Clean up Etiquette

It's fair for him to help put away what he's played with. It's not fair to have him put away everything. If the room is already a mess, maybe he shouldn't bother.

No, it is not fair for your 3 year old son to clean up his friend's messy room. Your soon needs to put what ever he plays with back where he found it. If it's a mess when your son gets to his freinds house that is the way it should be when he leaves or don't have him go over that kids house. Have his friend just come to your house to play. Good Luck and don't make your son clean up the other kids mess it's just not fair.

I agree with the other posts. Always be consistent in your expectations from your own children. Just another suggestion, if you make it seem like your kids are having a good time and feeling pride in cleaning up what they got out, maybe eventually it will send a message to Messy Marvin and he will want to clean up his room, too. Just curious? When he comes to your home to play, does his mother have him help clean up what he has messed up when he is there?

I had this issue with a friend of my daughters. When it was time to clean, I would ask her what she had played with while we were there. I would also ask the other child (with mom in earshot) if that was all they had played during our visit. Those were the toys I felt responsible for my daughter to pick up. It worked for me-good luck

Hi J., I am by no means an expert in this sort of things, but what I would/have done tell my kids to help put the toys away that they got out. Like if they have brought toys out of the room to play with, they need to put then back in the room. If they got games out, put the games away. If the room is a mess and they stay in there, then I would take cues from the mother. Tell your kids to help clean up. If the other Mother doesn't repeat the request with her kids, then I would say it one more time, but not makes my kids clean up too much unless the other kids start to help. If your kids say something about it (which mine have), then say that can still help put away the toys that THEY got out. It still reinforces your expectations, but isn't unfair, because they are not cleaning up the other kids mess. If the other mom says something like "oh don't worry about it, it is okay" then I woudl again say that they (your kids) need to at least put away the toys THEY got out. This has worked for me in the past. You don't want your kids to have to clean up someone else mess, but stil want to be consistent with your rules of cleaning up after playing. Hope that helps a little. Good luck!

I make my son clean up what he has played with. It's not fair to make him clean up someone else's mess but he can at least clean up the things that he played with.

i dont feel thats its right ,, been there my self , some times it shows the other child just how to clean ,,, i gotto the point where my child at that time only cleans up what he got out .. id look the room over so id now what was out .plus some times talkin to the other parent in voled helps so she nows what all was out at the being of your visit ,try that and see what happins, or limit child to the living room in stead of the play or bedroom where things are out . best of luck to you J.

hi,
No its not fair to make your son clean up everything that him n his friend play with if the friends room was already played in. Have both kids pick up after themselves @ your house or @ the friends house but either way your son should help! BUT not do it all while the other just stands n watches! God Bless

Don't lower your standards and teach your son the same!
I wouldn't make him clean the room completely, but take notice to the level of messyness when you arrive. When it is time to leave, take a look around and have your child clean up the items that he played with. Just because it wasn't in its proper place when you found, itsn't an excuss to just leave it lay. Your son will have better habits in the long run. So don't think of it as your son is cleaning up somebody else's mess, he is learning good habits for life.
Bev