being inhibitive to his independence is that you mention taking him to playgroups, etc. where you may always be in attendance. We experienced this earlier this week with our 22 month old (who's been in full-time day care since 9 weeks) at a dance class. Me being there wrecked her participation.

Good luck.

Welcome to my world! My now 28 month old had to see me and touch me the first 24 months of his life. It is normal...frustrating but normal. We had another baby right around Carter's 2nd birthday and we are all doing okay. Carter transitioned into his own bed a couple of weeks later on his own accord and last week stayed in a hotel "daycare" for an hour while we did a timeshare presentation. I could see him, but he couldn't see me. He did awesome.

There is light at the end of your tunnel. Studies show that the really dependent kids who get their needs met (and that's what you are doing) will be very independent when it is time. Hang in!

Children are only little for a little while. Someday soon when he goes to college you'll be wondering where this litttle guy is and who he is with... That said I think the best thing you can do is do your best to find fun caring adults who will play with your kid and give you a break. Expand your support system. I hope this helps.

;

If you can put yourself in a situation where he CAN'T come with you, yet be in ear shot, do it and make an effort to communicate w/ him from another room. That way, he KNOWS you're still there, even if you're out of site.

Can you give him something to watch or be "in charge of" for a VERY brief period....watching the oven the last 2 minutes the muffins are baking, etc. He can watch and let you know when the timer goes off. This gives him a sense of responsibility, and security, too if you communicate w/ him even though you're not in the same room.

Little by little, increase the amount of time you're "in communication". At some point, he will gain security and not "worry" so much about you being out of sight. make sure you praise him for giving you the time to.........and get "mommy things done."

Honestly, even at that age, I let them help put things in the dryer, small cleaning jobs (help dust with a cloth in specific spots), etc. It REALLY DOES give them a sense of responsbility and they will grow up with a better appreciation of what kind of things it takes to run a house AND enjoy being a helper.

I've got a 7 year old who's an INCREDIBLE helper and many times, wants to do things herself. We sitll work together and she feels such a sense of worth and pride when she helps get things accomplished.

FYI........she was the SAME way! Didn't want me to leave a room without her!

I recommend that you just go on with whatever it is that you need to do and allow him to follow you around and be there near you.
BUT, say NO if he wants to be held etc, until such a time that you are finished with something and can hold him for a few minutes.
You are going to be in for trouble when the baby gets here if you do not set these boundaries now.
You might make him a little bag/backpack with his favorite toys in it that he can carry around the house and busy himself while you are doing something.
Then, if you must go on to something else,he must gather up his things and take them to the next location.