Clingy Child - Raleigh,NC

Hi stacey, I would really like to get together with you. I also just moved to Raleigh from Illinois. My son has gotten more clingy tome since we moved. He insists I do everything, from zipping his jacket, to touching his food. I have been a stay at home mom, but he is usually very social around other children. My son, is 26 months and usually plays with children slightly older than him. If you would be interested in getting together email me back. I too am looking for friends for my son.

Good luck for your trip, and try not to feel to guilty. Explain to him ahead of time that you are leaving, and do not drag out the goodbye. Probably best if your parents have some sort of distracting activity lined up for when you exit out.

more than likely, 5 minutes after you leave, he's fine. My son had some trouble going into his Mother's Morning out class, and still does every now and then (he's almost 3). You just have to suck it up and give them a hug, kiss them and tell them how much you love them and that you'll be back and strongly walk out with your head held high and cry for 15 min in your car because you feel like a bad mother for abandoning your child :) It does get easier. He just needs practice seeing that you'll come back.

have you ever left him with a babysitter? maybe get a babysitter and go to the grocery store or somewhere for an hour or so and he'll see you do come back. and then maybe for a date night or something.

Good luck! it's rough at first hearing those cries, but it gets easier once you know that by the time you get out of sight, they're fine and distracted by something else :)

I want to recommend this dvd of Hap Palmer songs that includes "My Mommy Comes Back" http://cdbaby.com/cd/happalmer15

My daughter used to love that song and it made her happy to watch it when she was staying at grandma's.

My other suggestion would be to find a Mother's Day Out program at a local church that you take him to 2 or 3 times a week for a few hours.

Good luck!

Before my husband and I went away on our first extended vacation, I talked to my little sons about where we were going, showed them on a map where we lived, where Daddy and I would be, how we were going to get there and back, the kinds of things we were going to do, marked the dates we were leaving and coming home on a calendar (even though I'm not sure how much they understood the calendar). We talked about how many days I'd be gone, counted them on the calendar, etc. Then I would throw things into normal conversation like, as I was fixing breakfast, "When Dad and I are away, Nanna will make you breakfast in the morning," or, "Next week, Nanna will take you to your class." I think that helped them realize that much of their routine would be the same but there would just be someone else helping them. I also talked about how they were going on their own "vacation" to their grandparents' house.

Just be very matter-of-fact when you talk about it, but don't brush off his concern about you leaving. Let him know you understand that he might miss you and be a little sad that you're away. Reassure him that you'll come back when your trip is over, and give him something he can pull out and think of you if he needs to while you're away. It could be as simple as a picture of you or a heart he sees you cut for him out of paper. You could also ask him if he could give you something to take on the trip--maybe a picture of himself that he picks out or a picture he draws for you.

The other thing I was torn about was calling to talk to them. I was more than happy to check in every day, but most of the time I just talked to my mom and not the kids. I never called before bed time since I found that calling then can be more upsetting than soothing, and when I called during the day, they were often too busy having fun to want to stop and talk to me. Although I missed talking to them, I was happy that they were so happy.

And just remember that even if your son has a rough start to the week, he'll probably be fine after a day or two. It's all part of growing up. Good luck!

S.,
I remember when I moved to Raleigh and had to leave my 18 month son with his grandparents while I moved across the country. I left him sobbing in the driveway with his PaPa and spent the next twelve hours guilt ridden that I had left him. When my husband picked me up at the airport he told me his dad said my son had stopped crying after about two minutes. I've stopped feeling guilty about being away from my children. My son is 16 and my daughter 13. Stop worrying about how your son will do with his grandparents and have a good time on your vacation with your husband. I wouldn't make too big a deal out of your leaving. Your son lives in the moment and you don't want to get him overly focused on your being gone. I would mention his going to spend time with grandparents and all the fun things he'll get to do, not on your leaving him. I agree with the others that finding a Mom's morning out program would be good for both of you. They usually are just a few mornings a week for a short period of time. He will gain mastery of being without you. You might also try to set up time at home when he entertains himself while you are nearby but not involved. Have him draw pictures or play with puzzles by himself for 10-15 minutes when he asks to be held. It's possible he is bored and you're familiar.
Good luck and enjoy your vacation.
L. D.

Hey, S.! We also are new to Raleigh...moved here from Oklahoma back in August and are enjoying it. I have met a lot of moms through my son's preschool. It is also has a mother's day out program that is wonderful. Anyway, I have four boys and all of them are still clingy to me. My oldest, who is 7, is not as bad, but I think they just feel security in knowing I am there. They love their daddy too. He is very involved in parenting, but I am always around. I think boys just have a special bond with their moms. However, I notice that my 7 year old is relating more to his daddy now. Which is how it should be! I think it is great that you have parents that are willing to watch your son for a week. boy, I wish I could do that! But it will be hard and that's okay too. I still have a hard time letting my older two go spend the night somewhere. It's great that you have that special bond with your son and I wouldn't worry about him being too clingy right now. Just enjoy being with him and as he becomes more secure, he will begin to venture out on his own. You'll miss him being overly clingy. My seven year old was sooo clingy as a baby and now he is so independent and I have to remind him to come give me a hug everyday even though he always tells me that he loves me. Enjoy your moments and have fun on your vacation!